Super opposed to misgendering anyone except cis men because calling them “baby girl” condescendingly is so fun

So tired of cis opinions on puberty blockers!! Shut up!! Unless you know what you’re fucking talking about!!! Okay!! Bye

Got asked for a daytime date on Sunday and after I said yes they suggested GOING FOR A RUN Friend unless you’re suggesting I run from the car to the nearest restaurant with mimosas I don’t think so

gonna go bleed out in the middle of the street anyone want anything

how about we kiss about it

Have just learned that when my first grader’s classmates call his sister a boy he is very vocal and adamant that she is a girl and she is his sister 😭❤️

Sex so good he doesn’t even wash his face afterwards so he can smell you on his beard all day

there's a heart under these boobs, just so you know

Was checking my lipstick in my camera and accidentally took a selfie at the precise moment a cute girl called me “beautiful” 🥰

Just remembered I dreamed I got blocked by my best friend so that explains the low level of panic that’s persisted throughout my morning 😭

The Governors Awards were held the other day and usually it’s a fairly meh event fashion-wise but this year was almost Oscar level - considering doing a lil fashion microblogging for y’all today, it’s been a while!!

Kids insisted on sleeping in my bed and they are just too damn big for this so now I’m on the couch and can’t sleep so I just took an edible at 1:30 out of desperation wheeee tomorrow is gonna be fun

Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy.

Too many folks still following this rapist

Have learned that wearing red makes you scientifically more attractive to men so I’m about to go out and buy a bunch of red clothing so that when I reject them it hurts that much more

Just cackled remembering the time I tried to do a “capsule wardrobe” as though I have literally one ounce of restraint or capacity to limit myself

Being polyamorous means just not understanding the use of a love triangle as a plot device

Someone on a dating app just asked what I do for exercise since I’m “still so trim after two kids” lol babe it’s called chronic anxiety 💅🏻 (Immediate unmatch)

My KINGDOM for bralettes that actually accommodate small band sizes and large cup sizes I refuse to wear underwire anymore. REFUSE I tell you. So here I am wearing a “medium” that’s got a gap around my rib cage with my tits spilling out the top 😭😭😭😭😭

I have a vibrator in the glove compartment of my car and no I will not be elaborating further

I’m not an avoidant! Could an avoidantly attached person do *this*?!? * doesn’t respond to a single text message for weeks, runs out of the room screaming if someone expresses any interest in being nice to me

Never anticipated a slutty gay renaissance for myself in my late 40s but here we are. Never give up hope and never let your shitty husband stand between you and your best life.

vibe

When you’re walking around wearing the same clothes someone tore off last night right before they fucked your soul right out of your body 😇💅🏻

Support your small local music venues

Who is this “we” you speak of

Burlesque show, edibles, date night with partner, no work tomorrow. These are the moments that make it all worth it.

Can u guess what the weather is like

Look just because i happen to be a slut with intimacy issues doesn’t mean *all* polyamorous people are like that

Quick vibe check kids, how are we all doing are we all still completely losing our shit on a daily basis

Hey cishets if you’re more up in arms about the future of marriage equality than you are about the fact that trans healthcare has suffered devastating blows in this country I’m gonna need you to really think about how much of an “ally” you really are to the queer community.

Some of you seem to be following this dumb bitch just FYI

Sending my perpetually insomniac friend a “u up?” message bc I also have insomnia tonight and want to chat with someone like we’re kids with two tin cans attached by a string

Maybe tomorrow, Satan

If I say “I love that for you” I am either mocking you mercilessly or genuinely thrilled on your behalf there is no in between

Meeting my friend for brunch for a mini slut convention and debrief, both wearing the same clothes we were wearing last night

“It’s all part of god’s plan” I’m sorry but what kind of god would have planned a world in which LinkedIn exists

Just spent like 20 minutes trying to figure out if my thermostat was somehow programmed to turn up the temperature every night around 3 am bc I keep waking up sweating and stripping my clothes off And then i remembered: fucking perimenopause 😒

Pumpkin spiced depression

No they’re supernatural. Boo, bitch.

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea because I’m actually not tea at all I’m a shot of patron on an empty stomach

HEY DEMOCRATS HEY DEM ESTABLISHMENT HEY MOTHER FUCKERS HEY WHAT UP WHAT FUCKING UP

Dick Cheney died, Mamdani won, and they can’t tie the gun to Luigi. Been a good day for the radical left

What it’s like being friends with me 😇

No words, all blah

“I’ll get my shit together tomorrow” And other lies I tell myself

Apropos of nothing, Dick Cheney endorsed Kamala Harris. Make of that what you will.

going to be a busy day

My favorite part of having a uterus is literally nothing

On the train and none of my loves or crushes are texting me to keep me company right now this is homophobic