LOOK I’M SURE THIS IS A GOOD FESTIVAL BUT THE GRAPHIC IS A DISASTER OF A PATCH. THE STORED VOLTAGE CV OUTPUT IS GOING INTO THE ENVELOPE OUTPUT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. DISAPPOINTING

LISTENED TO A BUNCH OF NIN LATELY. CURRENT ALBUM RANKING: 1 YEAR ZERO 2 BAD WITCH 3 DOWNWARD SPIRAL 4 THE FRAGILE 5 HESITATION MARKS 6 PRETTY HATE MACHINE 7 BROKEN 8 GHOSTS (ALL OF EM) 9 WITH TEETH 10 THE SLIP CHEERS

COMMUNITY MENACE

A READY PLAYER ONE STYLE FILM BUT IT’S ABOUT ALSO-RAN POLITICAL FIGURES OF THE RECENT PAST. HELPING BETO O’ROURKE OUT OF A JAM. WEIGHT TRAINING WITH PAUL RYAN. THE PRESENCE AND INTOLERABLE NAME OF REINCE PREIBUS

I WORKED IN A CINEMA WHILE I WAS AT UNIVERSITY AND I SPENT MOST OF MY TIME AT WORK EXTREMELY ANGRY PROBABLY THE ANGRIEST I’VE BEEN IS WHEN AN MAN CALLED ME A PIMPLY CUNT AND THREW A SIGN AT ME

WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S (1989)

SYNTHESISER SUMMONING

AS A MODULAR SYNTH PLAYER I AM HORRIFIED AND DISGUSTED THAT THE UK HAS LEGITIMISED THIS HORRIBLE HOBBY BY NAMING ONE OF MY PEOPLE AS ITS EUROVISION ENTRY THIS YEAR

HIDING BENEATH A MANHOLE COVER, REACHING JUST MY HAND OUT TO OFFER PASSERS BY A LOVELY PANCAKE. MANY ACCEPT IT, SOME SAY OH SORRY I ALREADY SHROVE. IT FEELS GOOD TO GIVE SOMETHING BACK. IN MY DAMP PIT I AM HAPPY

WATCHED THE NEON DEMON. AND YEP SOMETHING CAN BE ABSOLUTE GARBAGE WHILE BEING UNBELIEVABLY BEAUTIFUL. WHICH I GUESS IS KIND OF THE POINT OF THE FILM IN AN OBLIQUE WAY

IT IS BULLSHIT THAT DOCTORS HAVE TO DEAL WITH COMPLAINTS THAT REALLY SHOULD BE MADE TO GOD

DONE ALL OF THESE EXCEPT WRITE A BOOK. WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE UNLIKE ALL THE OTHER ART FORMS I AM PRETTY GOOD AT WRITING. BEST BELIEVE I ONE DAY WILL AND IT WILL SUCK SHIT

TFW YOUR SAVING ON HIGH SPEED INTERNET, PHONE PLANS AND CABLE TV SERVICES

HOUSE OF LEAVES: THE GAME THE FILE SIZE IS MUCH TOO SMALL FOR THE ASSETS AND CODE CONTAINED IN THE GAME THE TUTORIAL LASTS EXACTLY FIVE AND A HALF MINUTES IT IS NOT CLEAR WHEN YOU’RE PLAYING THE GAME OR WHEN YOU’RE IN YOUR CONSOLE MENU SCREEN THERE IS AN UNBELIEVABLY ANNOYING VOICEOVER THROUGHOUT

ISN’T REFORM’S WHOLE GOAL TO PRESENT A CONTRAST TO THE DECLINE AND DECAY OF MAINSTREAM POLITICS? WHY ARE THEY NOW PACKING THEIR PARTY WITH THE SENIOR POLITICIANS WHO PRESIDED OVER EXACTLY THAT SAME DECLINE??

