Realising I haven't prepared for a meeting so freestyle rapping my way through it.

I've just seen 'tongue in cheek' referred to as 'chung and cheek'

Your boyfriend does the 😂 emoji on Anton Stach's Instagram stories* *It's me, I am the boyfriend

Autonomous robot clown roundhouse kicks a small child

father....I crave ᏟᏫᎡN

A 'Festival of Ideas' sounds like a fancy way of describing a 0300 kitchen chat

Rickets jeans

My walking to work aesthetic

A picture that captures your essence

RIP to John Blanche, the best to ever do it. Before Warhammer was even Warhammer he understood what it was: weird, gross, unsettling, maximalist.

I've started shouting the cat for bedtime and she answers like a faithful hound

"The Sin of Empathy" is now an official 40K quote

I need to get Stefi a new bowl that's a little raised and the internet keeps bringing me back to this

How I start to walk through Leeds when Magic Carpet Ride comes on

Sorry everyone, just picking my summer dungarees up after having them taken up 5 inches so obviously the shit weather is back

Only bollards can deliver this much happiness. #WorldBollardAssociation

I don't know what everyone's complaining about. Just go to settings > features > worms, then change the "worms pouring out of my phone" toggle from "yes" to "maybe later"

"Stop pretending you read books for people online" - Stefi

Gentlemen Prefer Blanka (1953)

Heard Steven Spielberg causal say the sentence “every weekend some other directors and I paint models at Guillermo del Toro’s house” on a podcast this morning and it’s all I’ve been able to think about for the rest of the day.

I handed my notice in on a job i don't hate today because a huge opportunity came up and now i feel sick

Ah, takes me back to the Corbyn years.

Spending my lunch break baking buns

There will be signs I'm doing well for myself

Huge if true

Why did I use lawn seed weed and feed in mad zig zags on my lawn so now I have huge zig zags of lush, fast growing grass in some bits and stunted bad grass for the rest of the lawn?!

Picked tic tacs as part of my meal deal because I'm a sociopath

Please, please start putting iced buns on lampposts

Teaching my daughter and her anemic boyfriend how to skip stones

When I say 'get the bags out' this is what I mean

I've been sent a Cat Update

*wakes from coma* BBC Jorts Personality Of The Year

On the tube to Kings Cross and it's filled with parade lads and lasses already

Waking up to an email that my train to London has been cancelled so preparing myself for a sweaty and miserable journey on the next packed train

Look at her on that puff with her feet up, she's just missing a cig dangling out of her mouth

Ladies and gentlemen, the weekend!

Putting midget gems in my desk sweet jar was a mistake

Assume this is the biopic of @danceyfrancy.bsky.social

A thunderstorm just as i'm about to walk my mile to work is it

Getting into a dance battle with my enemies and doing the angriest, slaminest Sailor's Hornpipe this town has ever seen

Someone suggested I should try being less niche.

The two genders

You just know this guy lives for 'gritty reimagining'

I don't like to think I look weird doing my stretches but the cat saw me and puff tailed

All my books must feature a boyfriend

What do they call this in your region of the UK? Here in West Yorkshire we call it a Savoury Ice but back where me mum lives in Staffordshire they’re known as Bean Pops.

Me giving my ice breaker over Teams