something seemed off all day and then i realized i had my underwear on backwards

God forbid a woman try to do mutual aid

IMPORTANT: For any artists/writers/etc etc, using Linktree to point people to their work, from 5 July, they'll be feeding all imagery you use on your landing page into DALL-E by OpenAI. I deleted my account this morning.

It’s really funny to say you don’t have energy to cook or clean while having enough energy to meltdown all day about it

hey I got a tab of acid and a pill of ecstasy let’s take both and do some whipits and listen to DJ Shadow

The Ass Dispensary is around back

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don’t you mind your own fucking business

I am begging these guys—this Princeton prof in particular, but also a lot of other guys in positions of influence—to stop making their midlife crises everybody else’s problem

your momma got hit with one of these

what about ass? WHAT ABOUT ASS??

It’s funny how the other presidents look dignified and then he made his face half as big and looking like someone told him he had to eat his vegetables before he could have his chicken nuggies

I fart oolong for far too long

1001 albums #97 - no one needs to hear this before they die.

“Yeah we’re giving you guys all pardons to let bygones be bygones, just show up at the ballroom on Jan 20 2029 at 12:02 PM to pick it up”

Before woke all of America agreed that true masculinity is when you look and act like Fredo in the Godfather

Happy Birthday, Bob. I just made this for you. Hope you like it!

I think I would enjoy broadway musicals if they sang like muppets instead of like annoying dorks

The first star wars movie won an oscar for editing. If you watch it and pay attention to the editing you’ll understand why

If the old rich white guy supports human rights and the not old rich white guy doesn’t, the old rich white guy is better, end of story

its friday its five lets party

1001 albums #96 - I probably enjoy early 90s music too much

BREAKING: Rod Torkelson's Armada Featuring Herman Menderchuk has backed out of Freedom 250

It’s called The Great American State Fair, Brendon. On the National Mall. Patriotism, vomit, rock and roll. Everybody’s playing it. The heavy hitters. Kid Rock? He’s probably there. The Nuge? Basically a lock. Bret Michaels from Poison—guy’s a legend, beautiful hair, great guy, oh wait..

Ted Cruz went catgirl

Miller likes to pretend he’s tough while he sounds like a wiener adult from a 90s nickelodeon cartoon

Let’s talk about why font choice matters

Cornyn as the leopards eat his face:

I would hold off unless he promised to make Bitches Brew: 2 Bitches 2 Brew

1001 albums #95 - getting whiplash going from an awful band like the Eagles to a great one like Sky and the Family Stone

The bluesky experience

Beetlejuice may be a dark comedy but it’s also a terrifying horror movie. Imagine dying and you still gotta have a job and deal with bureaucratic assholes

1001 albums #94 - there is a certain set of eagles fans who will claim that you don’t actually hate the eagles and you are only saying it because of a line in the big Lebowski, which is the saddest cope ever. Let me assure you I’ve hated this fucking band since I was a wee lad in the early 80s.

This belongs in the louvre

the poster's equivalent to "imagine your audience naked" is "remember the guy you're arguing with is sitting on the toilet"

Thanks for saying the same thing the other dude said which is probably copy & paste from some Lennon-Marxist-communist, everyone deserves to suffer page of a site from “credible” nihilist that only the TRUE communist believes know about because no one has ever done communism correctly, right?

these people should not even be allowed to be near a book

My Neighbor Craig

Make a movie into a porn: Mister Holland Groped Us

My work email somehow got on a list of construction equipment sales and rental companies which I ignore, but don’t delete, in case some day I need to get a huge front end loader and go completely apeshit

The shirt I’m wearing fit when I put it on this morning but it doesn’t fit now. Can I really get that fat so quickly?

Thank you troops

STOP TELLING ME AI IS THE FUTURE OH MY GOD

Castel Gandolfo implies Castel Sarumono and Castel Radagosto