Dumb and Dumber basically stole the diarrhea bit from Don Quixote

back in the invite only days my friend with the same name as a famous tech guy got flagged as impersonation for uhhh using his name and Paul got so mad at me for calling him Paul Lazee that he briefly blocked me and then unblocked me to call me an asshole

I hate this post every time I see it. From having Kirby co create Spider Man to the “uhh were you high???” aspect of it. Bottom 1000 posts (non racist division)

here’s the music i liked in 2025, a year that has been

i’m not responding to the prompt i’m sorry i’m too busy imagining LEBRON FUCKING JAMES IN A MIDDLE SEAT

Absolutely perfect Mr. Mayor, no notes, thank you

Olivia Rodrigo also has a song referencing Brigitte Bardot, who has eyes on Dan Nigro right now

There’s a vehicle auction site called Bring A Trailer that has a bot posting here and it’s hilarious to see the differences between the top viewed/commented autos on the site vs on here. There it’s like muscle cars, Porsches with racing liveries getting “So sexy” comments

I always get “new” books for Christmas for my dad and without fail when I unwrap them he goes “I read the first 100 or so pages of that one seems pretty good” or “I read some of that one and it seems weird I don’t know”

My dad brought Rosa Maria garbage burritos up from socal, here’s me

Saw a moon rock

you can just block will stancil. you don’t have to see his garbage, he is not nor has never been relevant or interesting or successful

Finally everyone can read my erotic novel about Betty Boop and Miss Marple hunting Dracula

THEY NEVER FUCKING GO ANYWHERE

Celebrating the season with the movie that has everything.

for Christmas I got my wife a button where you can record sounds and I used it to record the Angel of Death scream

Finally a restaurant on restobot i’ve been to and it’s a fucking red robin outside a mall

Merry bookmas

Well uh it isn’t a white christmas

Hello please enjoy the 63 minute version of Jingle Bell Rock I made for some reason youtu.be/JJ27dAnuyek?...

Beep beep the bad bitchmobile has arrived

You telling me a ho made this takeout?

i’m sorry but if you’ve ever so much as touched a synthesizer you’re either on the spectrum, trans, or both. celiac does get a pass on that one i guess

Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night

Kids are throwing couch cushions at each other and I’m playing a board game thats making my brain hurt, hell yeah baby this is the good stuff

Well, happy anniversary to one of the finest of festive exchanges

one of my favorite things about raymond chandler is the total and unending contempt for cops, who philip marlowe views as being too stupid and lazy to solve any cases (when they aren't getting paid off by the mafia)

My favorite part of whenever a story about somebody “solving” a cold case goes around is pointing at crime fiction writers and going “well they believe it!” like that lends any credibility at all. Yeah man that guy writes stories where cops actually solve mysteries, they’re a fantasist

this is shit from a butt

Selling bootlegged 60 minutes VHS tapes outside of retirement homes and making a fortune

lol at Bari not knowing about the distribution process for foreign markets and not asking and no one volunteering the information.

let's do the fucking news

Simply Having A wonderful

Norcal peeps stay safe, this could get real real bad

Why is James Cook trending did the hawaiians get his ass again

The VERY FIRST thing you saw entering the vatican museums under Francis was a collection of Argentina and San Lorenzo kits lol

Hell yeah let’s get nuts (by nuts I mean drink one third of a can and then awkwardly try to put plastic wrap and a rubber band on it to save it for tomorrow

One of my favorite things every year is seeing a favorite albums of the year list, realizing I haven’t heard a single thing on it, checking out a few of them and going “oh this sucks” i mean this sincerely

Anybody need anything from THE DARK ZONE

hell yeah we’ve destroyed time

Oh my god I was right

Now accepting pet photos as birthday presents, thank you

how do we keep letting him get away with these

Did David Brooks attend Jeff Epstein's Annual Celebration of Pedophilia Gala? yes but only the once

if tumblr dies I need this video to make it's seasonal rotation here instead just in case, Happy holidays 🎄

I distinctly remember people on these apps saying we can’t just accuse everyone that’s saying the Epstein files aren’t a big deal of being in the Epstein files but uhhhhhhhhh looks like that move is batting 1000