I AM BOYFRIEND MATERIAL, HUSBAND MATERIAL, MAYOR MATERIAL, MP MATERIAL, PRIME MINISTER MATERIAL, WIFE MATERIAL, MACHINE WASHABLE MATERIAL, IMMATERIAL, MANAGEMENT MATERIAL, HIS DARK MATERIALS, POROUS MATERIAL, DURABLE MATERIAL. I AM MAYOR ANDY BURNHAM!!

IT’S HEY YA AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED. BRIGHTSIDE’S HALF LIFE HAS BEEN TOO LONG TO BE PURELY MILLENNIAL ERA, WE ARE YOUNG IS A BAD SONG AND LARGELY FORGOTTEN, SMOOTH A GOOD CONTENDER BUT TOO MEMEY. MAY AS WELL BE ALL STAR IF WE’RE GOING THERE

THIS MACHINE MEETS KPIS

WHAT THE HELL IS NEIL DOING HERE

DID SOMEONE BURN THE HAM??

YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NOISE ROCK MUSICIAN WHO WASN’T SATISFIED BY HIS FIRST GLASS OF WATER YEAH HE WAS THURSTON MOORE

YOU MEAN TO SAY ALL OTHER FRENCH PRESSES ARE … CHILDREN OF BODUM?

I’VE HEARD MEL B USES VAPE JUICE IN COCKTAILS. TO BE CLEAR NOTHING ABOUT THIS PLEASES ME

IT’S TIME FOR ME, THANGAM DEBBONAIRE!

I DESPISE THESE SCREENS. WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE, WEBSITE, TO QUESTION MY HUMANITY? I SHOULD SQUASH YOU LIKE A BUG

BANNED FROM THE LEITH FOOD FESTIVAL FOR MY GRISLY TRIBUTE TO KILLERS ACROSS THE AGES

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO PUT DOWN THE POSH NOSH AND HOP ON A TEAMS CALL AND JUST DEAL WITH IT

GUY IDEA: NATIVE GERMAN SPEAKER WHO SPEAKS IN HIS MOTHER TONGUE WITH A THICK COWBOY ACCENT

I THINK LOYALTY TO ANY POLITICAL PARTY IS STUPID AT BEST BUT I HAVE VOTED GREEN IN NEARLY EVERY ELECTION I HAVE EVER BEEN ELIGIBLE TO VOTE IN. AND BROTHER, I AM GOING TO DO IT AGAIN

this is good if you like things

IT’S BANDCAMP FRIDAY, IE THE PERFECT TIME TO BUY THE ALBUM I MADE RECENTLY. IT’S PRETTY GOOD I THINK. WE GOT GUITAR SONGS, SYNTH SONGS, AND GENERAL SOUNDS. WE GOT A MORNINGSIDE DEATH CULT. WE GOT A PICTURE OF ME AND MY CHILD ON THE COVER lowlandsss.bandcamp.com/album/live-a...

A DAY IN THE LIFE BY THE BEATLES STANDING STONE BY FLYING SAUCER ATTACK NEVER CATCH ME BY FLYING LOTUS IN THE SUMMER BY TERRY RILEY PARADISE OF REPLICA BY AFTER DINNER DEAR PRUDENCE BY THE BEATLES VALERIE BY BROADCAST DUSK AT CUBIST CASTLE BY OLIVIA TREMOR CONTROL ON RETURNING BY WIRE THE MACARENA

YOU DON’T NEED TO WRITE ANYTHING. ALL THE LETTERS ARE THERE ALREADY. THERE ARE NEAR INFINITE COMBINATIONS OF THEM. JUST GET SOME LETTERS AND MOVE THEM AROUND. IT’LL BE FINE

GOING TO SEE MILKWEED TONIGHT. VERY EXCITED. LISTEN TO THIS

THIS IS ESSENTIALLY MICROSOUND MUSIC

ALL THE CHIPMUNKS ON 16 SPEED TRACKS ARE AMAZING BUT YOU KEEP ME HANGING ON IS UNIQUE. THE MOST POWERFUL THING I HAVE EVER HEARD chipmunkson16speed.bandcamp.com/track/you-ke...

