When you walk in on the guinea pig owner trying to pry open the eye you tissue glued shut on purpose so as to give the impression of a peaceful death at their last viewing

Some really exciting news : he wearing a little hätte

I went to the gastrointestinal centre for excellence and they didn’t know you

Stupefied by his sheer beauty. What an incredible gift he is. If my job eventually kills me it will have been worth it to have saved him

Keep thinking about the scream as a rabbit passed an enormous kidney stone today and wanting to cry

You gotta start with the most basic percussion instruments with cats. You cannot go straight to woodwind.

I did a “bit” a few years back where I was engaging with a scammer who claimed to be Russell Crowe and posting earnestly about our relationship and more than one person DM’ed me thinking I was in a real relationship with the real Russell Crowe and they had some message they wanted to send him

Am I too old for such an accessory ?

Mr farting

If sweet disposition comes on and I don’t get into it then I’m experiencing a neurological event. They could have played it at my father’s graveside service and I’d have caught a vibe.

Middle management dick

When ghost riders in the sky comes on I get scared. That song is so scary.

Keep reminding myself I’m being chic and mysterious this year and I need to stop over sharing online

*voice shaking* oh cool

Oh wow!!!

Oh. No thank you I have stuff on

Well that can’t be good

Not that you give a fuck but here He Is

If you follow me and the. Immediately go back and like everything I’ve posted in the last 6 months I assume you’re a sexual pervert and block .

Nice weather… FOR DUCKS!!!! Nah I’m just playin 🤣

If I had been a hottie in highschool or had a harmonious childhood I think I’d be a lot less funny and a lot further up my own ass. So it’s good actually, and most importantly there are no lingering effects from feeling wholly inadequate for my entire life ,

I’m beside myself with adoration

This is an Imp Stan account now

Cheese platter utensils. Genuine need only.

Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous boy

People who live in erskineville are so proud of themselves for living in erskineville. Oh there’s a cafe called Fleetwood macchiato ? What fun. So cool.

Watching my 24yr old working visa backpacker coworkers eyes glaze over when I tell her if I don’t have fresh flowers in my house I freak out

Imp isn’t my first Sphynx. Pierre died suddenly at 5yrs old. I dream about him weekly, he comes out from under the house or from the bush and I’m jubilant that I found him again. And now it’s kinda like I did.

i was wondering what kinda tree this was, then i looked a bit closer and realised it was an oak tree

Giving evidence in the doo doo trial rn (cool new way of saying I’m on the toilet)

If someone threatens you with a law suit you can just threaten them back it’s free to do so

So this guy has in the interim refractired his wing and broken his humerus, he has metabolic bone disease and was deemed unreleasable today as he will never have full range of motion. So we found him a sanctuary so he doesn’t have to die!!!

This diva!!!!!

Love this stupid ass tattoo

Oh Yeah that’s the good shit

Who would euthanise this man!!! Who!!?!?

He’s home 😭

Peaches has seen it all before

I am bringing Imp home today! I didn’t have it in me after a nightmare shift yesterday But look at this little man! He deserves all that the world can offer him

Can’t go to the pharmacy in Broadway before work anymore because the sweet gal behind the counter saw My outfit and said she’s never had to go to the hospital but she’s glad there’s nurses like me there. To which I said “aw thanks” and now I don’t know how to walk it back. My pocket says Woof.

If your have a big meaty ass don’t walk near me!!!! Don’t come near me with your big ham

I cannot believe he is mine! His name is Imp!

Never in my life have I seen a more tone deaf ad from a pharmaceutical company. It was titled INFRINGEMENT NOTICE.

Type of shit I am getting up to on a Thursday morning

Might treat myself… why not

Come play with us….

He got surrendered and ummm he’s comin home w me tonight lol

I love the new mural at the end of my street!!!!!!

They are always saying sizzler is coming back. They are always saying Pizza Hut buffet is coming back. They will always say there is a sizzler or a Pizza Hut buffet still open in a far flung western suburb. But it’s not true.

My name is right there babe we email 6 times a week x