They need to use a different word to “sacked” when MPs are moved on - sacked implies they live in the same world as the majority of us.

Just got a 2am black cab and it was cheaper than an uber and we didn’t have to give each other a star rating. Five stars.

I love the ‘closing time at a small town fairground’ vibe of the extended celebrations after a World Cup final. The shitty music, the wandering around a field. I don’t have any notes for how it could be improved. It’s deliciously bleak.

¡Viva España!, music and lyrics Timmy Mallet, 1988

Going to start a company that makes all the dummy luggage that doesn’t belong to anyone that they stick on the conveyer belt first for the best part of an hour because it seems to be very fucking popular

0-0 at full-time, 0-0 after extra time and then if every single player could miss every single penalty that would be a real final to remember

in the Greek Orthodox seminary

It’s so funny that you get the same automated “Your adventure starts soon!!!” emails for return flights when you’re halfway through a trip. It’s like, that’s *not* an adventure. If you insist on the histrionics you can call it a triumphal return

[sees someone reading a book.] Ah, doom flipping

Huge new class action lawsuit filed by big publishers and authors against Google this week over AI training. It accuses Google of taking millions of books / articles provided to them for use only in Google Books, Google Play Books, and Google Scholar, and secretly using them to train LLMs. 🧵 1/4

I think about this so often! IF I make it to old age and infirmity (which is only 2 or 3 decades, which I know will go fast) will they STILL be playing WW2 music in the care homes?

The 2 most recent novels I've read are BLACK BAG by my fab colleague @lukekennard.bsky.social and WOODWORKING by not-colleague @emilystjams.bsky.social. While VERY different, they're both about how gender is beautiful and weird and can make people crazy. Strong rec for both!

The World Cup always feels so lonely by this point. It’s like a lesson in how you don’t really want what you think you want.

Aw, to help me stay on track paying your upper management jerkoffs their millions of pounds in annual bonuses, thank you *so* much, British Gas!

🎵 if there’s a problem with your account yo I’ll solve it / approve the sign in request while— / oh wait no we’re still having a problem verifying your identity / it’s probably a conflict between your personal and work account on the same application / have you tried clearing your cache

I will never accept ITV. Might just read the Guardian’s minute by minute.

NEW PODCAST 🎧: In an audacious new take on the campus novel Luke Kennard’s protagonist, a penniless out-of-work actor, takes on a job unlike any other. He is hired to sit silently at the back of a lecture hall, concealed within a black bag. Listen here: www.londonreviewbookshop.co.uk/podcasts-vid...

Culturally I think we’ve lost a phalanx of left bro douchebags who mocked anything semi-intellectual that became popular - I don’t miss them, but they were quite good at stopping us getting too enthusiastic about anything; they created a levelling climate of fear

'The decision to slash funding for creative subjects comes despite the field being named as one of the UK’s “highest potential sectors” in the government’s industrial strategy.' 1/2

Imagine if ITV was allowed to show tennis.

Ligatures? In this œconomy?!

More like BOREtugal. And BOREpain.

Bloody ‘ell

Unfortunately I, A Slightly Podgy Middle-Aged Man, Just Tried to Run Up a Hill And It Looks Like England Will Really Struggle

Holly Pester's novel The Lodgers is, for me, among the most interesting contemporary writing and though it was noted, still needs to find new readers. I am looking forward to her new poems. #poetry

It was just a matter of time. The psychology people caught up with me. #booksky www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/crea... @psychologytoday.com

YOU: I didn’t really find the main character relatable and the plot kind of lost its way towards the end. ST PETER: Uh huh.

One day, I'll decide to become main character and post my chaos beast "As we all know, it is unethical to give an app driver less than 5.0. Similarly, it's unethical to give any GoodReads Score less than a 5.0" take

You should never be discouraged as an author if your GoodReads rating is 2.9⭐️ as that is ultimately the rating for life itself.

🍳 CAFÉS by Holly Pester publishes today Head to the link below to read an excerpt and order a copy of the book. fitzcarraldoeditions.com/books/cafes/...

I kind of admire the horrible honesty of think-pieces like this, but I’d personally give either of my sons both kidneys, survive as a brain in a jar and not care if they only sent a Christmas card every third year

Too tired for fiction so I’m working on my Back to the Future reboot screenplay where someone goes back in time to prevent the original Back to the Future films getting made and only someone else can stop them.

Since the heat wave I’ve not done any exercise and I can’t read.

[edelweiss] 🎵 ITV / yoooou are shit / I don’t think this is HD / advert breaks / less competent commentators / it’s an utter abuse of anti-monopoly law that all the matches aren’t on the BBC

Need a wealthy benefactor who can bankroll my lavish lifestyle of buying groceries once a week

As a fan of cheddars so mature they cause permanent damage to your palate I never expected Jarlsberg to become such a key part of my life

Whenever the train station gates are open I always expect them to clap me right on the belly as I go through and maybe crush me to death in a “not so fast, buddy!” kind of way

Something I’ve taken into my mid-40s is that I don’t expect anything to work, in any context or capacity, ever, and I’m *shocked* if it does, and I think it goes back to formative memories…

It’s down to a perfectly normal temperature today but is anyone else’s house just sweltering with retained heat? Are we supposed to rub the walls down with ice or something?

Starting a petition for ITV to get NO World Cup matches because they’re rubbish and can’t even do the nice little colour coded team name thing

In every sector, every profession, people like this are on six figure salaries. Why?

UK authors! If you haven't done it yet (I haven't) it's time to update your PLR account! The deadline is June 30th!

Just finished Black Bag by @lukekennard.bsky.social and flippin loved it- i may have missed this mornings high tide swim to finish it but i reckon it was well worth it. I don't have time to faff about doing pics but def look it up everyone!

However consistently bad the climate gets I don’t ever want to hear anyone saying the words “wet bulb” ever again. It’s a disgusting, abject phrase on every level and you’re terrible at even explaining what it means.

I too often rely on golden age Simpsons when I have to write an essay

"... educational questions survive only as shadows cast by financial projections." 🔥

Yes, hello, I’m looking for a shop called Small Lightweight Towels or Small Towels For Luke or something that sells something a bit like a drying up cloth but for my brow

Turns out you CAN get swimmer’s ear without swimming if enough sweat runs into your ears!

Togas! Togas are back! Togas are the outfit of choice