*Mikkelsen Hannibal Lector voice* and do you believe, Will, that it was someone else who pissed your pants? would another man do that? would a woman? which woman do you think pissed your pants, Will?

I think the switch being flicked in my head that killed most of April Fools for me was just the quiet realisation that 90+% of it is just fucking advertising

When it comes to AI, we are told we must abandon the past, look to the future and suffer what costs we must as it is inevitable. When it comes to green energy we are told we must not be too hasty to adopt technology, and we should hold onto fossil fuels which *are* dying.

I don't know that I fully agree with the "covid made everyone a bad driver" narrative, but I've noticed way more red light breaking in the last few years than I ever did before.

“Cars continue through that crossing while children are trying to cross” There is a need to address "lethal" conditions for school children in a Dublin suburb as motorists speed through the area with schools and make turns across red lights with little regard for children crossing the road, two…

Treasury should just be honest and give a flat 'no' to more projects rather than wasting time and money with busywork. www.railmagazine.com/news/west-yo...

"No one has it all figured out" I do. So does everyone else. That's just something we say to make you feel better

Fun fact, most catholics get yelled at by the pope exactly zero times in their whole lives but Censures Georg here has managed it like five times in six years

As a people, I don’t get to decide. My employer gets to decide, and apparently it’s critical I sit in an office looking at the same screen I can look at at home

The magic number for average homebuyer age is 35. Once either partner is over 35 they will not get a 30 year mortgage from most banks. So every additional year saving for a deposit means a lower borrowable amount. It's OK to call this a crisis.

Irony was killed stone dead ages ago. But I suppose they can still piss on its grave.

Seven Sisters London Underground station is named after a ring of 7 elm trees that were planted over 400 years ago. The 7 trees have been replanted a number of times, always by 7 sisters. The current sisters are Hornbeam trees & were planted in 1997 by 5 families of 7 sisters.

This video has been brought to you by a County Goverment supported by car companys. Fantastic victim blaming. Also, how does a blind person make eye contact with motorists when crossing?

Multi-stage job interviews are an abuse of power and a cruel waste of jobseekers' time.

this is a place of honor. something extremely cool is buried here.

your grandparents voting for reagan

The CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commission) did a study from 2017-2023. They found 193 fatalities and 87,400 injuries related to ebikes. In the same period, there were roughly 280,000 traffic fatalities and 15 million injuries on our roads. But yeah, let's make more laws about bicycles. 1/

This story is insane. Married an American, arrested at her greencard interview, flown out of state, nearly killed multiple times when her diabetes was ignored and then mistreated. When she finally got out? Found out her credit card had been used illegally. www.daylightsandiego.org/san-diego-wo...

An underrated addendum to the Bowling Alone story is that North America's largest bowling operator (Bowlero) is a publicly traded company whose business model involves buying mom and pop alleys, shutting down the leagues, and trying to attract casual, higher paying, one-off players.

Surely the Mail should be in favour of countries cracking down on immigrants who break the law?

My grandparents were childhood sweethearts, 14&16 when they got together, and it's a funny story in our family that granny wouldn't marry him until he'd saved enough money to buy her a washing machine. She was right! She was sensible!

Long shot, but can any design-heads identify this typeface that was used in Official PlayStation 2 Magazine in the early 2000s?

This is very dumb. Energy units aren't more strained when being used at home. Also, I question whether offices *are* more efficient given they often have things like AC, lights on 24 hours a day whether anyone's there or not, etc.

Wow it’s crazy they just did that shit out of nowhere

"ok, so you've split the effects budget fairly between explosions and CGI right?" "Yeah, I think so."

For the record, this is the correct way to treat British people. They thrive on little humiliations like this. They crave it.

that’s quite a short flight, even for twenty five quid

while there are some merits in the novelty of this idea I don't think that speeding drivers should have the choice to have their penalty points waived, and I'm not fond of the notion of outsourcing justice to the kids we should be protecting

Went to a screening of Ben-Hur (1959) today. The movie opens with a 5-minute overture that's just music with a black screen. As I was thinking about how you could never do that today, the projection stopped. After a while, they started the movie from the beginning and then stopped it again...

Not the Bluetooth drainpipe...

That's an ewok.

this site has a real bad "this post must be about me" problem and it's getting worse

That's quite the sign:

the 👏🏻 government 👏🏻 should 👏🏻 do 👏🏻 more 👏🏻 to 👏🏻 bring 👏🏻 down 👏🏻 fuel 👏🏻 demand

I don't think enough attention is given to the fact that FFG's housing plan: 1: Suggests rents must go UP for landlords to consider it a viable investment. 2: Envisions that those same landlords will keep building houses until their own investments will lose value through competition. #spéirgorm

Ron Perlman voice: "War... War don't sex."

Niles: It wasn‘t really your finest hour, was it? Fraiser: I thought it was a novel idea for treatment. How was I meant to recognise the great clown Pagliacci without makeup?

Daughter read my geansaí “Longford Arms Hotel” and i told her it says “Longford Legs Hotel” on the shorts, which is a great joke imo, but I get no respect of course

Paused MAD MEN while Ted Chaough’s partner was in the hospital and the HBO Max interstitial ad made it look like his dying wish was for a Whopper.

No, this is Sarah Connor in Judgement Day

I just saw an article about a woman who 'talks to animals' Big whoop I told a pigeon to fuck off yesterday

Dog owners : I love my perfect hound, my constant companion, my loyal angel who adores me Cat owners : this piece of shit arsehole bastard gives me absolutely no respect and doesn't pay rent. 10/10 I love them so much

Lobster spice bag! Remember the spice bag? It's back! In lobster form.

"a royal flush?!"

The correlation between being a Jan 6er and being a pedophile is incredible, it must be like several standard deviations outside what you’d expect just based on chance