The most patriotic thing you can do at the Riyadh Comedy Festival is “bombing.” Just playing. I appreciate and admire the bold modernization efforts undertaken by the visionary Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud

Trump thinks the FBI just looks into every mystery you hear about on TV. They’re going to release the Cadbury files and prove the eggs are smaller

*gives you succor*

Today is Quintidi the 5th of Vendémiaire in the year 234. Vendémiaire is the month of vintage. Today we celebrate horses.#JacobinDay More information on horses

Antepenultimate Thermos Thursday

thinking about this screenshot from Columbo that makes it look like a 90s point-and-click adventure game

“to the best of my knowledge”

There's a Cheeto in the White House

even by the standards of horribly corrupt politicians this seems like a bad deal. you're going to just give up on 10 years of potential bribes for shutting down individual regulatory bills? that's so much money left on the table

Opening a new bag of beans for Monday coffee

Today is Primidi the 1st of Vendémiaire in the year 234. Vendémiaire is the month of vintage. Today we celebrate grapes.#JacobinDay More information on grapes

A shameful man, a burden to their community, and a video game user walk i to a bar. The bartender says: In truth, you are one and the same. You will find no solace here!

“ill see you in valhalla” is not something i would ever say in memory of a friend. its something i would say to a $28 Hamburger

Eyes Wide Shut was a cautionary tale about renting a costume

Today is La fête des récompenses the 5th of Sansculottides in the year 233. Sansculottides is the month of complementary days. Today we celebrate honor.#JacobinDay More information on honor

Despite the best efforts of the perverts and demons who rule us I got a Covid booster

Today is La fête de l'opinion the 4th of Sansculottides in the year 233. Sansculottides is the month of complementary days. Today we celebrate conviction.#JacobinDay More information on conviction

what if i started a monastery but i get to have a wife and family

despite all my rage… im pissed off! fuck you!!

These people are demons

Today is La fête du travail the 3rd of Sansculottides in the year 233. Sansculottides is the month of complementary days. Today we celebrate labor.#JacobinDay More information on labor

perhaps the democrats should change their slogan from “long live weakness” to “heil hitler”. to show that they have an appreciation for hitler and are willing to carry out his work

I ran into Lloyd Howell and he loaned me 20 bills

Maxie Zeus throwing his own shit around let’s go

Today is La fête du génie the 2nd of Sansculottides in the year 233. Sansculottides is the month of complementary days. Today we celebrate talent.#JacobinDay More information on talent

Today is La fête de la vertu the 1st of Sansculottides in the year 233. Sansculottides is the month of complementary days. Today we celebrate virtue.#JacobinDay More information on virtue

reskeet for good luck‼️ have a good one

My 11yo daughter just walked in the room, looked at the tv, and said "is that a meme." I get she's new to internet culture but no. That is Harvey Keitel in Bad Lieutenant smoking crack. It would be a fire meme tho

*kill bill sirens play in my head*

Today is Octidi the 28th of Fructidor in the year 233. Fructidor is the month of fruitfulness. Today we celebrate corn.#JacobinDay More information on corn

Saturday is all about drinking your little coffee and playing it by ear

Making wild incorrect speculations about current events and then deleting them when you're proven 100% wrong is one of the joys of posting. And many are partaking in this classic posting delight today.

BLITZER: Now we’re getting reports that one of the bullet casings was engraved with a message saying that if you are reading the casing, you are gay. We must warn our viewers we’re about to show the photo and don’t know at this time whether the engraving is what makes you gay or if it just tells you

Keep picturing Patel dropping the casings in terror after reading “if you read this youre gay”

bro is this a sativa?? BRO ARE YOU SERIOUS IS THIS A SATIVA??? THEY MAKE ME REALLY PARANOID WHY DIDNT YOU SAY SOMETHING I ONLY DO HYBRIDS AND INDICAS. BRO IS THIS REALLY A SATIVA ARE YOU SERIOUS

around when i posted this i was on a couple tabs of acid and could not stop laughing at an image in my head of a New York Post style front page that said JEREMY RENNER RESCUED BY NEIGHBOR above this pic

he’s off that good kush and alcohol

He genuinely looks like he's wondering if he'll go to heaven here

Diego by Alberto Giacometti, 1953 #artbots #guggenheim https://botfrens.com/collections/212/contents/137174

well a drop of Gronko’s grace couldnt do us any harm

Gavin Newsome announcing his presidential platform

If all my friends called me a pedophile in my birthday book I'd probably kill myself too

samnite tinder date wont stop asking me about weapon burials

samnite neighbor stopped by and we talked about hills

oh no, he's got some religious bugbears to chide this time

you put your GENDERS in, you put your GENDERS out, you put your GENDERS in and you change them all about (through gritted teeth and tears) you do the wokey pokey and you turn yourself around

Today is Décadi the 20th of Fructidor in the year 233. Fructidor is the month of fruitfulness. Today we celebrate the harvesting basket.#JacobinDay More information on the harvesting basket

It’s because someone paid off my gambling debts and my mortgage

The Thomas Crown Affair is sending me