"don't give up"

Iconic performer Leigh Bowery in a Christmas card photo, c. 1986

Classy cat

west hampstead istg

Apparently we are having a chicken for Christmas Day, a chicken that costs THIRTY ACTUAL POUNDS 😲

My mate's 80ish yr old aunt on the Merlin app: "full of shit, it can't identify the birds out on the balcony but it won't admit it"

that feeling when you're a guest and you hear activity so you reluctantly get up but it turns out what you heard was next door's kids so you make yourself a cup of tea on tiptoes in case you wake everyone else up and they feel obliged to get up because you're up before you can sneak back into bed

Rare footage of St Paul’s Cathedral testing its giant flamethrower

Been relegated to the tiny bedroom by my pal's mum & aunt, this pillow feels like a bad omen

Doing my usual have I got enough snacks for my 1.5hrs train journey panic

Tiny Tim implies the existence of Enormous Eric

most cop movies could just as easily have been called The Insane Bastard

Corresponding with Amberley books about various heritage transport books I'm buying for my son for Christmas. Gmail suggesting "boobs" here is why we can't trust AI to run the world.

the waterboys should either sing about water or call themselves the moonboys but they need to choose

not an expert but my gut says yes of course we should be in a custard union with europe

Spooner's career as a continuity announcer was short-lived

i'm in a helicopter and in ten minutes i'll be throwing thirty grand's worth of quality street all over rural berkshire happy christmas a few are very poisoned that's just something i like to do

worried i misread the vibe getting my girlfriend foxhunting vouchers for christmas

just nine more days til christmas

I'm sorry but I still refuse to believe this man is only seven

Delighted to see how well it's going ☺

Erik Satie predicts:

me (to your parents): honestly i'm just a phase, don't lose any sleep about it

why doesn't the moon come to us for once

the existence of sex in the city implies the existence of uncomfortable silences in the village

[me, the real hero]: you guys are the real heroes

mad that putin's favourite song is love shack

radio phone-ins always make me feel so much better than everyone else

richard madeley just acquired creative control of a touch of frost

Christmas is easily my favourite thing, after that I'd probably say showjumping

a starling can live for up to 900 years but you won't find a word about it on the BB so-called C

408 years today since you stumbled blinking out of your cocoon and devoured that family in the woods i love you baby

after twelve years of dignified silence as one of the so-called Pigbucket Eight, I'm finally ready to tell my story

just two more years until luke littler is born

23 years ago today, I drew the world's first triangle.

got three years off my sentence after the judge heard my art teacher looked just like captain caveman

let your kids eat all the sugary crap they want, in a few years we'll all be fighting over rat's legs anyway

sure *now* it's just age verification but ffwd two years and they'll have nanobots up your arse beaming your pastry data back to greggs hq 24/7

"where do you see yourself in ten years' time?"

my conspiracy theorist mate was telling me that we had thousands of years of global zeppelin travel that THEY have erased from history adding "why do you think train stations are so big"

every pic of jd vance looks taken at the exact moment he realises he's a fucking moron

I'm JD Vance and I demand the UK lets Andrea Leadsom present Antiques Roadshow

merry christmas btw just in case i ascend to my pure light form between now & then

is that a hat or his actual barnet, either way it's a statement, perhaps that's why they're fighting

the order in which santa says all the reindeer's names is the order in which he would kill and eat them if he had to eg a crash landing somewhere remote

he's punching a kid he's stealing his scarf he's picked up a rat and he's bit it in half santa claus has lost his mind santa claus has lost his mind san-ta claus has lost his mi-ind

dear keanu reeves three weeks ago i sent you a list of people that annoy me today i saw one of them in iceland are you going to kill them or not

dear keanu reeves i got your address from the dark web i thought you might like this dvd of me doing karate in my bedroom

[on a date]: hahahahaha that's so funny let me tell keanu reeves that, he's my friend i'll text him now oh cool he said thumbs up