I'm so fucking sick of being here, man

Hot for Teacher

I made myself a cocktail with a little lemon peel spiral on the glass rim and as I’ve been drinking it the spiral has gradually unwound and every sip I’m just looking at it like yeah dude, same

shit these are good tips tho

I’m the type of person who would shrug and do all the promotional bullshit for a $175k writing prize, but that is the trait I find most contemptible in myself. Helen DeWitt is an inspiration. paperpools.blogspot.com/2026/04/we-l...

it is the job of writers to be difficult and inefficient and it is the job of people in "facilitating culture orgs" to deal with that, and in an era of Professionalize Yourself Hustle culture, Helen Dewitt is like one of the Olde Gods rearing up to instill fear, terror, and awe

just give Helen DeWitt a million dollars and a personal assistant! let her write in peace!

In my America, we will simply let the foo be

Being excited to say the r word is the biggest loser shit imaginable www.nytimes.com/2026/04/08/o...

Leo should excommunicate all of Opus Dei, that’d really set the fox among the chickens in the upper reaches of the US government

"sorry I can't come to your once-in-250-years party. I'll be busy doing something it would actually make much more logical sense to do four days later. I bumped it up on purpose so I could throw it in your face. eat shit forever, amen" there is no hater on earth like a hater from Chicago

Every "I figured out who Satoshi is" thing, documentary or written, begins with some version of "I was watching this bitcoin doc and this one guy seemed strange to me." Oh, someone in crypto seemed evasive and awkward? tell me more, sherlock.

lol i kept seeing people in all the group chats talking about the avignon pope and I assumed they were just goofing, but uh

From a friend:

ᴵ’ᵐ ⁿᵒᵗᵎ

“I was stuck in traffic and listening to the Hard Fork podcast,” ope let me just stop you there bud

This is a real clinic in how not to do an investigation. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/08/b...

New: 150 unionized ProPublica workers are on strike TODAY over AI, layoff protections, wages, and more. They're asking readers to not visit ProPublica or engage with content on other platforms. It's the first work stoppage of its kind at the newsroom. www.theverge.com/news/908401/...

It’s probably an extremely normal sign that every discord has a joke about not getting the discord subpoenaed

weird juxtaposition where people in power and influence are saying absolutely heinous, deadly things without any restraint of conscience, and everyone reacting to it is having to bite their tongue and speak in euphemisms not to get banned or arrested or whatever

It’s immortality day! (God let’s hope not.) Today in Tabs is off this week to give you time to experience or revisit all 25 parts of 17776 today. www.todayintabs.com/p/the-future...

Oohhhh O-whoahhhhh OHHHHH-Oh Ahhhhh haaaaaa, AHHHHHH AHHHH

Hague house call time

There are people who don’t???

maybe saudi arabia’s neck just did that

Stuck waiting for a plane to take off so here’s 50 sword names for your next D&D game

Can you imagine Great Gig In The Sky peaking right as the sun flares behind the black rim of the moon CAN YOU IMAGINE

With one of the greatest of all time @sashastewart.bsky.social

yet another reason to leave substack (before they make it even harder to leave):

aaron swartz was murdered by jstor, MIT and the US government

*Event Horizon music plays*

I slap the hood of perspective. “You can fit so many persons in this baby,” they say.

Words have meanings.

Are they gonna cut the butts out of their pants? because they’re already showing their whole ass

As an author of erotica, I would never replace my human creative expression with AI. I use these powerful tools carefully, to improve my writing’s quality. My process is very simple: When I finish a new story, I upload the text to Claude and prompt it with one question: “Did you cum?”

There’s a lot between here and there but I think this ends with the presidency having its power reduced to that of a lawn ornament.

“Open the fuckin’ strait, you crazy bastards!”

sick! www.opentools.studio

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me. It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

I guess the thing I'm feeling is the difference between living in a functioning democracy (albeit one run by bad people) and living in an authoritarian state.

I'm remembering what the lead up and beginning of the 2003 Iraq invasion was like, as a regular person living in America, and how utterly different it felt to today and I think the main distinction is that in 2003, the administration felt like they had to bother to lie to us?

We do not need ways to make writing easier so there's more of it. We need ways to make writing harder so there's less of it.

I wrote about this very thing today www.thehandbasket.co/p/refusing-t...

i don’t think we should pay people to pretend to be stupid for public consumption but that is just my opinion

<I’m wheeled into the Pitt> Santos: male, 36, at happy hour, now saying “tummy feel crazy” Al-Hashimi: 47% of men’s bodies reject modern IPAs. They’re too hoppy now Robi: the silent killer. Get him to surgery McKay <alone now, staring straight at camera>: I am the same type of communist as you

lmao @ this week's popbitch

Well there’s only two word so it’s either “Endless” Shrimp or Endless “Shrimp.” nypost.com/2026/04/01/b...

Love love love this