CHANGED MY NAME TO BIG GAVIN HATRED. ASKED A DEBUTANTE IF I COULD HAVE THIS DANCE AND SHE LAUGHED AND SAID THE DANCE HAVER HAS LOGGED ON. OBVIOUSLY YAHOO.COM IS TAKEN ALREADY BUT THERE IS A LOT OF POTENTIAL IN THE REMAINING AVAILABLE WEB DOMAINS

TK MAXX SHOULD SELL EXPIRED CIGARETTES

FIREFIGHTERS SHOULD USE THEIR FISTS AND NOT COWER BEHIND HOSES

IT IS BANDCMP FRIDAY AND I AM TIRED OF FLOGGING MY ALBUM FROM LAST YEAR ABOUT THE HOLY GRAIL. I AM WORKING ON A NEW ONE THAT WAS ORIGINALLY ABOUT THE MORNINGSIDE AREA IN EDINBURGH BUT NOW IT IS SORT OF ABOUT MORE THAN THAT. ALL OLD MUSIC IS AT lowlandsss.bandcamp.com. CHEERS

I FEEL THAT THE PENDULUM HAS SWUNG TOO FAR IN ONE DIRECTION; AS A RESULT I AM NOW FIRMLY AGAINST PERFORMATIVE MEN READING OUTSIDE. I WILL RETAIN THIS POSITION UNTIL I FEEL IT BECOMES TOO COMMONLY ACCEPTED AND THEN I WILL SWITCH BACK

THE LIFESTYLE IS DYING AND THE DEATHSTYLE STRUGGLES TO BE BORN: NOW IS THE TIME OF ST ANGER

EVEN IF I BROUGHT YOU THE HORIZON (IMPOSSIBLE), WHAT WOULD YOU EVEN DO WITH IT. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK

I’M THE GUY WHO’S BEEN PAINTING THOSE ROUNDABOUTS. IT’S ONLY THE ENGLISH FLAG BECAUSE THE SAUDI ARABIAN ONE IS TOO COMPLEX FOR SPRAY PAINT

FORMER NEW ZEALAND PRIME MINISTER BILL ENGLISH LEANS BACK. HE IS TIRED BUT HE HAS NEVER FELT MORE ALIVE. HIS FACE CRUMPLES INWARD, HIS BODY FOLLOWS. IN HIS MIND HE ONLY SEES GREAT TOWERS OF IRON

FOR A WHILE THERE, OUT IN FOUNTAINBRIDGE, THEY HAD A WHOLE GROVE JUST FOR STAMPERS

LISTENING TO TOUCHÉ AMORE

I HAVE BEEN COLLECTING SMALL FRAGMENTS OF SENTENCES THAT I HEAR ON THE STREET FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS NOW. HERE IS A SMALL SAMPLE OF MY BIG STUPID LIST

I AM A PROUD FATHER. I HAVE A GLOSSY FINISH. I AM IN NEED OF A FULL AUDIT. I AM TROUBLED BY THE HORRORS. I AM KNEE DEEP IN UNIDENTIFIABLE SUBSTANCES. I AM FINE WITH CABBAGE BY ITSELF BUT ONCE IT’S IN COLESLAW I AM VIOLENTLY ALLERGIC

YOU WILL FIND THE TRUTH OF SOCIETY IN THE INFORMATION IT TRIES TO KEEP FROM YOU

IF I SAW A TAMBOURINE MAN THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD ASK HIM TO PLAY A SONG FOR ME. CAN’T PLAY SHIT ON A TAMBOURINE. JUST SOME JINGKA JINGKA SOUNDS

HOPING NOBODY GRINDS UP MY FLESH FOR “MEAT BALLS”

FARRAH FAWCETT … BEAUTIFUL NAME. THESE DAYS SHE’D BE CALLED FARRAH TAP

IMAGINE SEEING THIS IN REAL LIFE. A HORRIFYING VISION

CANNIBAL CORPSE IS A TERRIBLE NAME FOR THE KIND OF MUSIC THEY MAKE. IN MY OPINION IT’S A HUGE RELIEF THAT THE CANNIBAL IS NOW A CORPSE. THE MUSIC SHOULD BE CELEBRATORY, BRIMMING WITH THE FRESH POSSIBILITIES OF A LIFE WITHOUT FEAR

THE CALA IN CALA HOMES IS SHORT FOR KALASHNIKOV. THE REVOLUTION WILL BEGIN IN AN EAST LOTHIAN NEW BUILD

CAN’T STAND WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY ARE FROM DUMFRIES AND GALLOWAY. YOU’RE NOT. YOU’RE FROM DUMFRIES OR GALLOWAY. IF YOU CAN’T BE HONEST WITH ME AT LEAST BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF

IT RULES WHEN PEOPLE CALLED KATIE SPELL IT ‘KT’. HELL YEAH BABY! KEEP IT ROCKIN

KOKOMO IS A DREAM POP SONG

I SOLD PETER JACKSON TICKETS TO BACK TO BACK SCREENINGS OF THE HAPPENING AND YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN. BEAUTIFUL TO THINK I FACILITATED WHAT MUST HAVE BEEN ONE OF THE WORST DAYS OF HIS LIFE

THE TRUE MEASURE OF ADULTHOOD IS HOW MANY OF YOUR HEROES ARE DEAD

IMAGINE A SHEET LAID FLAT ON THE GROUND. THIS IS JUST MY OPINION, BUT IT SHOULD BE POSSIBLE TO STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHEET AND LIFT UP ITS CORNERS AND ACHIEVE SOME CRUDE FORM OF LEVITATION THROUGH YOUR OWN STRENGTH LIFTING YOUR BODY WEIGHT

LIVE EVERY DAY AS IF IT IS YOUR LAST. ASSUME YOU WILL DIE IN A WAY THAT ENSURES EXCEPTIONAL PRESERVATION OF YOUR BODY. EAT, WEAR AND CARRY THINGS THAT WILL CONFOUND FUTURE ARCHAEOLOGISTS AND RUIN THE ACCEPTED HISTORICAL RECORD ABOUT YOUR ERA

IN 2012 I WAS VOTED BEST DRESSED NIHILIST FROM A FRANKLY UNCOMPETITIVE FIELD OF THREE

EASTENDERS - A SHOW OSTENSIBLY ABOUT ENDING THE EAST FOR GOOD - WILL NEVER ALLOW ITSELF TO ACHIEVE ITS MISSION. BECAUSE ONCE THE EAST IS ENDED, IT’S ALL OVER FOR THE SHOW. AND SO WE CONTINUE IN PUNISHING PERPETUAL MOTION

YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT. BEING GENTLE IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED AND IF THE NIGHT’S GOOD, WHY WASTE IT

THE ANSWER HERE IS SIMPLE: IF KADY DOES NOT GET THE TATTOO, MARNIE MUST GET A TATTOO OF KADY WITH THE TATTOO. IF THE ARTIST IS AS TALENTED AS WE ARE LED TO BELIEVE, A PHOTOREALISTIC DEPICTION OF A LESS COWARDLY KADY SHOULD NOT BE A PROBLEM

I HAVE NO WAY OR KNOWING EITHER WAY BUT I AM VERY WORRIED THAT I WAS PATIENT ZERO FOR COVID IN THE UK

TEARS FOR FEARS: FINE BAND, AWFUL TRADE. I WOULD MUCH RATHER HAVE TEARS THAN FEARS

I HAVE SPOKEN TO ALL OTHER SPECIES OF ANIMAL, AND ALL OF THEM SAID THEY WERE CREEPED OUT BY OUR HANDS

On what is a really difficult day, here are some resources for our trans friends and allies. Solidarity 💜 goodlawproject.org/resource/sup...

become completely obsessed with this 1973 brazilian psych album. we’re talking weird sound collages, delayed out one-chord folk instrumentals, bursts of garage rock, all recorded at a remarkably low fidelity. it’s just magical youtu.be/UaeU-xkQDC4?...

listening to lou reed is wild because he’ll have a genuinely beautiful 11 minute masterpiece and when you’re still reeling from that the next song will start and it’s called this

GREATEST COMEDIANS OF ALL TIME: ROMESH RANGANATHAN JON RICHARDSON ROB BECKETT ROISIN CROMARTY KATHERINE RYAN

jacking this van and getting team fortress 2 for free

we’ve been watching white lotus and it’s extremely funny. every time it cuts to the benzoed out dad doing nothing whatsoever is so good. most of the characters are bad and the incest stuff is unappealing. the show itself is fine. cheers

got a ticket to my bloody valentine. looking forward to seeing some 60 year olds rock out

keane - somewhere only we know. pure hatred for that hellscape of a song

really excited about mbv playing later this year. gonna go see them. hope they use sound effects for example boing, honk, crash etc

the new tortoise track is very much a tortoise track. that is, it’s very good

listening to moon’s milk. never really given coil a proper go before but holy hell this is good. this is some of the best music

watched a youtube video of the clean playing live in 1990 and at the end they emerge from the venue to a street about 20 metres from my old flat in wellington. a weird collision of the sublime and deeply mundane

this album is exactly as good as everyone is gonna tell you it is (it’s extremely good) losthuthanaka.bandcamp.com/album/los-th...

humans must look so disgusting to other mammals. awful skin, arbitrary concentrations of fur