THIS OLIVE OIL CONTAINER HAS A PICTURE OF A DIFFERENT OLIVE OIL CONTAINER ON IT. I HATE THIS. IT IS THE MOST ALIENATING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN (THE PHOTO IS BAD BECAUSE I WAS SHAKING WITH ANGER AND FEAR)

FINALLY,, VIDEO GAMES ARE BETTER LOOKING THAN THE FAKE GAME IN THE RHCP CALIFORNICATION VIDEO

MBV BILL ORCUTT APARTMENT HOUSE MABE FRATTI TALL DWARFS

HERE’S A FREE TWEET FOR ANYONE WHO DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING IN THE BACKLOG JUST NOW: GOTHAM CITY IMPLIES THE EXISTENCE OF STATHAM CITY IT’S YOURS. NO ATTRIBUTION NEEDED. YOU CAN KEEP THE LIKES FOR YOURSELF, THEY ARE ALL DOLLARS TO SPEND IN HEAVEN

BEING A PARENT I READ A LOT OF CHILDREN’S BOOKS AND REALLY SO MANY OF THEM ARE ABSOLUTE CYNICAL DOGSHIT FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO IDEAS BUT KNOW HOW TO WRITE RHYMING SENTENCES. WE GOTTA GET CELEBS OFF THE TRAIN. IT IS SO CLEAR WHEN A BOOK HAS OR HAS NOT BEEN WRITTEN WITH CARE AND CRAFT

JIMMY: [CRACKS CORN] ME: DON’T GIVE A SHIT PAL

WELL YEAH HE FIXES EVERY FOOTBALL MATCH. HE FIXES EVERY SPORT. GOD IS A PROBLEM

TV SHOW IDEA: ENTROPY WARRIOR A PERSON DOES CHALLENGES TO FIGHT ENTROPY. GETTING GRANULATED SUGAR OUT OF A CUP OF TEA. UNSHAKING BUTTER TO GET CREAM. THE OPENING TITLES HAVE THE ENTROPY WARRIOR SHOOTING THE AUDIENCE WITH A GUN

LISTENED TO NINE INCH NAILS THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL. GOOD ALBUM! THE BITS WITH GUITARS AND YELLING ARE EASILY THE WORST PARTS BUT LUCKILY THEY ARE BASICALLY SELF CONTAINED AND SEPARATE FROM THE REST OF THE SONGS. YOU COULD EASILY REMOVE MOST OF THEM AND BE LEFT WITH A GREAT EXPERIMENTAL ELECTRONIC ALBUM

I LIKE STOP MAKING SENSE BUT NO SONG ON IT IS BETTER THAN ITS STUDIO VERSION. THAT IS JUST A FACT. BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE IS BEST AS A NERVOUS NIGHTMARE, NOT A JOYOUS CELEBRATION

BEING REWARDED WITH A SKULL COIN IS A SURE SIGN YOU’RE ON THE RIGHT SIDE

KEIR STARMER MUST DEMAND THAT ELON MUSK WATCHES ADOLESENCE

BURGLARY IDEA: SEE WHICH HOUSES HAVE HAD SNOW SETTLE ON THEIR ROOF TO KNOW WHO IS HOME AND HAS HEATING ON AND WHO ISN’T

TALKING HEADS ROME 1980 ANIMAL COLLECTIVE SUNG TONGS LIVE TERRY RILEY MOONSHINE SURGERY DERVISHES JULIA HOLTER IN THE SAME ROOM GLENN BRANCA SYMPHONY NO 1 KEITH JARRETT KOLN CONCERT MOUNT EERIE LIVE IN BLOOMINGTON BOREDOMS SUPER ROOTS 9 DAVID BOWIE LIVE IN NASSAU NEIL DIAMOND HOT AUGUST NIGHT

CONCUSSION (THE EFFECTS OF WHICH I STILL FEEL) FROM SLIPPING AND FALLING WHEN FLYING A KITE, AGE 22

YEARS LATER WHILE TOURING WITH MY BAND SIGOURNEY AND THE WEAVERS I WAS STUCK BY LIGHTNING. WHEN I WOKE UP MY PERSONALITY HAD TRANSFORMED. I NO LONGER LIKED MACARONI, OR CHEESE. CORN WAS DISGUSTING BUT THE COB WAS DELICIOUS. WHEN I WENT TO THE BEACH IT WAS ALWAYS LOW TIDE, LIKE THE SEA WAS FLEEING

