A Carabao is what you get when you cross a big deer with a delicious filled dumpling

DO NOT FEED THE ABOMINABLE INTELLIGENCE

Drop a great pair of eyes from a movie or TV show 👀

"bluesky is boring" then youre a fake ass poster. youre not supposed to mindlessly scroll youre supposed to post your every thought for the five people who care about u

Had a crumpet with my soup today instead of bread and I feel like I unlocked an elite upgrade

The Batman Forever soundtrack

Arranging a coordinated downvote strike on the crisp subreddit for everyone who answered the question 'what are the best beef crisps' with flavours that aren't beef

"Wanna sign up to our newsletter when you buy this item" "No thanks 🙂" "Well fuck you, you're going to get one email a day"

Everything set up for the small Kill Team competition this weekend

Mad that two weeks ago when I fancied an After Eight it was just there but now when I fancy one they're gone for another 11 months

When people ask me how the gym is going

Refusing to listen to that one Sam Fender song I like because of Newcastle's last minute (two many extra minutes) winning goal

This looks like the bad guy in an early Cronenberg movie telling America they gotta start eating bugs

First trip over the Pennines this year. Managed to actually get a cab in two minutes so I am going to be ridiculously early which means I can leave early

Both goals scored when Wag went to the bathroom. I'll make sure he stays there for the rest of the game.

Do we have to enter the FA Cup every year?

Everyone went to sleep then. What the actual fuck was that? Also how does every keeper have the game of their lives against us.

Explaining that I enjoy wrestling because I prefer the RPG version of sport.

Read another book ffs

The Cardiff Lions do an annual Drag Rugby charity match for children’s charities and it’s as beautiful as you imagined

Looking at people who have arrived after only just leaving twitter

The braising steak is in the slow cooker which means Stefi is going to be on high alert all day

Petition to make Jamie Campbell Bower Fulgrim in any Warhammer live action that features the Primarchs

Before posting dogshit through our collective digital letterbox, ask yourself some questions: - is this vital news that people should be aware of? - is this funny and will bring entertainment value? - am I only doing this because it annoyed/depressed/scared me and I want others to feel the same?

"Every part of me hurts" and other great middle aged wake-up catchphrases

When I see everyone on here watching the same thing

I've eaten too many Smarties

Welcome to everyone joining Bluesky from twitter. Someone will be assigned to you to misunderstand one of your jokes and scream at you shortly.

Sorry but these chicks are simply TOO delicious to wait until Easter

The worst thing about the gym is how good it makes you feel.

I don’t think we should have ceded control quite so quickly and without so much as a fight.

Evergreen

Alternative headline: nature is awful and can teach us nothing.

I've been a little under the weather and the cat has been stuck to me since I went to bed at 1900 yesterday like a beautiful, warm but also slightly overbearing health assistant, if health assistants insisted on sleeping on your bladder.

Playing as the Penguin on Mario Kart World. In my head he's the penguin I threw off the roof in Mario 64, who survived and grew up on the streets eventually becoming a street racer.

Ok

Not sure about the 2026 posting style people sneering at other people whilst never posting anything good themselves. We'll see how it pans out.

We shouldn't have football this late on work nights. I'm going to be too moody to sleep

I always forget that Huw Edwards insisted on broadcasting from the shadows while dressed like a minor Nazi

@thesquareball.net big fan of the start of the show being about how packed the schedule is and there's a lot to chop through, and then about a third of the way through there's a 10 min chat about the Suga Babes

I just saw someone showing how to MAKE Creme Eggs and, babe, they're like 5 for £3. I know you used to be able to get six for a quid and they were bigger but let's not go wild here.

The Ecstacy of Gold is a stone cold banger.

The same way I would 'consider' any terrible job before laughing at my own silly thoughts and carrying on with my life

Someone I manage just said "I always think of when you said we talk too much as a society" and first of all LOL, and second I'm pleased I'm making an impression on the future.

Ghost walk

"we always keep communication channels under review to reach public in most appropriate way possible”

Surgically remove all the joy from your existence and you could cut the time it takes to save for a deposit on a home from three lifetimes to just over two.

And we're back... It's 2am and I already saw one screw-up in the edit but it was after it was uploaded and it's not that big of a deal honestly. Can you find it!? (i'm convincing you to watch the video) youtu.be/xVzeY_vGL4I

Lola 🥰