we should "Wippa" his nuts with an extension cord for pulling this fucking scam

[Guy whose dick fell off because there's a girl in star wars] I would probably do well in a civil war

sexuality-erasing Gonzo was like: and Tiny Tim, who was NOT bi

yeah but he's a frog so

unemployed. loser. weird. gay. dumb

I feel really sad for people who use chat gpt because it means they don’t have friends

Me: What if Allan Sherman were in Daft Punk. He'd be all like, "hello muddah, hello faddah, fasta stronga, betta hahda 🎶" My date who I will NOT be seeing again: you don't have to do the voices 🙄

fuckin nearly got knocked down like six times this morning by kids just letting the hoop and stick hoop get away from them and roll down the street all helter skelter. bring back the web sites.

ten years ago we had ministers named John Help, Stewart Uplift, Jessica Liberate. now we just have Steve Punish, Jason Deprive, Maria Withhold

Could be worse. Probably will be.

it's so good to me that everything is scams all the way down, and then when the scams run out it's cons and swindles, then we hit a layer of rooks and flimflam and only THEN do we get a go at the shell game.

half life 4 will be fought with sticks and stones.

going to therapy is fucked up cause I have to say all this really personal shit about myself but I worry if I ask my therapist a single personal question beyond "how are you today" I immediately feel like I've become Hannibal Lecter

the absolute state of this rat-piss ass hole

they lowered my hecs and yet,

i don't WANNA verify my fucken identity! go away!!

if I saw a tesla robot i would start kicking and attacking it

computer going to take my job? no. i’ll pour water on it

Nobody. I do not think you can eat chair

shout out to the interstitial DJs at meredith whose remit is to deliver the most punishingly good 15 minute remix you've ever heard while also having to maintain an undeniable "let's all go to the lobby" energy

This Powerful New Vince Gilligan Series Tells Girls About Something Called PLERBIS

folks we are just following account policy here: if there’s a BX 4TC that gets listed, I’m posting it www.gt-vintage.com/stock-voitur...

hot out eat the guy

isn't this shit supposed to help finish the fucken projects

not that this is necessarily the Reddit poster's politics but it's so funny that all the right wing return nostalgia return freaks have the gall to say communists want everything handed to them for free when they basically still need their mum to burp them after every meal

Trying to explain I'm a prison abolitionist while kinda drunk

I've done enough hallucinogens to know that they're not like in the movies where cartoon characters pop out of the fridge but if I were tripping and Mr beast was there I would Attack him

james cameron every couple of years for some reason:

every day americans talk about something called "coffee creamer"

the fuck is wrong with me

i love my gay little internet friends

food in the supermarket freezer should be shelved not by main ingredient or cuisine of origin, but rather grouped according to the time and temp it needs in the air fryer. that, or alphabetically.

no Kickstarter sucks

one sip of a thursday beer and it's time to go online and talk to people. wahey. TGIF

happy getting fifty million "we're updating our terms of service" emails day, to all who celebrate, for some reason

going on the computer used to be fun and worthwhile and these mother fuckers have just debrided away all that was good about it

this plurbs show is pretty good

huff my duff

[daft punk vocoder] buy it keep it keep it keep it keep it keep it keep it

i had a dream last night where i kept getting bitten by this little green snake. anyway, bye