THE DEMIURGE

LISTEN MOTHERFUCKER DO I LOOK LIKE A COP TO YOU?? DO I LOOK LIKE A GOD DAMN COP. JESUS CHRIST I NEED A FANTA. I THINK I’M OVERDOSING ON MARIJUANA

WATCHING GLASS ONION. SO MUCH DIALOGUE IN THESE MOVIES IS STUPID RIGHT WING TALKING POINTS AS IMAGINED BY SOMEONE WITH SEEMINGLY NO UNDERSTANDING OR INTEREST IN POLITICS OR POLITICAL THOUGHT. IT IS GRATING AND SMUG. NOT A FAN!

It’s that time again.

STANDING OUTSIDE A PUB I WATCHED A MAN DRESSED ENTIRELY IN RED WALK DOWN THE STREET AND, WITHOUT ANY INTERACTION OR ACKNOWLEDGEMENT, HAND A WOMAN IN A SPORTS BRA AND SHORTS A BATTERED LOOKING SCROLL. IT WAS ABOUT MIDNIGHT IN THE DEPTHS OF WINTER

You know in movies where they kinda wipe their hand gently over the face of a dead guy and it closes their eyes. It would be a good gag if they did that on a guy with glasses. Either his eyes close or the glasses turn into sunglasses.

DUE TO BEING A PARENT I AM STAYING HOME THIS HOGMANAY AND I WILL BE DOING ONE THING ONLY: WATCHING THE ENTIRE TOM HANKS DA VINCI CODE TRILOGY. I THINK EXPOSURE TO ALL OF THEM AT ONCE WILL UNLOCK SOME KIND OF UNDERSTANDING OR AT LEAST SUSPICION IN MY WRETCHED MIND

RANKED BY HOW POPULAR THEIR TITLES WOULD BE AT A CHILDREN’S BIRTHDAY PARTY: 1 BABY 2 SPORTY 3 POSH 4 SCARY 5 GINGER

THE SPICE GIRLS, RANKED BY HOW CLEAR THEIR DESCRIPTIONS OF THEMSELVES ARE: 1 GINGER 2 SPORTY 3 POSH 4 BABY 5 SCARY

I WOKE UP CHAINED TO A RADIATOR, SURROUNDED BY RUSTY RAZOR BLADES AND DRIED BLOOD. I REMEMBERED THE DRUGS, THE GOSSIP, THE PAPARAZZI. THAT LIFE, THOSE PROBLEMS … THEY SEEMED SO DISTANT. A FIGURE APPEARED IN THE DOORWAY. I LOOKED UP AND FEEBLY CROAKED: “I’M A CELEBRITY … GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

MANGETOUT … PETIT POIS … BRITISH PEOPLE JUST REALLY WANT TO BELIEVE PEAS ARE FRENCH. IT’S PEAS MATE. THEY ARE SPIRITUALLY FROM MILTON KEYNES

I’M A CELEBRITY … GET ME OUT OF HERE!

RIP CHRIS REA - HERE IS AN ALL-MARIMBA COVER I MADE OF DRIVING HOME FOR CHRISTMAS, RELEASED EXACTLY 10 YEARS AGO TODAY mountpleasant.bandcamp.com/track/drivin...

I DID NOT LIKE WAKE UP DEAD MAN VERY MUCH. SMUG DIALOGUE, UNJUSTIFIABLE LENGTH, A PLOT THAT IS HANGING ON FOR DEAR LIFE. JOSH O’CONNOR WAS GREAT THOUGH

I WORKED IN A CINEMA IN MY TEENS AND THERE ARE NO GOOD MEMORIES. AWFUL PEOPLE, AWFUL FILMS, HELL JOB. I DON’T EVEN LIKE MOVIES

MY WIFE: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT PAULIE WALNUTS ME: