I don’t trust any billionaire whose sense of morality and values depend on who is nice to them online because my sense of morality and values don’t depend on that bullshit and I’m broke as hell

what would the haters say if i went to bed right now

this is crazy as hell, i only have like 33 followers, and i have a different bigger one for family lol

The Xmas tree destroyer has triumphed!

Skip, the alcohol (angel dust til friday)

this is a lot of rain for us, it gives me the opportunity to say, "vegas is wet like your sister last night"

skip, the alcohol (angel dust on friday)

skip, the alcohol (no weed til friday)

i think im gonna skip the alcohol (no weed til friday) and pop some melatonin gummies 🤙

2 girls 1 candy cane

getting your feelings hurt is cool and fun

"Triceratops implies the existance of Tricerabottoms." I say to myself as zip my son into his dinosaur onesie.

Happy Holidays from our house.

tbt when my dog came across some porno dvd on the sidewalk and 100% knew it was porno

i do

being like scrooge on christmas morning and yelling out MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone on bluesky

this is manufacturing consent (no chomsky) to privatize mail delivery, ftr

How I use to apologize before I got sober

The DOJ is so imcompetent and bad at their jobs. Have we tried just deleting the "redactions" to see if the items are still underneath? I kind of doubt they know how to properly redact things lmao.

I realize I have never reskeeted bskys most famous cat

its just me my grandparents house and their bird tonight, and the homies here of course... 🤙

seans always doing the damn thing lets fucking goooooo

little drummer boy but he’s doing a 36min drums & space for baby jesus

Thinking bout them Enya again 'poorly plastered over thinking about them beans meme'

im sure she was super happy and all but i LOVE the grimace wedding photo, all like "just got married lol 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"

i dont want to dox my grandparents but just know that their neighbor is blasting xmas music, another one for joy and whimsy

screaming at the top of my lungs every time I stand up as God intended

if youre not going "RAHHH" while you do it, are you even yawning?

you heard it here first 👇👇👇👇

this is gonna be my new fit

believe it or not, the revolution will not happen on bluesky

hello,, officer

lmao

i think we should dress like they do in back to the future 2

would you still love me if i became a guy who eats 3 cream cheese and toast sandwiches ~every day~

new guy just dropped

this christmas the hogs will eat the farmer

if no one is gonna buy u a xmas present then buy urself ur own xmas present. that;'s right bitch. it doesnt matter if ur in ur 30s or 40s. buy urself the present u want & put it under the damn tree & then be like "oh wow how did santa know this is exactly what i wanted" TRUST ME!!!!!!

dont forget, we are still doing the same thing we do every night tonight (try and take over the world)

It’s elder millennial batting practice, just folks cracking them over the fence over and over while everyone else claps

Something you can say for Bluesky is that no other website is cranking out Muppet Christmas Carol Tiny Tim jokes like this place

tender and mild my boy

Who up rounding yon virgin?

if my mom looked like marty mcflys id make out with her too

Does everyone turn a blind eye because of how evil his victims are? Or because they fear some deep personal flaw will draw his ire? O L D S H E L D O N