the stressful situation

Oh Mike. I can tell you why. But you’re not gonna like it.

Come on now lmfao

due to their intense inflicting of pain, whenever i visit the pump that is, i call them gasp prices.

Eek! This pelican is attempting to swallow me whole! Oh, won’t anyone render me aid? -The Panicked Pipsqueak

coming up with a new character called “the panicked pipsqueak”. whats something the panicked pipsqueak might say..?

Good gracious… Thats a #niceview

me best mate is an instagram reel.. i only wish we could have a cheeky pint down the pub…

picking up a few shifts working for a dread lord

Who are our enemies? Who are our friends? This is a question of the first importance for the revolution.

i missed the game. did you enjoy it?

Extremely revealing details in this interview

what if i just stopped posting. what if i just put a stop to all this

people will claim to love edgy disruptors but then turn their noses up at ideas like “robespierre for harvard”

What do they call it when youre vibing so hard your hair turns white and your fingernails get really sharp

When I was your age the jokes on Taco Bell hot sauce packets were so funny you had to take the day off work just to laugh

I need more time!!

Hunter Biden spending his whole day every day on Twitter being like "I'm not a pedophile, I was smoking crack with ADULT hookers at the Super 8 outside of Newark, you guys have pictures of all of it INCLUDING my hog from My Leaked Stolen Laptop™" is a masterstroke. Should've done this years ago.

Uncle Fried Chicken Sensed Danger

I am physically and financially assisting in this work. If groups like this are operating near you, find them and support them. www.chicagotribune.com/2026/05/30/i...

Im the woke graham platner

what do you call mass detainment camps that kill the people who stay in them

“Hey, wait a minute! This is grass! We’ve been eating grass!”

these cries don’t seem to be working.. we’ll stop sending them for now

if someone drew this in 2012 what would you assume theyd be up to now

dont be making jokes come on. that’s all over

It seems incredibly obvious to me that datacenters are a synecdoche for the whole process of having our lives and environments transformed according to the interests of capital as represented by a set of tech companies

there is no personal dishonor greater than using the computer

blue sky dot porno…do your thing

do any of my haters have suggestions for me

48c == 118F

In May, the New School's Student Senate sanctioned its Hillel chapter for its ties to Israeli war crimes and violations of international law. With 850 chapters worldwide, students everywhere should join the campaign to "Drop Hillel." mondoweiss.net/2026/06/here... #Palestine #Israel

i hope you’re out there having the best evening of your life

Imagine being in the control room at your grownup TV job the first time you realize that television is created by people making choices, and doesn’t just happen organically.

blackfly season suck my dick challenge 2026

Listen. Nobody is more racist than me

they’re making me the head of 60 minutes. and im WOKE

Only the strongest will remember to honour Wizard Wednesday

this is just a straight up lie. it never happened

the resilience of the human spirit can kiss my ass!!!!!

It's not a good sign for your democracy when the attorney general is "not committing to doing anything in writing."

the way things have been goin… send me to the glue factory!

None of this stuff you’re seeing in the news was my doing. 100% other guys. Me? Never consulted

what if everything turns out GREAT

considering my bean planting schema for tomorrow. a few things to consider

gotta water in the corn

your posts have been light on eros as of late. are you ok

“i did this cool thing with the computer” ok? how am i supposed to respond? “well done dishonoring yourself”? im not going to say that

I wish i could make my tractor understand: i will always fix you

not so young, anymore