🚨 BREAKING The SNP have just blocked our motion, confirming they no longer oppose the Rosebank oil field application. If Rosebank goes ahead it'll be a grave act of environmental vandalism. This is a huge step backwards for Scotland's climate action.

Someone should develop a dial in the corner of your browser going from red to green to red again, letting you know when you’ve posted too much self-promotion, and when you’ve posted too much alienating sad nonsense, with a special extra-sensitive setting for “Approaching the Holidays”.

Oh it’s been a Floor Time kind of day, week, month, year. We should all give ourselves more Floor Time. Give me an adult-sized one of these with a slot for my laptop so I can still send emails during Floor Time.

do you guys know about the jawbone of St Anthony

If Alison Goldfrapp is the Mario to Rosin Murphy's Wario, then who is the Luigi to Charli XCX's Walugi?

Local Man Uncovers Shocking Truth Covered Up by Big Solid: Soup.

Frankenstein’s in vogue just now, have Q stitch him back together and operate him with wire and clothes hangers. Call it, Weekend at Bondies.

Aunt Gladys was the protagonist in a horror-tragedy, not the antagonist in a horror-comedy, you'll not convince me otherwise no matter how naked and wrinkly she gets.

me sowing: writing the most indulgent, unhinged book I could imagine. me reaping: having to explain my book to a normal person.

I hope getting design work through Reedsy is easier than setting up a profile with them. Follow instructions, get told new instructions, follow instructions, get told new instructions that contradict the previous instructions, follow *those* instructions… Which is, of course, the design process.

Once again baffled at Glasgow’s decision to turn all crossing lights 90 degrees, so now at a crossroads, the light directly within a pedestrian’s line of sight, which actually refers to the crossing *perpendicular* to them, can show green, prompting the pedestrian to step into active traffic.

I deleted my post that said exactly this because I thought it sounded paranoid, but now someone else has said it too, I’m thinking it’s not that paranoid really. With the caveat that the one funny one was the one about the plums in the icebox. But that’s mostly because the poem’s funny.

Nothing like a night of spiralling over finances to get the ol’ brain working out household budgets at 5am, followed by a quick tarot of the Hierophant (play it safe), 3 of Wands (stay the course), and the five of fucking pentacles (wrack!ruin! destitution!) Love that for me.

Looking forward to when the final episode airs and everyone simultaneously posts “Stranger Things has happened”.

The founder of the firm at the centre of the Panama Papers - a global billionaires money laundering scandal, which resulted in the President of Iceland resigning, and the assassination of an investigative journalist - died a during a trail in which a Panamanian court acquitted all 28 people charged.

Now social media has killed off flyering for events, but not postering, I think gig promotion, plagued by shrinking wall space as dive bars become bistros, is missing a trick on ditching the standard A3 portrait poster for an A4 landscape. Opinions like this are why you follow me, right? RIGHT?

The exponential growth of scam emails from fake book marketers and people posing as famous writers makes something depressingly clear. The real money is to be made, not by trying to sell books to readers, but by exploiting would-be authors.

Going against the tide here to say, I prefer Traitors with regular people. The stakes are higher, the gameplay more paranoid, and if someone spends two weeks stabbing their pals in the back they don’t drink champagne with them under fireworks telling them they love them.

Finance departments never forget to process your invoice when you’re feeling flush, do they?

I think I'm done logging into things

Have celebrated Mamdani’s win with a massive back spasm while picking up a cup of coffee, thanks a lot, leftists!!!

Oh no, poor Michelle Visage!

They should invent a feeling the fear and doing it anyway that doesn’t include feeling the fear.

I'm currently available for everything book design, from covers to typesetting to ePubs - with narry a single speck of AI included. Check out the rest of my work and give me a shout over at www.ryanvance.co.uk!

I do not know how your lad from Les Savy Fav isn’t dead. If I’m 50 and throwing myself around a concrete floor like he did tonight, I’ll be happy.

Look, I can either stay in on All Hallow’s Eve lamenting that anyone with an honest bone in their body has been estranged from financial self-sufficiency, or I can have a cocktail. (Don Q Cristal rum infused with chamomile tea, apricot liqueur, pineapple, lime, rhum clement blanco & saline, fyi 💅 )

Marco Fusinato Mass Black Implosion (Symphonie Monoton-Silence, Yves Klein), 2009 ...from each original note to “an arbitrarily chosen point“

Apologies for the self-promo post, now pinned, but this year's Halloween scare is my bank balance.

I'm currently available for everything book design, from covers to typesetting to ePubs - with narry a single speck of AI included. Check out the rest of my work and give me a shout over at www.ryanvance.co.uk!

📷 Ottoman Handwritten Books and Pages, 19th Century #OldPages

When in the woods, best beware of dead man's fingers lurking there. Reaching up above the ground, a creepy fungi to be found. Happy Halloween everyone. Photo: Sheringham Park by Rob Coleman

thinking about potato house this halloween

Really wishing I’d got my “what if a greenwashed authoritarian party took power just before climate collapse destroyed society” book published five years ago and not, perhaps, sometime in the next few years when we find out whether Reform or Greens take Westminster.

She ozy on my mandias til I despair

Ozymandias is coming, And nobody is jumping, New York to San Francisco, Nobody’s heard of him, no. A plinth with faded etching, And endless wastes a-stretching, So if you are my forebear, Look on my works and despair!

[raises eyebrow in Northern Irish]

Hibagon is the mascot for the town of Saijo in Shobara City and is based on an ape-like cryptid spotted in the mountains there in the 70s.

I know professions die out and new tech rises every ding dong day, but it's so disheartening, maddening, depressing seeing design gigs which would otherwise have landed at my door, now go to Slop Shitter MK 3.5

this headline hums with ancient autumnal dread

A church so broad the pews likely stretch all the way to 55 Tufton Street.

if you turn away every time you feel discomfort, your world will contract and contract and contract until you are incapable of connecting to others or imagining other ways of existing in the world

Community Potluck 101: if you find yourself in the front half of the meal queue, plate up less than you desire; if you find yourself in the back half, commit to long-term memory the faces and serving sizes of everyone in the front half, so you know who to Soylent Green come the revolution.

this very serious and not a joke party doesn't want people seeing that they can't decide yet whether you be for against transphobia

This is how you blurb

Clearing off my Desktop and look at this picture I made of Judy Garland reading Fierce Salvage, I think you'll agree it's seamless

Though it may be a travesty of taste, politics and history, I am *thoroughly* enjoying the heavy symbolism of Trump demolishing the White House. Hope he does Rushmore next. Fracks his name into Yellowstone. Launches satellites to project his face onto the Grand Canyon and kicks off a debris cascade.