I've been way sicker than this before, but this illness I've got just won't end. I figured this is day 8, I've been on antibiotics for a few days, I should be pretty much better. Nope. Tried to do chores, tuckered myself out. Back in bed. The children are losing patience with me, and so am I

What audiobook would you choose if you were doing a ~5 hour drive with boys ages 10, nearly 7, and 4.5?

I tried to break my voice rest, and that's when I learned this isn't actually a voluntary voice rest.

I've been doing "immersive reading" lately, which just means I listen to the audiobook and read along at the same time to force my stupid brain to pay attention. And folks, these audiobook narrators are substituting synonyms way more often than you would think.

Angry softball dad at the playground ranting about a call the umps made and transitioning flawlessly into how he wants to kill Trump. We should mobilize angry sports dads

Angry that this food recall is depriving me of my favorite food, lettuce

Oh my god

I am calling them into question.

On voice rest, communicating to my family by typing in my notes app. I knew Felix could kind of read, but I was wrong. He can just straight up read. No "kind of." I don't get it. No one taught him. It don't make no sense.

The 6 year old after the movie: "how did they make the hobbits look smaller than the humans?" Me, pulling out the 3rd disk of the extended edition: "funny you asked...."

Before sports betting was legalized everywhere, I was neutral about it, thinking that it was a personal choice. Now that it exists everywhere I have been radicalized against it like a 19th century suffragette

I understand that there’s danger in dehumanizing your political opponents but I don’t know what else you’d call this worldview other than “inhuman.” he has no empathy, no charity, no positive feelings towards his fellow human beings. he is an anti-humanist. a being incompatible with humanity

Everything started going downhill when snapple switched to plastic bottles

✣ Medieval Jimothy ✣

The number of prescriptions the doctor gave me are pretty validating. I'm 4 prescriptions sick. That's probably why I don't feel well.

Who here has seen the show Kevin Can Fuck Himself? I'm watching episode 1 now

The doctor said to do THREE DAYS of voice rest for laryngitis. Who in the world can stop talking for three whole days? I'm going to attempt voice rest for today. That'll have to be enough

NEW: A second ex-wife of David Brouillette, the ICE agent who killed Joan Durán Guerrero in Maine, Lucinda Brouillette, issued a statement this morning. "If you were to ask me whether I believe David Brouillette is capable of this level of extreme violence, my answer is unequivocally yes." /

i love this website

I don't think that's true

You know what is guaranteed to never give you parasitic diarrhea? Reading Robert Secundus’ Newsletter, Fragments. Link below. Like comment subscrib

Have any of you seen my wallet. I do not know when I last saw it

Visualized.

I regret to inform you I tried to draw Vincent Price

Harlan Crow promised to build Fetterman a bride

My 4yo nephew just called. I picked up. He said, "How do boats work?" I said that they displace enough water to keep them afloat, and that's called buoyancy. He said ok thanks and hung up.

I'm losing my voice every single day, and never before have I realized just how much talking my children demand from me

They should invent content for moms that is normal

I don't understand why i don't like the word "actuality." I always want people to either say "in reality" or reword the sentence so they can use "actually" instead. Does anyone else have the preference?

Why would Nolan film in a format that only exists in like 2 dozen theaters? Dumb, if you ask me

Stay healthy! Avoid fresh air and don't eat fruits or vegetables

Maybe I'm stupid and this says something profound, but I feel like "people who have spent more time on this earth have had more sexual partners than people who have spent less time on it" isn't particularly shocking?

Linus loves the pool, but getting water in his eyes/nose/mouth leads to meltdowns. We've tried goggles, but that only helps with eyes. I ordered some goggles that cover the nose, but he doesn't like that he can't breathe through his nose (understandable). Any suggestions? I feel so bad for him

I just saw a comment section on Instagram full of women saying they bring their 6, 7, 8, even 12 yo sons into the women's room, and all the other moms are saying they're right to do it. I send my boys to the men's room as soon as I can trust them to use the bathroom independently. Am I crazy?

WOW. The ex-wife of the ICE officer who shot a 26-year-old Colombian man in Maine has come forward to say that he had mental health issues and was abusive in their relationship. She says after the shooting he called asking her to vouch for him — instead, she went to the press.

We got the kids a Tin Can Phone, a wifi landline made so kids can call their friends. We had to have a little crash course in Phone etiquette, then Linus got too anxious to make a call. He asked if he could text instead.

It's pretty fucked up that after the man and his son got into a car accident, the doctor refused to operate on her own son. Shouldn't she want to save him? That's why women shouldn't be doctors

Raffi you’re so right

Has anyone popped into a sweet greens or a chopt or anything to check up on them? How are they holding up?

10 mos ago. I hate it here.

i feel like at this point forest fires are more trouble than they're worth

Couldn't the same hormone imbalance that caused the facial hair make your voice deeper?

Another reason AC is so important

I'm on day 4 of a really nasty cough (not covid, I checked), and on the one hand I do NOT care for being ill, but otoh, this is probably the perfect week for it. I have childcare in the form of VBS, I don't have work, and I have as close to 0 obligations as possible all week and weekend

Why is the mom group chat looking for the kindergarten teacher's personal cell number??? No, you're not supposed to have that. If you really need to contact her for some kind of an emergency, you can call the school and they can call her

"The month of July," as if July belongs to everyone equally. Some of us are managing seasonal trauma anniversaries and can't perform bookish leisure on command.

The boys were talking about what presents they want for birthdays/Christmas. Linus said he wants a large illustrated children's encyclopedia. Felix said he wants a Pink music box with a ballerina in it who spins around. In many ways, that sums them each up

imagining, but not in too much detail, a new pasta shape called testosteroni