HALFWAY THROUGH THE YEAR AND THESE ARE MY FAV ALBUMS SO FAR. CHEERS

A BILLY JOEL 1989 TOUR T SHIRT WHICH HAS BEEN IN MY CIRCLE OF NZ FRIENDS FOR ABOUT 20 YEARS, AND IN MY PERSONAL POSSESSION FOR ABOUT 12 YEARS. HERE IS ME WEARING IT WHILE STRIPPING WALLPAPER

BIG GOOD STORM AT 3AM

EDINBURGH CASTLE IS LAID OUT LIKE A DARK SOULS LEVEL. LANG STAIR IS A SHORTCUT YOU UNLOCK JUST BEFORE A BOSS IN THE GREAT HALL

OUT HERE DOING LITERAL FIELD RECORDINGS

MAJOR KEY DRONE FOR HEAT HAZE eiderdownrecords.bandcamp.com/album/water-...

I, MAYOR ANDY BURNHAM, REJECT WES STREETING’S ENDORSEMENT AND SUPPORT. HE IS AN ODIOUS CREEP WHO LOOKS LIKE A BOXFRESH DODGEBALL AND HIS HAIR IS DISTURBINGLY TIDY

As we see the end of the Starmer years, I am reflecting on my favourite things about him. Personally, it was when he told a newspaper that he didn’t dream or have any internal thoughts

SCOTTISH GORDON RAMSAY BE LIKE “ITS BRAW”

THE END OF TWIN PEAKS S3 BUT WITH CHARLIE KIRK INSTEAD OF LAURA PALMER

SIR KEIR STARMER HAS BEEN BUILDING A MODULAR SYNTHESISER FOR THE PAST YEAR AND HE PLANS TO UNVEIL IT TO THE PUBLIC TOMORROW. HE WILL STAY ON AS PM BUT PLANS TO DEVOTE MOST OF HIS TIME GOING FORWARD TO MAKING THE BEST DRONE ALBUM EVER PRODUCED AT NUMBER 10

I SOLEMNLY PROMISE THAT I, ANDY “SHAGGER” BURNHAM, WILL HAVE THE HIGHEST BODY COUNT OF ANY PM IN LIVING MEMORY

I KNOW EVERYONE HAS BEEN WONDERING, AND IT’S FRIDAY SO WHY NOT … HERE’S WHAT I LOOK LIKE

SO MANY OF THE WORLD’S TOP FOODS ARE SOME CHUNKS OF STUFF WITH A SAUCE CONTAINING TOMATOES, ONIONS AND SEASONINGS AND SERVED WITH SOME KIND OF STARCH. SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT HUMANS, WE DID A GREAT JOB ON THAT ONE

I’M MAYOR ANDY BURNHAM AND IF YOU DON’T VOTE FOR ME, SOMEONE ELSE WILL

HEARD KEIR STARMER IS OUTSTANDING IN HIS FIELD THAT’S RIGHT. HE’S SIR WEIRD FARMER I’M MAYOR ANDY BURNHAM AND I DESERVE YOUR VOTE. A VOTE FOR ME IS A VOTE FOR CONTINUITY

I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT THE OVERSIZED OXFORD SHIRT IN SIZE MEDIUM AT UNIQLO IS THE PERFECT SHIRT FOR ME, MAYOR ANDY BURNHAM. VERY SOFT, GREAT FIT, SOME SYNTHETIC MATERIAL YES BUT STILL VERY COMFORTABLE AND BREATHABLE. CAN RECOMMEND!

SMASHING PUMPKINS SONG TITLES THAT COULD ALSO BE DARK SOULS BOSSES: TRISTESSA PORCELINA OF THE VAST OCEANS CUPID DE LOCKE MARQUIS IN SPADES MEDELLIA OF THE GRAY SKIES BEHOLD! THE NIGHT MARE ANNIE-DOG GLASS AND THE GHOST CHILDREN THE CRYING TREE OF MERCURY THE CELESTIALS PINWHEELS

SPECIAL EPISODE THAT IS JUST A MIRROR AND IT’S CALLED “DOCTOR YOU”

I, MAYOR ANDY BURNHAM, HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE: MY ACTUAL NAME IS ANDY BURNT HAM

ORGANISING EVERY SONG EVER MADE IN A PLAYLIST THAT STARTS AT THE WORST SONG AND ENDS IN THE BEST. BOTH THESE SPOTS ARE TAKEN BY PAUL MCCARTNEY’S TEMPORARY SECRETARY

BITS OF FOOD I HAVE FOUND DISCARDED ON THE STREET

HOSTING A BUNGA BUNGA PARTY AT THE STAR I ASSUME JOHN TRAVOLTA HAS ON THE HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME

BOOKED AN UPSTAIRS ROOM AT THE PEAR TREE FOR A BUNGA BUNGA PARTY

AGREE, IT SHOULD BE SPELT YOT

SAD TO REPORT RYAN REYNOLDS HAS BEEN BEHEADED BY MONGOLIAN HORDES … ONE OF THE FINEST CAREERS IN HISTORY … FROM TWO GUYS A GIRL AND A PIZZA PLACE TO THE MOVIE WHERE HE IS IN A BOX. WE WILL NEVER SEE HIS LIKES AGAIN. I WOULD SAY REST IN PEACE BUT WE KNOW THERE IS NO REST OR PEACE WHERE HE IS GOING

HACKERS BE WARNED: THESE TWEETS ARE PROTECTED BY HP WOLF SECURITY

SIR KEIR STARMER: LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT YOUR LIFESTYLE … MANDELSON: … DETERMINES MY DEATHSTYLE, YES

