Carrying a bag of salt and vinegar crisps under my arm as delicately as a cat picking up a kitten

Apparently this is the worst weather we’ve had since 1908 so we have every right to feel gloomy about it

This is one of the best things I’ve seen on Thiel (by Phil D’Amico) youtu.be/sAeTKyY3LB4?...

if russia or china were doing this we’d call it foreign interference

The behavior of our big beautiful billionaires over the past several decades is psychologically what I can only describe as "Crying out for consequences." They can't stop themselves and deep down they need to be stopped. They need it as much as we do

My inaugural lecture from November is live! If you want to listen to me talk about poetry and the Book of Jonah for the best part of an hour! www.birmingham.ac.uk/news/2026/po...

Rest in peace, sweet John Virgo. The only other celebrity passing to hit me this hard was Mimi Parker from Low.

YOU CAN NOW PRE-ORDER MY BOOK 💚🪱 also, look at my babygirl worm on the cover 😭

This is correct, and so prompts questions about why our media, particularly the BBC, would continually participate in and perpetuate the fiction of cycling 'legitimate insurgencies' between and among an identical group of political and business insiders. What is the function of this, and for whom?

The main plot of the Apple+ show ‘Shrinking’ is that one of the characters was killed by a drunk driver before the start of the story, and in *every* episode the main characters consistently and conspicuously drink and drive, it’s a kind of solipsistic masterpiece

I love it when you can smell incredibly strong weed at 7am. Someone waking up and immediately being like, ‘Oh no, fuck this’

random Yale law professor: jeffrey you naughty dog.... will i be seeing you at this year's Skull Size Forum or will you be busy with your hobbies ;) JE: we must invent trans phobia,,

This is very good, and also every single other fucking country in the world should be doing it too, and yesterday. www.theguardian.com/technology/2...

So grimly amusing to hear people like that Palantir shithead still using words like “disruptors”

It kind of tracks that 67% of entrepreneurs exhibit a level of hubris that would enrage the gods

My kids have been re-playing Super Mario Odyssey, which they are very nostalgic about (which is disturbing for me because I still see it as a fairly recent game). It includes creating some great desktop backgrounds such as ‘Business Mario with a little bird in a top hat on his nose’

Oh wow, I remember complaining about this a couple of years ago. Unbelievable number of people determined to start the awful trend of queuing at a *bar* like they don’t even understand the 2nd dimension. www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

🗣️ WINTER EVENTS 2026 AT VOCE BOOKS 📚 We are delighted to welcome award-winning writer @lukekennard.bsky.social to Voce for a publication day event with @keirangoddard.bsky.social discussing his new off-kilter campus novel BLACK BAG 🎟️ Please book your ticket via Eventbrite, link in bio

thank you for your attention to this matter

I for one am happy that visa free travel to China will make things much easier for JH Prynne

If you give infinite monkeys infinite paint brushes and canvases in infinite Jardins des Plantes

I think the fact that it’s AI being forced on us is sort of arbitrary. If the wealthiest people in the world had catastrophically over-invested in saltwater taffy our government would have spent £4million promoting saltwater taffy.

AI is like Brexit, in that the people pushing it don’t point to concrete benefits. Just the potential. The mystery box. Something they imagine makes things better. At the same time they ignore the downsides. The reality. Believing that negativity about mystery box changes its content.

It just seems naive, to me, at a time when the US is gleefully burning every bridge, ripping through international law and norms, and declaring its proud return to a sadistic world ordered by brute force and domination, for people to say, "But don't you see? We rely on them for security."

Shame on ‘Labour’. Teaching workers how to make themselves dispensable. Lining the pockets of oligarchs. And that’s not even mentioning the environmental cost or plagiarism. Reprehensible on every level

Across my entire life I have a 55% success rate on predicting coin flips. This skill has made me one of the most sought-after millionaires in the world.

There is money for "education" if and only if that money is being directly funneled to corporations. Anything involving actual learning, however, well there's no magic money tree

Just get over yourself and have your snack on a big collective table what can go wrong? Well I felt like I was eating on stage at the hippodrome and somehow got ketchup in my coffee

i genuinely think if you think protesters are paid to be at a protest you are potentially the lowest rung of the ladder of intelligence. you just won’t make it

Beautiful poem by Gregory Betts

All of that immensely popular YouTube shit like ‘Diary of a CEO’ that we somehow weren’t supposed to notice skews entirely right / MRA - it’s like *soft* red-pill. The chewable. Red gummie.

1 million people: this thing happened 1 right wing nutter: no it didn't BBC journalist paid £350k a year: with varying reports, it is impossible to tell what's happened

And he didn’t. He tried to help a woman who’d just been assaulted. There was nothing rash, stupid, or radical about what he did. He showed kindness. And they killed him for it.

Fucking *HELL*, BBC. Worse than useless. Shameful, complicit.

The BBC coverage is absolutely terrible. It leads on "sharply contested narratives" It has a dramatic skew to the US government It has posted the video but has failed to report on what it shows: it shows the US govt account is untrue

The point is to evacuate language totally of its ability to hold meaning & thus to eviscerate our ability to make meaning together. It's not supposed to convince you but to silence us AND stop us listening to each other. In BAD LANGUAGE I call this anti-semism, an enmity to meaning-making.

Given that they have the complete protection of their lying, fascist regime why is it even a big deal for the agents that people are trying to film/document their atrocities?

In addition to this: your ideal story will not be fun, or good, or engaging. No one actually wants perfect, we want things with edges and weird bits and interesting surprises and choices we wouldn't have made but someone else did for actual reasons. 'ideal' is fake and a lie

Non-celebrity Traitors is so much more painful because they could all really, really use the money. Although I maintain if I was a celebrity I’d have numerous addictions, overheads and debts.

They want you to feel hopeless and believe that nothing can improve.

I phrased a joke about being annoyed about multi-factor authentication for everything but the stuff you actually want to be secure so badly I made it sound like something terrible had happened to me. My apologies!

Then I Woke Up and it Was Allllll a Dream.

🎵 you’ve been closed by / you’ve been shut by / the task manager

Oh, a complete design overhaul of SpeedGrader part-way through a demanding assessment period! How LOVELY!

Related: because they’re called Little Hans and Clever Hans a part of my mind always thinks that Freud psychoanalysed a horse who could count.

I don’t know why ‘one-trick pony’ is supposed to be disparaging when I’ve never seen a horse do any tricks at all

So aside from tipping tens of millions of people into misery and penury, they also encouraged people to rise up against their horrible government then cheered them on while they got mowed down. And are bragging about this openly, on camera.

I had a really good talk with Rafael Frumkin (superb Illinois-based novelist and critic) about Black Bag for their interview series on Cosmic Cheeto. Rafael said some insightful things and I pretty much didn’t, so you can skip my parts.

I hate all the ‘body language expert’ / reading micro-facial movements stuff. My face does all kinds of crazy things all the time! Sometimes my smile hurts!