today four different orange marches have disrupted my plans and I’m dreaming of a 3D printed drone carrying a super soaker filled with piss

Brave of our local Co-op to be playing a song on the radio where the chorus is ENJOY YOUR LIFE ENJOY YOUR LIFE when the only thing in their fridge is one (one) packet of sweet chilli stir fry sauce.

job application gripe: why do the forms which everyone forces you to retype your CV into only ever show a maximum of three lines of text, if you've given me 1000 characters but only allowed me to see ~50 at any given time, the chances of me sending you a garbled mess skyrocket, why are you like this

I will go to my grave forever mad that Cynthia Rothrock never became a mainstream action megastar while so many mediocre dudes (coughseagalcough) got big studio movies.

Unpopular opinion: more politicians should show the conviction not to bow under party pressure to lie about how horrible they are.

Stop-motion characters move at a relative speed so slow compared to their creators, they would only become aware of us if we stood still for a terribly long time, and even then only as a brief flicker of a apparition laid upon their consciousness, so anyway I now believe in aliens and/or god.

why would you want to live here if there’s nothing but housing?

A Murakami short story translated an emotive reference to The Terminator’s iconic “I’ll be back,” as “I shall return,” and, boobily breasting women aside, it nuked my faith in the translator’s ability to sufficiently convey the author’s nuanced intersections of American and Japanese culture.

Head of the EHRC really did just say Phrenology will help solve the issue of transgenders in society

"The market has read over your effort to assert your humanity and your right to exist, and it has a lot of notes asking about your target demographic and how much market share they should expect out of it." As usual, Mo knocks it out of the park. This is where we're at, and only DIY will save us.

briefly remembered publishing freelancer job site reedsy turned me down from their marketplace because I, a freelancer, don't have in-house experience at a renowned traditional publisher, haven't worked with a bestselling author, and haven't won any awards, and got vibratingly angry all over again

The only thing more satisfying than downloading and installing a 500-strong free font database is methodically deleting roughly 400 of the fonts because they're all garbage and the 100 you keep are for the possibility you might need something suitable for a kids birthday on the theme of barbed wire.

Schism? I barely know 'im!

Garden update: my new next door neighbour smokes out their window then throws the butts into their garden which is just bedrock so it’s a very visible mess and increasingly stinky and if they were the sort to care about first impressions or littering or other people then we wouldn’t be here, help.

What a force for good 404 Ink was, is, will continue to be! Laura and Heather have been so generous to Scotland’s literary scene - the Queer Words project, and so many other weird and wonderful treasures, simply would not have existed without their support. And what a classy exit! A rare treat!

Quick, someone ask Andy Burnham what he thinks can be done to improve Northern Ireland, maybe he’ll suggest an arms decommissioning scheme, inviting Clinton to negotiate with paramilitaries, or even partitioning it from the rest of the island.

Do NOT talk to me about what London heat and hard water has done to my hair.

I am in London for a wedding dinner and, because when I was packing two weeks ago, the weather was normal and not insane, thought it’d be a perfect opportunity to debut my new bottle green trousers which are [checks label] 80% polyester.

Good news, everybody! As of today I’m *substantially* more available to employ as a designer, writer or editor! Not sure where to start with any bookish/publishing/print projects? I am, very much, and quite urgently, your guy!

Me: Okay, there's been a thunderstorm, the heatwave should be over now. (New health bar appears) (The sun is now named 'Sol, Starflame of Regret') (Objectively the greatest piece of classical music ever recorded starts playing).

I know this is not the biggest concern going these days, but it stresses me out that basically every artist/writer/critic is now expected to create their own tiny empire instead of getting paid by any existing entity to perform a job they've worked to get good at!!!!

You’ve Drove In your last At The

Good news, everybody! As of today I’m *substantially* more available to employ as a designer, writer or editor! Not sure where to start with any bookish/publishing/print projects? I am, very much, and quite urgently, your guy!

I don’t think it’s psychologically healthy to keep telling each other the exact temperature every ten minutes. I feel like a cat that isn’t allowed to look away from a laser pointer.

hello everyone i am working on a big piece for guardian about the CURRENT STATE OF MUSIC ZINES!!!! i have many already but i want to get as many as poss from FAR AND WIDE in uk so pls either fill out the form here or email me directly (email on my website in bio) www.theguardian.com/music/2026/j...

Ice lolly discourse?

To be fair, scheduling this for midsummer was perhaps a blunder that could have been avoided.

"what was starmer's one big blunder," "why do we keep firing pms," shut the fuck up. We are living in a reality that the political class *refuse to acknowledge* successive governments keep failing because they just don't fucking live here

Wonky books are back for the last time! Just £3 for some of our books that have been a little battered through the distribution process but still have some life left in them yet! www.404ink.com/wonky-books

Happy pride, Starmer! Never cross the queers.

Children’s picture book character Pandorobou (the Bread Thief) is a a mouse who disguises himself as a loaf of bread to sneak into bakeries and steal fresh bread.

God forbid adults who work with kids have portfolio careers.

I 100% understand the average age of the B-52s audience at the millennium dome last night meant my 40 y/o arse was one of the more mobile, so dancing not likely, but more than 2/3 of those motherfuckers didn’t even clap. Just watched silent like waiting for credits to roll on a Netflix special.

Favourite detail of the Serpentine gallery Hockney exhibition of digital paintings of the French countryside? This single unripe orange.

MUPPET ROALD DAHL’s THE WITCHES, with Miss Piggy playing the Grand High Witch, Kermit playing the hotel maître d', and Rizzo playing The Boy.

Hot take: the aesthetic pleasure of a cocktail is 50% of the pleasure of a cocktail and so should last for the full duration of the cocktail and for this reason cream heads, which inevitably become curdly in the glass like when fresh cum meets hot water, should be banned from cocktails.

Yesterday I saw someone spend four hours on a train to London begging ChatGPT to make a cartoon person point slightly higher not too high point lower, and I wish they knew a good illustrator would likely have that arm on a separate layer and you wouldn’t have to change the whole thing each time.

I’m not sure people do also ask this, Google.

wake up babe new pride flag just dropped

That’s the out-of-office on.

For a very reasonable sum I’ll write a goatse/tubgirl/shitting dicknipples extended cinematic universe.

I’ve signed up to a focus group on AI usage, once the dates were locked in, they informed us it’s specifically to help an tech company understand the market for “companionship” AIs - or as I’ll be calling them throughout, imaginary friends. The more embarrassing we can make this tech, the better.

On Friendster I amassed a group of forty nine other Ryan Vances - all of whom were in the US - introduced them to each other, then promptly bounced. What they did with that connection was up to them and none of my business.

Everything must go! Make sure there's nothing left on 404 Ink's shelves but dust and memories!

Every industry is making billions of dollars and it's workers are getting paid barely above minimum wage and then fired, and all the money just disappears into a hole forever. It's gone. The rich will never spend it. It's number go up. This will destroy the economy

Here’s some Orlando book launches and events that are coming up! La Belle Adventure, Edinburgh, Saturday June 20th from 4-6pm with a talk chaired by @tomhumberstone.com - free and you can book here: my.weezevent.com/highlight-la...

Calvin and Hobbes strip that says it quite well;

made the decision to start saving Good Trailcams images as desktops and it's improved my life immensely

MEGA SALE: ALL books are £5 on our website until we close the shop on Tuesday 30th June (or we sell out!). Help us have a great send off: www.404ink.com/shop

Tried to make a pitcher plant inspired hanging pot and made… this. Not beating the coprophilia accusations any time soon.