good news for those of you planning to dress as sexy sasquatch for halloween:

2 cute 2 b raptured

ok hear me out: if we eliminate the replies, we eliminate the reply guys

apparently Facebook marketplace is exploding with people selling their belongings before the rapture (in case you needed a reminder why you should avoid that hell site)

committing psychological warfare on myself (moved my kitchen garbage can)

guys guys guys guys guys

whoops I am so drunk

spooky martha stewart up in here

Autumn is the best friend you want to hang out with; Winter is their annoying cousin from out of town you're forced to let tag along

monochrome girl with sharp eyeliner

I did not expect that 28 Years Later would be so pro-MAID, but I am here for it.

play time is over, thanks for being spooky with me

choose a number between 8 and 405 and I will tell you which cursed image you are (this will continue until morale improves, or I get bored)

banned from the Lego party for my questionable choices

I have acquired a fuzzy vest and now everyone takes 8 psychic damage every time I sing "see my vest"

A hint of positivity seems like too much. I guess this is my sign to get much worse.

ok I must find out what @sentimentbot.bsky.social thinks of my mixed-bag posting

your last saved pic is your moral philosophy

i know there are a lot of serious issues to be annoyed about right now, but i need to say that i am NOT pleased denim skirts are back in style.

RIP me; cause of death: accidentally inhaling hot sauce

local woman devastated to discover exercise actually does help her mood

if you see this, quote the energy you bring to bluesky

if things are going to continue to be terrible, I vote we just do a Jurassic Park and get it over with

resisting the return of summer open.spotify.com/track/7pM9cL...

sometimes humans do good.

Canadian artist Joyce Wieland speaking my language

infinite Steph

me, describing Niagara falls to a Danish man: it's kind of like Las Vegas mixed with Blackpool Irish bartender: no it's not, Blackpool is a fucking shit hole!

Centrists: America was built on free speech Also centrists: If you’re mean to me online CEO Jay should personally show up to your house and kill you

biannual reminder that hotel blow driers are terrible

everyone is getting worse, no one is getting better.

I consider myself somewhat of a thespian

politicians are the second-worst thing after billionaires, so you'll never convince me that celebrating their deaths is inappropriate.

just a quiet Thursday at home, applying literal acid to my face, like a regular girl

bad news: I have acquired an Alice band and am now 67% more adorable

I need someone to tell me who the Republican's Regina George is, and then a separate & unrelated person to lend me a bus.

annual "on repeat until Halloween" has commenced open.spotify.com/track/1wyVyr...

Everyone at work laughed at me bringing a whole peach in a mason jar, but guess whose fruit didn't get squished in her lunch bag??

cardigan time has arrived!

Sometimes I like not knowing what's going on. This is one of those times.

girl dinner

girl dinner

I will never waste an opportunity to call someone a narc; it is the harshest burn.

Accidentally spooked my kid with my house cleaning music selections open.spotify.com/track/4qobOJ...

☺️

FINALLY SOME ENABLING FROM CO-STAR

It is time.

Why is lying in bed, in a dark room, and listening to the rain outside the absolute best?

Iconic moment at the Downton Abbey premiere