my pet theory is that this was the last truly great twitter tweet (literally one week before it got officially rebranded to X) and “jeff thinks the beans have to take turns” is the first truly great bluesky post (20 days later)

Enjoying how the 'post cycling progress pic' series is also documenting the slow death of my cycling singlet

Draculas be like :

LAUNCH! ARTEMIS II LAUNCHES WITH A CREW OF 4 TOWARDS THE MOON

jonathan the tortoise lives

AAAAHHHHHHH IT WORKED THIS IS WHAT I WANT GOVERNMENT DOING

The entire timeline right now

W H A T

WHOOOOOSH

Lotta gas coming outta the rocket rn. That's because the astronauts are farting nervously

I want a Wes Anderson moon landing

Pspspspspsps www.youtube.com/live/m3kR2KK...

What the headline doesn't say is that the factory produces a cheap drug that is only produced by one other pharmaceutical company: Teva, in Israel. Israel is knocking out the competition while also killing patients.

moby-dick, his eyes enormous: from hell's heart you STAB at moby? for hate's sake you spit your last BREATH at moby? oh! oh! the great shroud of the sea for ahab! the great shroud of the sea rolling on as it rolled five thousand years ago!!!!

A French guy after making a ham and cheese toastie.

i love dnd we have encountered a woman who is talking about how frogs arent real only toads and i would die for her

ugh today i had to do a bunch of therapy about the fuckery from the lawyers after my dad died but Rob ran me a lovely bath and I feel so much better

literally

MY FELLOW QLDERS, DO NOT FORGET TONIGHT'S ALBROADCAST IS 6PM DUE TO SOUTHERN STATES INABILITY TO ADOPT NEW TECHNOLOGY. -==DON'T FORGET TO SCULL A COLD ONE WITH THE AUSPOL BINGO CARD==-

Sorry bitch I'm playing dnd tonight, can you postpone? Ty ty x

the goetia slaps because it's like "this is a great marquis of hell who will teach you necromancy and give you a liberal arts degree" and it's a horse called Samgina

hnnghhh philosopher im trying to solve the trolley problem but im dummy thicc and the clap clap clap off my ass cheeks keeps knocking the lever into the worst position

My husband & I would regularly put on Bluey to help ourselves relax after a long day in the Alzheimers mines, it's a lovely program

Happy April Fool's day, last night I swam 2.2k

The sisters on charmed: we have to write a spell. That means I gotta find a 4th grader to write me their shittiest poem yet

streamer addressing their partner as "chat" × podcaster referencing their partner as "friend of the pod"

its fine to enjoy the work of an abusive or harmful person. you dont have to let that erode your own values. for example i am a huge fan of taylor swift

FRANCE: we're fancy WORLD: ok FRANCE: a fried ham sandwich is our national lunch WORLD: FRANCE: a fried ham sandwich with an egg is its wife

Today we had a flat inspection & I was mopping in my pj shorts & noise cancelling headphones belting out sea shanties when the agent let herself in (i wasn't check my phone & dudnt hear her knock) and I think we BOTH almost died of shock

Stack-bottom plates Boots with the fur All the crockery looking at herrrr

'growing evidence the Greens are taking Reform votes'

Fixed it

me @ all my trans friends today

When you remember incidences of suffering you have caused in the lives of others & also you are a meerkat

Still think it's wild that roople sent home the obvious crown candidate because she said the Karen videos ru watches all day aren't that funny

@milesklee.bsky.social new insane crisp flavour just dropped

The last supper was a ket & ghb function not a coke party

If someone told me "Honey Don't" had Chris Evans in a jockstrap I'd have watched it much faster

John Lithgow do the honourable thing challenge

Big girl drag queens who embark on their ozempic journey but still do their old makeup on their new face

Goon with the wind

Now I'm thinking of one of the many great @cbthorburn.bsky.social posts

People come up with complicated reasons why art/music scenes are less vibrant now but it is like 90% just this

what people sound like when they say i asked claude

it's always two dumb bitches telling each other "I love you and yearn for you"