He’s go on tbe computer hehe

Has a dream there was a strip club called “Agreements”

Up early on a Sunday morn eating a nutritious breakfast and watching My Stories

Yesterday some people brought in a cold, wet, emaciated and terrified little possum who’s obviously been without mum for multiple days. When they found him he was curled in a ball on the wet ground trying to bury his face in the dirt. The feeling of giving him warmth and food rivals any drug

Watching someone shopping for a house on their insta stories when they owe me multiple thousands of dollars

Spent the day in the vet block of the aquarium yesterday!!!!!!!!

She KNOWS she’s a STAR

Ok this is seriously freaky and weird

Before I got my lips done men would be like wowwww u look like the Mona Lisa. Not anymore!!!! That busted old bitch could not AFFORD the volumes of juvederm I am injecting monthly

I’m lot less progressive when I’m stuck behind a slow they them

I get really sentimental when I think about how they’ve been my little gang for a decade through different houses and jobs and men

Found myself narrating to an invisible audience my “three f’s” philosophy on breakfast (fibre, fruit, fun) if anyone has one of those bolt guns they use to kill cows

When I tell people my husband is a chef they say oh wow lucky you. But when he tells people I work at the lizard hospital they’re like oh right okay.

Completely nuts about and obsessed with him!!! He’s LEARNING

This is why I’m slow to text back btw

I had a coworker once casually mention her family were christadelphians and tried to resurrect her aunt. Women are infinitely more interesting than men.

No. And mind your own business actually.

5 years of peaches!!!!!!!!

Went to a laundromat for the first time and felt an ancient female knowing. The babbling stream as we wash our rags, the singing and laughing and calling to our playing children, topping up my bubblepay card and signing up for bubblepay rewards,

I don’t want a menu explained to me I want to point at the picture

Running to get this from the shops in my pyjamas and they probably think “oh look at that harried mother… her wee bairn must be at home sick with the croup” NO it’s for my fat pug.

Don’t do drugs or drink or get in fights online anymore really so posting like this in the budgie groups on Facebook is the only hit I get

Got this out to play with but thought it might rile me up too much before bed

I watched a video of a woman’s pet cockroach dying set to Peter Paul and Mary’s 500 miles and I teared up. I am Reaching levels of white woman never before seen.

I work with all women and everyone’s periods synced to mine because I’m the alpha. But then one of us got pregnant and everyone’s went crazy. Hoping I can bring everyone back in to line!

Refusal to carry out convenience euthanasia has led to me being the most inconvenienced

Giving a little animal a nice life is the point of living I think!!

I’m sorry Maria by Leyla Ebrahimi is the song of the winter

Maru collapsed and died suddenly after a dental procedure a week ago and I can’t talk about it without blubbering. He was a really really special guy.

I’m holding people on the street up at knifepoint to tell them their dog has hip dysplasia and making them list what they’re doing to address it

Me and Bobby McGee club mix

“Emily Bronte would hate the new wuthering heights movie” she wouldn’t know what a movie is!!! She’s from the olden days!!

I’m the only one at work brave enough to stick my hand in the Roach Tank

Driving down sunset blvd on a massive comedown while the sun was setting and free fallin was on the radio was a pivotal moment for me. It’s when I decided to start being normal.

Normalise sometimes you try to squirt shampoo in to your hand in the shower and the bottle makes a loud fart sound but it wasn’t farting it was the bottle and not saying to your wife I heard a loud fart in the shower. Normalise not saying it was a fart.

Something people don’t really know aboht me… ahaha yeah I’m a nerd… I go home and put on my glasses and look at book. Just goes to show you can’t judge …

This is what this jumper means to me and is this spirit in which I wear it

Rare aesthetic: learning of the sudden and unexpected death of a beloved patient that I saw and held and smooched only yesterday whilst at the medieval fayre

You can be so tired and so sore and still have to go to the medieval festival. They won’t cancel it for one person.

@hotdogsladies.bsky.social for your consideration - this is how we manage beardie constipation

I love veterinary medicine!!!!

Always wanted to work with marine mammals as a kid but I didn’t apply myself in school and I’m in charge of these mother fuckers instead

I love street art

He’s stinkin up the bed like you wouldn’t believe

I’m just 👏 that 👏 fucking 👏 good 👏

Found myself wrist deep in the dumpsters in the dark looking for a severed rabbit leg that I’d binned and that an owner ended up wanting to keep and thought to myself “this is exactly where I’m meant to be”

representing the WLW community today I love gay broads

Incredible looking pigeon. Perfect specimen. This portends good.

Hello

Sitting here blank faced alone eating the free ice cream some lady gave me with a 4 pack of ultra absorbent period underwear in my handbag while my vag is spraying blood like a broken sprinkler