Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy

I don’t feel good just in time for the weekend fml

idk about you, but id love to live in a hole in the ground all hobbit style

I keep nudes in my thirst trapper keeper

I want curly Doritos

Group chat is the new skircle I say to myself as I cut my toe nails

I don’t want to work I want chips and salsa

I will never start a group chat.

*someone sneezes* Me: Gross.

Sure you love me now but just wait till I can dm you pics

I just met a baby named Carl and was greeted with a firm handshake

If those old bands were so good why do they keep making new ones

Please do all the weird illicit activity in the other parking lot. I'm trying to peacefully eat my lunch in this one.

My coworker acts like he’s never seen me pull a plate of nachos out of my snack drawer before

I'm in space, cowboy.

I'm 100% mango smoothie rn

This is about me

I really don't want to work today, I'd rather stay and float in the pool

Autocorrect changed “couch” to “cooch” and now I’m sexting with the furniture sales associate.

Something about black nail polish

If you bury your post in reskeets. It never happened. <allegedly>

woke up tired from sleeping

Let’s go on an adventure, I tell myself, as I roll my ass out of bed.

i will find you in every universe (as a threat)

the only people i want to be in a group chat with are Lynda Carter and Flava Flav

You think I won’t invite Mark Hamill into my group chat listen pal I asked the senior homecoming queen to prom when I was a freshman

Oh, I’ll give you something to label

Anyone wanna go to a rage room and beat the shit out of stuff with a bat? My treat.

Running on cookies and caffeine

When one keeps claiming words don't hurt them, fight the urge to hit them with a dictionary.

Sorry to disappoint but this “is”my spicy alt

Not my main, not my alt, but a third much dumber account

Things were going poorly, but I was confident I could make it worse.

melancholy and the infinite loop of song lyrics and the half memories remaining in my brain

Do I learn from my mistakes, yes. Will I make them again, also yes

Happy Friday y’all. Let’s burn it all down today and maybe get sushi.

I’ll repost you even if you unfollow me because I’m a mother fucking sweetheart and it was a good post

Tell her to quit acting crazy or someone else will

end your sentences with prepositions, who gives a fuck at

My group chat is just me and your mom sharing wholesome recipes.

I don't even group chat in real life.

What yall say about me behind my back is none of my business but if you want the real tea, I know a guy (me)

Me in the group chat