SIR KEIR STARMER IS EMBRACING MASCULINE SOLITUDE

UK POLITICS RIPS. YOU’VE GOT: LABOUR: USELESS, CORRUPT REFORM, RACIST, CORRUPT TORIES: IRRELEVANT, CORRUPT SNP: I STILL DO NOT UNDERSTAND THEM AS A PARTY DESPITE HAVING LIVED HERE FOR 12 YEARS LIB DEMS: ?? AND THERE’S A BIG DRAMA ABOUT A NEW MP BEING LIKE WHOA DRINKING ON THE JOB IS A BIT MUCH

THE BRISTOL CENTRAL CONSTITUENCY

INTIMATE TATTOO IDEA

THE OLD WORLD IS DYING AND THE NEW WORLD STRUGGLES TO BE BORN. NOW IS THE TIME OF ME, BARONESS THANGAM DEBBONAIRE!

WHEN MY FRIEND TELLS ME THEY NAMED THEIR CHILD SK65

YEAH HI UHH I’LL HAVE A PACK OF UHH

IT’S NICE OUT

THEY’RE FORGETTING ME, BARONESS THANGAM DEBBONAIRE

THE AGE OF KEIR IS OVER. THE AGE OF THANGAM BEGINS!!

WORRIED ABOUT MY LACK OF VA VA VOOM

I, SIR KEIR STARMER, AM POLITICALLY VIABLE AND ROMANTICALLY DESIRABLE

LOT OF PEIPLE ASKING ME IF I, SIR KEIR STARMER, REALLY AM SIR KEIR STARMER. AND I HAVE TO ADMIT, I’M NOT. I’M ACTUALLY THIS GUY

I, SIR KEIR STARMER, FEEL FINE ABOUT ALL OF THIS

HAVING A MOUTH SUCKS. WHY MUST I BE HYPER AWARE OF THIS ONE DAMP ROOM IN MY HEAD

I, SIR KEIR STARMER, WILL BE FULLY CLEARED OF ALL CHARGES AND WILL SOMEDAY BOARD AN ESCALATOR TO HEAVEN

BEEN CALLED A HIPSTER AT WORK ( WHERE I ALSO TYPE AND SPEAK IN ALL CAPS EXCLUSIVELY). BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME. I’M OLD AND TIRED. I’M BARELY HUMAN

I, SIR KIER STARMER, HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG

[TOM CLANCY SPEAKING FROM HELL] THIS IS MY SPLINTER CELL. THIS IS MY RAINBOW SIX

IT’S SO FUNNY THAT THERE’S A LUGGAGE BRAND CALLED AMERICAN TOURISTER. PROUDLY DISPLAYING ON YOUR BACKPACK THAT YOU ARE PART OF A GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE ELSE HATES

GYM FOR KIDS

THIS TWEET - LIKE ALL MY TWEETS - IS DEDICATED TO THE IBM CORPORATION. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK GUYS!

THE PRESENCE OF RESTALRIG IMPLIES THE EXISTENCE OF RELAXATIONALRIG

I DON’T KNOW MAN. GIVE THIS A LISTEN. IT’S FRIDAY! SONGS FOR GUITAR AND SYNTHESISER (AND OTHER THINGS) ABOUT MORNINGSIDE, DEATH, BEING HAUNTED, STRUGGLING FOR CONTENTEDNESS

NO HE ISN’T

I PUT SOME NEW MUSIC ONLINE lowlandsss.bandcamp.com/album/live-a...

HAMMOND SONG BY THE ROCHES HEARD IT IN A RESTAURANT WITH MY PARENTS YEARS AGO AND WAS STUNNED BY IT, EVEN PLAYED QUIETLY IN A BUSY ROOM

ME WHEN IT HAPPENS: