I’ve been saying it for almost a decade now, but I’m surprised Trump hasn’t pulled the “make weed legal” card at some point, just for the instant popularity. I guess the Heritage ghouls would never let it happen now. But it’s always been *right there*

I can see you / your breasts keep shining in the sun

he performed “Kim” for them and you can see the joy on their faces

I have a solution for this James Bond issue:

I will take the shampoo bottle OUTTAMYASS

Birds are sky garbage

We live in the Morton Downey Jr Extended Universe. No, I will not elaborate further.

Just caught a guy performatively staring into the middle distance…he wanted me to think he was meditating upon the strange vicissitudes of fate but I could tell he was just a wastoid

I HOPE CHUCK SCHUMER GETS CANCER OF THE DICKHOLE

….why?

you know you’ve written a good post when multiple people respond with “jesus christ” or some variation

lol

listening to New Adventures in Hi-Fi for the first time ever, somehow

MICHAEL STIPE: (roasting you) Egypt was troubled by your horrible ass

jesus christ

211 yards on the ground really indicates just how much this Florida defense has just rolled over and given up.

HEY JACK IT’S A FACT BUSH PLANNED THAT 9/11 ATTACK

that’s probably a pompous asshole

Frames Janklin.

The internet absolutely rules. Some mutual you don’t know irl whose handle is “chodemuncher420” and posts fart memes in pundits’ replies will write “My wife and I help out foster kids 4x a week so they can go to college. We work with this charity that could use some help, please donate if you can.”

trying to buy a fifteen dollar bag of doritos at kroger with a printed out AI image of a dead youtuber singing bawitdaba in heaven

grocery cat

He's still in the league?!

on the chaise longue on the chaise longue on the chaise longue all day long on the chaise longue on the chaise longue on the chaise longue on the chaise longue all day long on the chaise longue on the chaise longue on the chaise longue on the chaise longue all day long on the chaise longue on the ch

playing this in the background in the living room so the child absorbs a bit of good culture on a friday night

SOCRATES: No god is a philosopher or seeker after wisdom, for he is wise already; nor does any man who is wise seek after wisdom. PLATO: Neither do the ignorant seek after wisdom. DARRYL, SOCRATES AND PLATO’S FRIEND: well well well if it isn’t the blowjob brothers

REM - Drive (1992)

i will not be posting a picture of myself without my beard, you can't make me

just found out Young Bleed died a week ago and now I’m bummed out

there's an Elvis Sex Defender Guy on here, huh

This is cinema

when I got hired at K-Mart 28 whole-ass years ago, they had a concept called the "10 Foot Rule" where you had to smile and acknowledge any customer within 10 feet of you in passing. and as dumb as it is....it kind of helped me develop the social skill of being nice in the hallway lol

i tried homefield once. the necks are too large on the t-shirts. i’m not paying 40 bucks a shirt (or whatever it’s up to now) just to get something that looks like this

if tom waits did “werewolves of london”:

omg HOISTED BY MY OWN PETARD

our son is 7 and he already hates AI, it’s wonderful. gotta teach ‘em early.

this man had opinions on dinosaurs

hey that’s the doctor from Baby of the Year :(

we’re having Subway for dinner to celebrate

rfk jr seeing a guy nodding off and instinctively doing the "i was never here" shuffle proves his bona fides as a social user of hard drugs

this all sucks shit but the thing that’s funny to me about this in particular is that it was a fucking UPS cargo plane that crashed on a Tuesday afternoon in Kentucky, so why the fuck would Warren Sapp (or any of the other celebrities placed in the plane by the AI slop machine) be on there??

sorry for the twitter screenshots but I just learned that Bethany Mandel has a child named Altima and I needed to share this knowledge with everyone

lol

Mark Zuckerberg is doing a fantastic job feeding all of this AI slop misinformation about tragedies...

can I say something without people getting mad at me