Anything that comes off my to-do list disappears from my sense of what I’ve done in a day, in a baby-brained object impermanence sort of way, so I also keep a have-done list, so that when I start to feel burnt out, there’s some objective record of why. Anyway, if you need me today, no you don’t.

Heartbreaking: it's been so long since I've been to an indie disco, that claims it plays bangers from every era since the 50s, but actually it's just someone who could be your da playing the same top fifty 70s punk songs, that Another Girl Another Planet came on the radio, and I actually enjoyed it

Good news! I dunno, I just want good news today. If any smartarses know why this isn't actually a good thing, keep it to your damn self. www.livescience.com/planet-earth...

I might have closed my response by telling them the proposals made me ashamed to be represented by this government and that they should grow up. If rational emotionless logical responses could have halted this before now, they already would have, might as well try to make them feel shame.

Gym talk: I love the sled but I’m not sure if at 40 the sled loves me. No better feeling than shunting 140kg ten times over ten meters, no worse feeling than getting home realising you’ve essentially put your entire spine in a hydraulic compressor. Heartbreaking.

If Glasgow City Council wanted to be a job creator, they could appoint Bin Watchers by all their new on-street recycling points to make sure everyone stops putting (for example) fucken polystyrene in the paper bin and a 2 litre bag of banana skins (????) in the tins and plastic.

Anyone answering the UK consultation on settlement, bear in mind the first question - how clear are the proposed changes? - will be used to discredit your answers if you say they are unclear, even though they *are* unclear, because they'll use that as evidence you didn't understand them.

anyway the consultation shuts tomorrow, one minute to midnight UK time: www.gov.uk/government/c... Amnesty have some good guidance here. Go on: media.amnesty.org.uk/documents/Am...

Genuinely, if you live in the UK you should so the consultation just to find out some of the unbelievable details of what's being proposed. Even with their spin and obfuscation it's shocking

Apparently it’s a constitutional principle that if I order lasagne at an Italian restaurant and the chef changes his mind halfway through preparing the meal and drags me next door to a curry house then I have to choke down a curry because I ordered a curry.

There have been many pop songs about how you gotta work hard to get that bugatti and yet some days you wonder if perhaps there are structural issues at work that enable pop stars to achieve bugattis with significantly less work than you, much to think about.

I’ll take back everything bad I’ve said about AI if someone can invent one that knows the correct folder I want to export design files to every single time

medieval peasants: what grand works do ye bring of the future, lady me, holding up phone: so it’s a soulslike extraction friendslop with twitch integration and collector elements peasant: and doth it bring joy ? me: oh definitely, for like 4 hours yeah

I’m catching up on the men’s figure skating and sorry, just because the USA can backflip doesn’t erase the fact he nearly faceplanted his first jump, give it to the Italian stud who nearly brought me to tears* with his retirement performance. *using the Interstellar soundtrack should be cheating

"hybrid / flexible – regular [location] presence required" well it's not that flexible then is it sorry sorry job hunting is wearing me down sorry IT'S NOT FUCKING FLEXIBLE IF YOU HAVE TO BE THERE ALL THE TIME sorry sorry BUT I MEAN

Deeply sus of how close the British Cricket Community has been placed to Irish Progressive Media, but I suppose being caught in the middle does encapsulate my Irish-British dual nationality. Do agree with how close storm chasers are to British Creative & Cultural Professionals, though.

If only there was some sort of story or fable about a race in which one participant was fast and lazy and the other was slow and diligent that might shed some light on the subject.

DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression. CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school? DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town. C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name? DR: Now look

The Vengabus is sacred And everybody’s naked Mecca to the Vatican The water’s fine, come on in The glass that’s stained is humbling And the jacuzzi’s bubbling So if you like to exalt Drive the bus-bath-church gestalt

It happened to me: I accidentally started an unspoken rivalry at my friend’s birthday by dancing more enthusiastically to LCD Soundsystem than the one other LCD Soundsystem superfan in attendance.

