My daughter confidently told me tonight that we don't have any ghosts in our house and when I started to agree with her she said "Because they're extinct" and now I gotta think about this for a while

they should let Waluigi fuck

guys please, MARK Epstein made the blowjob joke, Jeff would never stoop so low

Slamming a bible that's shrink wrapped for some reason down on a table: uh yeah you could say I'm a "reader"

guys Olivia Nuzzi won’t see your jokes but your mutuals that fuck old guys who talk about “leaky brain” down at the outdoor gym where you’re not allowed to wear shirts will

Years ago I was suspended on Twitter for inviting Marco Rubio to swallow ten D batteries, which I don’t see how it could be a threat; he and I were not even in the same room and I have at most six D batteries on hand

Olivia Nuzzi got sent in to do a profile but it turned out she wanted to fuck the subject so we sent in Jacob Bernstein to profile her and it turns out he also wants to fuck the subject

Olivia Nunnomybusinezzi

I made a joke in my main Discord server about DOOM E1M1 being in a major key and @abigbagofkeys.sickonedude.com actually made it. Jesus fucking Christ listen to this hahahaha

at a VC investment pitch meeting: drug money courier service

i know this is not the point but they've got this dude painted up looking like a child beauty pageant contestant

yeah i’m thinking about orb gazing

the funniest thing to me about the current/former NYT writers defending them are how three posts into the thread they go "Look I mean this place sucks it's awful I hate 99% of the people here are I would throw most of the editors into a wood chipper HOWEVER,"

looking up how to play videos for board games now is like "How To Play Terra Mystica in 10 minutes" "How To Play Terra Mystica in 5 minutes" "How To Play Terra Mystica in 30 seconds without opening the box"

remember when the austin powers director made a movie about her with charlize theron

somebody quoted this with “and not for the sexual assault stuff?????” oh man you got me

this was a quote about that weird WSJ journal article about johnny cash being underrated or something lol

I would have killed Jeffrey Epstein too if I had to read the way he typed emails just saying

thanks yeah that's what we're all clamoring for

The coordinated nature of this—none are facing voters in 2026—means that either Schumer approved it or failed in his job as Senate Majority Leader to stop it. Dems voting "no" get zero credit until they demand a change in leadership. Schumer out as Leader, Durbin out as Whip.

I think dem senators should not be able to go in public without having literal actual dog shit thrown at them until they resign

everybody supporting this gotta go, unreal pathetic shit

could he include the $600 joe biden still owes me, thanks

Come on down to Disney we got the Wookie Pope now

“Is Sabrina Carpenter Hot" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

This is driving me nuts, this intro is so close to being a Yes riff but not? Is it sampling something I’m missing or did they just do knock off All Good People youtu.be/XluwyJ6T8LY

They know they are losing the messaging fight on this and just don’t care

Listening to the new Rosalía, i’m four tracks in and have heard 5 languages already lol okay sure

A buddy of mine made a record covering side one of Prince’s Dirty Mind and side two of Kiss’s Hotter Than Hell. It is both very fun and aggressively, confrontationally stupid. ryanwerner.bandcamp.com/album/dirty-...

this is going to sound bad but hear me out - i think there’s probably a decent chunk of american voters who do not understand trans issues and are weirded out by hearing about it but that extends to even negatively hearing about it and they vote as such

I don't think it's even right to say the voting public doesn't care. I think the truth is a lot of voters may generally find trans identity moderately confusing but also *none of their business*. on the other hand, they find an obsession with harming trans people - say it with me - deeply weird.

THE MEDIA LIAISON FOR THE COURT: I am the media liaison for the court

So sosososososo many jokes about sandwich guy but hopefully we can focus on what really matters here. Not being able to convict on FUCKING ANYTHING has to be driving justice department people to drink themselves into an early grave

🚨🚨🚨 The jury has reached a verdict. Sean Dunn, aka the DC Sandwich Guy, has been found NOT GUILTY of assault.

The mayor-elect has opened a portal.

i cannot stop laughing at RFK bolting because he doesn't want to inhale the 5g death energy

this applies to both the politician and the card game just so we're clear

women have destroyed the workplace, women have destroyed the west, dang babes keep going

the women in the workplace discourse is very funny because a man who can act normal in an office environment that's predominantly female is absolutely on easy street. it's maybe the best gig anyone in history has had. and yet for many guys it is utterly impossible

Oh man we’re so close to an actual Bye Felicia situation here www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

goat meat stands sound lit, i'll come visit

wait you weren't kidding

Zohran won IN SPITE of the most useless fucking state party in the country

the thing that really drives me nuts about this is if you’ve ever listened to or read anything from wallace shawn you’d know how annoyed he’d be about people mocking someone for recognizing him as “that guy from that thing” regardless of what the thing is

landslide, this got called instantly

Tonight's even more proof the mainstream reporters who are still on Twitter are suffering from a brain problem akin Havana Syndrome that is preventing them from accurately doing their jobs. They are being cooked alive by a snuff-focused apartheid algorithm.

Tonight we’re all… *looking down at cue cards* walking here