Tits McDick
@titsmcdick.bsky.social
📤 3974
📥 1014
📝 2603
only the slightest whiff of mental illness. she/her 🏳️🌈
pinned post!
This season of America really sucks.
9 months ago
45
1340
201
Me: *looks at Twitter for the first time in over a year* Also me: Yeah…bad idea!
27 minutes ago
0
1
0
reposted by
Tits McDick
Jake_Vig
about 12 hours ago
I make it a point to show anyone who says "You're better than that" just how wrong they are.
6
95
29
reposted by
Tits McDick
Daisy
8 days ago
I think word is getting around the raccoon community that I’m the best marshmallow dealer
18
257
69
reposted by
Tits McDick
Liz Lets Loose
about 4 hours ago
I don't know who needs to hear this, but... Never mind. No one really needs to hear this
1
30
12
reposted by
Tits McDick
sweetie π
about 9 hours ago
teddy ruxpin should have killed us all long ago
5
85
29
I’m as rare as a puppy with depression.
about 4 hours ago
0
13
4
reposted by
Tits McDick
Wilbur72
about 9 hours ago
All you need is love. And $2 million dollars. Which makes the love thing easier to get.
0
11
4
reposted by
Tits McDick
🏴☠️ Jollyrobber 🏴☠️
10 days ago
Not now babe, I'm sorting my pills for the week
3
129
63
reposted by
Tits McDick
Marc
about 14 hours ago
The only thing social media has taught me is that many people are undiagnosed.
6
174
79
I’m thinking of changing my user name to Mammaries McPhallus to sound more respectable.
about 9 hours ago
3
50
14
reposted by
Tits McDick
kim
about 10 hours ago
the cool side of the pillow just tried to sell me drugs
2
56
12
Haven’t been there. Haven’t done that.
about 13 hours ago
1
4
3
reposted by
Tits McDick
Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️
1 day ago
I think if I stopped making bad decisions I would wink out of existence.
2
76
34
reposted by
Tits McDick
The Real Beardium
about 24 hours ago
Can I come over and check your tire pressure
1
7
3
reposted by
Tits McDick
los 🦦
1 day ago
anagrams should be messages delivered only by girls named Ana
15
165
47
I’ve been told I’m just like my grandmother. That’s just great. I’m gonna grow an 80 pound squash and talk about it for the next fifty years.
1 day ago
2
40
7
reposted by
Tits McDick
Jake_Vig
1 day ago
Just read the Comey indictment, and it is brutal. Some of the allegations: - never puts shopping cart back in designated cart return area - takes too many napkins from pizza parlor napkin dispenser - lied about having seen "Titanic" to fit in He won't beat the charges this time.
13
2740
532
reposted by
Tits McDick
Salty MacTavish
1 day ago
Babe, can you make sure my bib is tucked in regularly when they strap me to a dolly and wheel me to a facility?
3
104
38
reposted by
Tits McDick
stoner werewolf
1 day ago
they just don't pause the plot of an episode of tv to show you a man playing a full saxophone solo like they used to
6
171
17
Bill Hater > Bill Hader.
1 day ago
0
3
1
reposted by
Tits McDick
Scissors
1 day ago
Books, music, food, art if you like any of these, there will always be someone who thinks you don’t like them the ‘right’ way it’s always fascinating behavior to me
1
11
1
reposted by
Tits McDick
Pandy Fackler
1 day ago
Imagine sleeping with me WRONG! I sleep with 15 stuffed animals. You're sleeping on the floor
3
86
25
reposted by
Tits McDick
Mr. Boston Creampie ☘️🍰💦
1 day ago
Eating a donut with the frosting side down to indicate that I am in distress
27
840
73
reposted by
Tits McDick
Viktor Winetrout
1 day ago
Your medieval torture device is tearing this family apart
5
156
38
reposted by
Tits McDick
soapy of the swans™
1 day ago
a cup of coffee so good, you tell the cat ☕️ 🐈⬛
4
232
10
reposted by
Tits McDick
raindro
1 day ago
the best part of waking up is the baking up
0
7
3
Most people don’t like the idea of growing old but I’m really looking forward to being a complete burden.
1 day ago
4
25
9
reposted by
Tits McDick
Kellalena
1 day ago
If your happiness is fleeting, clap your hands.
5
120
51
I’m feeling very nervous and uneasy. Somebody hand me a ballroom.
1 day ago
0
23
6
reposted by
Tits McDick
Frenchy's Prospecting
2 days ago
I've got to stop using big words in front of my wife to make myself seem more wherewithal; she knows what they mean
0
28
14
reposted by
Tits McDick
donni saphire
2 days ago
I would make a great tree because I mainly just hang out and murmur to myself
1
76
13
reposted by
Tits McDick
the antisocialite, 🎩 jaunty feral
1 day ago
What would David Bowie do
1
4
1
reposted by
Tits McDick
Fun
2 days ago
there should be a hockey player whose last name is puppy
6
110
31
*awake at 4am* I wonder what kind of porn Martha Stewart likes?
1 day ago
2
20
7
reposted by
Tits McDick
𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖 𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝
1 day ago
I don’t mind dating older guys as long as they remember my name and where we parked.
148
1193
72
reposted by
Tits McDick
Michelle
2 days ago
If people don't like you, that's ok. If dogs don't like you, then it's time for some self-reflection.
246
8146
1083
I could be inside your house right now, you don’t know.
2 days ago
2
22
9
reposted by
Tits McDick
Movies Silently
2 days ago
Websites that demand I turn on cookies before I can see their stuff are cordially invited to boil their own heads.
7
4308
420
reposted by
Tits McDick
Nes Lessman
2 days ago
It’s ok to flirt, none of this is real
3
31
17
reposted by
Tits McDick
Canadian Bacon
2 days ago
I’m all tucked in and ready for a restful night of overthinking.
2
100
38
I tried to pay for a tank of gas with a Klondike bar. The guy at the counter considered it for a second.
2 days ago
1
18
4
reposted by
Tits McDick
chris.
2 days ago
I am not wearing the right underpants to be experiencing this level of alienation.
6
119
47
reposted by
Tits McDick
Humor Satire Memes
2 days ago
We’re living in times where single curse words just don’t cut it. You’ve got to start Frankenstein-ing them. AKA fuck nugget, douche nozzle, shit goblin...
5
42
6
reposted by
Tits McDick
God
3 days ago
I wish they cared this much about shootings when it happens to children at school.
241
13051
2992
reposted by
Tits McDick
ash
3 days ago
That looks like a problem for someone else.
0
57
31
I’d be honored to leave you for dead.
3 days ago
0
10
4
reposted by
Tits McDick
Professor Darkness
4 days ago
Today's episode is brought to you by the word "Staged."
169
8565
1368
reposted by
Tits McDick
Jonathan M. Katz
4 days ago
Remember how less than three weeks ago the president threatened to kill an entire civilization
89
9263
2203
reposted by
Tits McDick
Salty MacTavish
3 days ago
A guy my age called me a young man on the jobsite last week so I reflexively asked him if he’d buy a case of Schlitz for me and my friends
9
286
48
reposted by
Tits McDick
Marc
4 days ago
Well, the good news is most of us won't die from thinking too much.
4
122
66
Load more
feeds!
log in