One of only two tweets I wish I could’ve preserved. Something like 2M likes, 400k retweets. Zero brand partnerships though, which seemed like a real missed opportunity for a candle manufacturer, imo.

I agree with this, actually. If you’re really good at something, people do tend to ask you to do it instead of asking someone that’s bad at it.

In 2026, in Scotland alone, we're losing @404ink.bsky.social, @quindriepress.com & @hauntpublishing.bsky.social. I really want to see new nimble presses rise from the ashes but it's difficult to recommend starting a company in this market.

Currently applying for in-house design jobs while looking for freelance design jobs while working a freelance design job that’s treated like an in-house design job even though I did not get the in-house design job despite it already being my freelance design job, brain is fried, help.

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Went on another winter walk, terribly out-of-focus photos were only salvageable with a lot of tinkering in monochrome, hey-ho.

I have resigned myself, politically, to feeling like a village idiot hearing rumours of the mad king beheading his healthiest horses and feeding their brains to his least-favourite courtiers; Starmer can go, he can cling on, it is no longer business of mine, I have jigs to caper and prats to fall.

what if instead of every writer having an individual premium substack we had lots of writers working together for one publication. you might have editors, too, and designers. and only one regular fee, instead of seventy billion! wonder who will invent that. sounds like it’d be good

Just a wee shout-out to my Minolta Hi-Matic SD which I seem to have given away to a charity shop or something even though it seemed to always take perfect pictures, now replaced by a Praktica MTL 5 which, ostensibly technically more advance, seems to take everything out of focus.

if anyone has any goss on how the nation’s transphobes are coping with the shocking reveal that a billionaire pedophile ring has been pulling their strings this last ten years, I’m ready to listen

Wynnonie Harris’ “Keep on Churnin’ (Till the Butter Comes)” was the WAP of its day. youtu.be/d8swz7WFgrU?...

Someone should tell February that January is over.

God gives his most numerous and ruinous opinions to his most incorrigible blabbermouths.

Have had enough already, but it is an interesting study of human nature.

share to mortally wound a scottish person

this is my Tom Holland Umbrella

Beginning to suspect I’m the only millennial at my new gym, ama.

I’ve yet to have a tiramisu that makes me think it was worth the trouble of making a tiramisu, and strongly believe people just like the little destruction of a crème brûlée but don’t actually care for the dessert itself, they’d be as happy tearing a piece of paper in two.

Deeply resent having to think about a meerkat’s genitalia just to get affordable home insurance.

The Venn diagram of men who vape indoors at gigs, men who talk facing away from the stage from the first song to the last, and men who don’t know how to hold their farts in public, isn’t a perfect circle, but it’s close.

Well, fuck.

Should I be looking for work? Yes. Did I also just do a Hades 1 run in under 11m? Also yes.

2026 has kicked off with not a small degree of financial urgency, so if there was ever a time for you - yes, YOU - to employ me to design you a book, good news! Now is that time, and I am your guy. www.ryanvance.co.uk

january 30th: a partially formed mr. blobby stands by the perimeter fence and screams for thirty seconds before disappearing

Rewatching Alias as an adult, it’s actually very clear Sydney Bristow is laughably bad at her job. Stop sending her on missions! If she doesn’t get caught, it turns out she’s fated to make somebody’s head explode if she visits Peru or something! Just let her go drive a forklift or flip burgers.

If you’re going to make a cinematic universe out of a sprawling network of musical connections, forget The Beatles, get Spencer Krug and the rest of Wolf Parade on the phone, you’d have origin stories and spin-offs for three decades at least.

It isn't cute, it isn't funny, freelance designers only get the urge to design year-long wall calendars as a sign of extreme distress.

Hit da bricks! You can just leave any bad situation! There *will* be consequences, especially if you hit da bricks inconsiderately, but you can almost always weather the outcome, and you will feel instantly better for having trusted your gut.

Feel like I'm going slightly mad, post-Traitors, with all these columns and thinkpieces reframing Rachel and Stephen's win as a victory for loyalty and common decency in a time of uncertainty and peril. They were the Traitors! Them sticking together was impressive but they were the baddies!!!