truly wonderful stew (for dogs and people) made by my genius husband @shanesheehy.bsky.social happy holidays

when you don't help my posts go viral you are making my wife VERY upset. and it's almost christmas

Honestly I don't think I would like that

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a bun, stamping on a fresh grilled burger patty-forever.

*to the tune of build me up buttercup" 🎵I need a hamburger, A hamburger baby or I'll kill myself, I'll do it right now, and then Worst of all, Hamburger better come with frenchy fries, Or everyone dies 🎵

Happy to report that Liquid Death Cider actually tastes like real cider and no one gets mad at you if you drink it in the middle of the day because it's not real alcohol

30 rock cutaway gag where Jenna flashes back to being in a minstrel show in elementary school

With the right credit card, you can feel like yourself again

If you work on the computer the best time to schedule risky unplanned changes is tomorrow but the second best time is today

"It is logically impossible to simultaneously be evil, corrupt, and incompetent" is an absolutely amazing take to have in the year of 2025

Thank you, Google News

Neet is an acronym for New England extra terrestrial

whenever I'm really anxious I look at this pic of a dog bottle-feeding a baby goat and it hits like xanax

The shit in Avatar 3 is some of the most realistic we have seen in terms of poop from a butt

Christmas comes early for pets around here...

The American Dream Mall is slowly seeping past the borders of East Rutherford, NJ and consuming everything in its wake. Soon every street in America will be lined in stained Jonathan Adler loveseats and black tarps signifying where there might have been an Auntie Anne's if investors didn't back out.

Sometimes you learn there was an entire contractor size trash bag stuffed down your sidewalk vent pipe and you just have to live with that knowledge

Fingers crossed for this year

they're calling 2026 the Time of Tosk

I have empirically determined how many times I can handle the entire house smelling like sewage before I start to lose my grip on reality

why bother getting up in the morning anymore

if anything, this means we should bully people for farting out AI art even harder

Everything I have learned about plumbing has been under extreme duress

Can't believe it's been a whole year with my Thermostat

Feeling like Carlito at the end of Carlito's Way

you're telling me a coconut made these records?

I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons

At this point I would probably pay to avoid knowing what they think

If you kill yourself now you’ll never learn how the next avatar movie incorporates a new elemental force into its title bro

Reflecting on every time I've had sewage back up in the pipes in a rental and the only common denominator is me. It's time to admit I attract sewage. I'm a sewage magnet

People made fun of her for it but that shit Kamala Harris said about the coconut tree rings truer every day

A podcast asked me to record a voice note about my prediction for 2026 and here it is.

This feels so humiliating every single time. Like yeah I'm a genius. I could tell the signature request from [email protected] was fake. I should get promoted

I have decided to start being a huge bitch about this

Every day at work I get an email about a new AI assistant that was designed to psychically torture me being forcibly added to one of my apps

They play the same Starfleet Academy ad before every episode of DS9 so I've memorized the whole thing and can now perform it better than the actors themselves

well well well if it isn't the Blowjob Brothers

This lady wrote an entire book to bully her estranged daughter lmao. How is this not classic abuser shit that they do when they can't directly control you? Control everyone else's perception and destroy your reputation.

Its a big project but gosh its fun using a laminator

me to my brain

He has a love hate relationship with Spaghetti

this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.

snow dog

I've been working on this for a year now. Maybe when the baby can talk she will be able to help