I HATE AI!! I NEVER WANT TO READ AN AI SUMMARY OR SEE AN AI IMAGE OR HEAR AN AI SONG. IF NORMAL PRODUCTS WERE THIS USELESS AND WRONG ALL THE TIME WE’D NEVER USE THEM. DRIVES ME MAD THAT WE CANNOT ESCAPE THIS NOW

SO GOOD TO KNOW THESE GUYS ARE FROM EDINBURGH. LOOKING AT THESE SONG TITLES, KNOWING THEY’RE ALMOST CERTAINLY REFERRING TO THE GYLE CENTRE

POWER RANKING METALLICA ALBUMS: 1 AND JUSTICE FOR ALL 2 MASTER OF PUPPETS 3 LOAD 4 LULU 5 RIDE THE LIGHTNING 6 ST ANGER 7 HARDWIRED TO SELF DESTRUCT 8 BLACK ALBUM 9 RELOAD 10 KILL EM ALL 11 72 SEASONS 12 DEATH MAGNETIC

I DON’T LIKE CARS BUT I IMAGINE THEM ALL THE TIME. DOZENS OF CARS STREAMING OUT OF STORM DRAINS AND CHIMNEYS, BURSTING THROUGH WALLS, CARS CAREENING ACROSS THE SKY

I AM ENJOYING THE NEW BOARDS OF CANADA ALBUM BUT REALLY A GOOD CHUNK OF THIS IS JUST SPOOKY FRONTIER PSYCHIATRIST

ARTHUR’S SEAT SHOULD BE DESTROYED AND ITS MATERIALS USED TO BUILD A PRISON ON THE SAME SITE

RETIRED PEOPLE HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD. AND YET NO RETIRED PERSON I KNOW HAS MADE A SINGLE DRONE ALBUM. I DON’T UNDERSTAND THINGS LIKE THAT

I’M A CORRUPT OLD WAR CRIMINAL AND I AM BREAKING MY NON EXISTENT SILENCE TO SHARE YET ANOTHER INCREDIBLY SHITTY OPINION

THAT’S RIGHT. I AM HITTING MY PBS TO THE BEAUTIFUL SOUND OF JOHNNY CASH HURT

I HAVE BECOME A “RECORDING PLANTS” GUY

THE BEATLES IS THE SUBJECT I KNOW MOST ABOUT SO YOU CAN CONSIDER MY LIST DEFINITIVE 1 A DAY IN THE LIFE 2 LONG LONG LONG 3 DEAR PRUDENCE 4 MARTHA MY DEAR 5 THINGS WE SAID TODAY 6 IT’S ALL TOO MUCH 7 EVERY LITTLE THING 8 STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER 9 YOU NEVER GIVE ME YOUR MONEY 10 SHE SAID SHE SAID

I, ANDY BURNHAM, BELIEVE IT’S TIME FOR TRUE PROGRESSIVE CHANGE. THAT’S WHY I URGE THE PEOPLE OF MAKERFIELD TO VOTE GREEN

TRYING SOMETHING HERE. THESE ARE THE BEST XTC SONGS 1 JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS 2 RIVER OF ORCHIDS 3 SUMMER’S CAULDRON/GRASS 4 SENSES WORKING OVERTIME 5 EASTER THEATRE 6 TRAVELS IN NIHILON 7 LOVE ON A FARMBOY’S WAGES 8 MERMAID SMILED 9 SNOWMAN 10 GREEN MAN

MY COMMUNITY GROUP SPENT LOADS ON A COMEDIAN WHO JUST TALKED ABOUT BEING A PUBLIC INTELLECTUAL FOR AN HOUR WE GOT A BADDIEL

IT TOOK WORKING IN A PENSION PROVIDER FOR ME TO ACTUALLY PAY ANY MIND TO MY PENSIONS. THIS FIGURE DOES NOT SHOCK ME. MOST PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW OR CARE. IT’S A BAD SCENE

I LOVE FOOD DISCOURSE. I HAVE BEEN TO DOZENS OF COUNTRIES IN NEARLY EVERY CONTINENT AND HAVE EATEN GOOD AND BAD FOOD IN ALL OF THEM. EXCEPT MALAYSIA, WHERE EVEN MY WORST MEAL WAS DELICIOUS

GOD DAMN I LOVE MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR. CONTENDER FOR BEST BEATLES ALBUM. THEIR SILLIEST AND WEIRDEST SONGS, ALL DELIVERED WITH A PERFECTLY EERIE VIBE. EVEN YOUR MOTHER SHOULD KNOW HAS AN UNCANNY SORT OF MALICE ABOUT IT

WILLEM DAFOE IMPLIES THE EXISTENCE OF WILLEM DA FRIEND. HATE MYSELF

EXCITED TO LEARN WES HAS QUIT POLITICS COMPLETELY TO FOCUS ON HIS TRUE PASSION: BEING A WEIRD LITTLE RUMPELSTILTSKIN FREAK RUNNING AROUND MAKING HEEBLE GREEBLE NOISES

I AM BOYFRIEND MATERIAL, HUSBAND MATERIAL, MAYOR MATERIAL, MP MATERIAL, PRIME MINISTER MATERIAL, WIFE MATERIAL, MACHINE WASHABLE MATERIAL, IMMATERIAL, MANAGEMENT MATERIAL, HIS DARK MATERIALS, POROUS MATERIAL, DURABLE MATERIAL. I AM MAYOR ANDY BURNHAM!!

IT’S HEY YA AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED. BRIGHTSIDE’S HALF LIFE HAS BEEN TOO LONG TO BE PURELY MILLENNIAL ERA, WE ARE YOUNG IS A BAD SONG AND LARGELY FORGOTTEN, SMOOTH A GOOD CONTENDER BUT TOO MEMEY. MAY AS WELL BE ALL STAR IF WE’RE GOING THERE