god this was a lot first thing in the morning

Donald Trump Jr is a 48 years old. Really no need to go to that wedding, at that age it's marginal.

Paul McCartney in CBS Studio 50, separated by 22,748 days

ahhthe french, champagne, has highkey been celebrated for being 6 7

Audibly muttered “goddammit” when I saw this. The last thing I need is for the HBO original series Watchmen to have been prescient

I don't care who you are, whipping your tusks around and leveling a spear wall or throwing a guy 30 feet with your trunk feels amazing. Charging with the boys. And if my mahout decides I'm going too hard and killing too many of our guys and uses the chisel to kill me, he's just doing his job.

Today is Décadi the 30th of Floréal in the year 234. Floréal is the month of flowers. Today we celebrate the shepherd's crook.#JacobinDay More information on the shepherd's crook

Opening a new bag of beans for Sunday late morning coffee

Some children use the toilet as a means to get out of lesson times. Teachers cant go during a class, nor should students.

They’re gonna put me in the movies They’re gonna make a big star outta me They’ll make an aura compilation about a man that’s sad and lonely

She’s conducting an experiment to find out if the president is allergic to beestings

Disgraceful time today but my crossword streak is safe

ELON: christopher nolin is desocrating Homer the Odyssey just to qualify for woke oscars award.. only thing he care is industy clout CHRISTOPHER NOLAN (looking at a bunch of clocks he's modified so they're all going at different speeds): haha yes.... hell yeah...

I don't know. I'm not sure

Basically I’m the only thing in this whole world that’s pure and good and right. I’m also ywbl

handshake drugs by wilco

Idk who’s James Bond but they’re making me mister moneypenny

❤️

my favorite genre of international dialogue

eating straight pussy concentrate. this shit taste like tv static ‼️

pussy from uhhhh pussy from a girl that uhhhh (kicking a rock on the sidewalk) ah hell i can’t think of nothin

We Went to a Diner in Nebraska and Showed Trump Voters Your Skeets to See What They Think About Your Poorly Drawn Furry Pornography

People are just insane now of days

It seems they’re having a bit of a row on Downing Street…

My opinion as to the most iconic millennial song? Heh, it’s funny you should ask…

Once again milf hunters will be honoring mother's day with the traditional amnesty

if you read one thing on here today, make it this 👇

The bullfrog in a tweed suit whose land I live on, came by to tell me they were busy planting this year's carrots. He proudly told me he still employs two gardeners, as his father did, though "only one maid." He then observed the rising spring sun and said "it's all diminishing."

i thought about it again and it’s more clear to me more than it was before that it’s all over for me

health insurance lobbyists during Trump 2

Happy 5/8/77 to those who celebrate ⚡️💀

Operation Obama’s Delight

Welcome to the cream kingdom bitch

Riding Great Dane High on that train Scooby doo you better Watch your speed

girl not the Huntyvirus

My reaction was fully emotional and I apologize for that, my thought process seeing the original post was "what the fuck, this bluesky user wants to kill stray cats" and didn't really go beyond that.

Ultimately, the Shawshank Redemption is a movie about hope. You hope that the warden crushes the spirit of Andy Dufresne

White people when they announced the devils was getting restored

in human society karen says: let me speak to the manager. BUT! in bird society, karen says: let me speak to the tanager ☝️ do you understand this?

this is so funny man, the richest people on the planet are approaching the use of their thought-replacement technology exactly the same way i used to approach wording a wish spell in D&D

Descaling and cleaning my coffeemaker, does anyone need anything

The mechanism is completely immobile… you’d need a miracle. Nothing short of Gronko’s Grease will get that moving again

im fucked. im fucked!!

My haters will be happy to know that my laundry room now charges $0.25 more for 28% less drying time

Let's adhere to my vile doctrine(s)

“I SAID FLUSH IT ALL GARFIELD, A HELICOPTER FOLLOWED ME HOME! WE’RE FUCKED GARFIELD!”