You have no idea what's going on and I like that

Stick around, I can disappoint you so much more

I'll cancel plans just to be alone.

I’m in a competition with my neighbor to see who can leave their lights up the longest

Like AND repost, pussies

House hunting in a sleepy little town where I don't know a single soul might fix me

If your post is more than two lines, I’ve stopped reading

I wanted to like your post but there were so many words

Blah blah delete

If they don't appreciate you. Ghost 'em.

Being awake is the worst

idea: creating an alt that constantly tells me nice things

Life fucks you and aftercare is death

oh my god is this day over yet

Pushing me over the edge might fix me.

I should eat something. Or someone. Wait. Never mind.

Shaved your initials in my pubes. Please respond

Follow the Blerr to get more stupider

Blocked by another who tf are you

this marriage could have been an email

feelin’ extra what the actual fuckish today

Not today kitten, mommy is reading her new diagnosis

Glitchsky. Friday vibe.

No, I’m not going live. Nobody wants to see that.

labeling all of my mistakes as willful

I hope you don’t shit yourself today

Mariah Carey just came on and I yelled “banger” then immediately ran into traffic

I just blocked everyone that’s better looking than me

It’s only 8am and I’m ready to lay tf down

Your details are worth holding on to

“gimme that nut” -horny squirrel

Oh look! Another unattainable goal I didn't need to know about...

I’m mean because I care

[me, trying to sell my friend on a weekend trip] Don't you want to get murdered at a tiny home in the country?

rise and shine buttercup, a new day of treachery awaits

Let’s make a wet spot on the sheets about it

Honestly, she could look at me in any tone of voice she wanted.

Woke up extremely handsome and delusional again

taking you to pound town but like politely

I’ll grow on you (threatening)

Be the person they talk about in therapy

I’m a sugar addict and she’s sweet af

I don't need true love, just let me store my gummy worms in your pubes

hear me out, what if we all just stayed in bed all day tomorrow

two blank stares passing in the night

wait don’t unfollow me yet i can make worst posts

I'd let you dumb in my cumster...wait.