why pay thousands for a therapist when you could just have a very intense conversation with a green goblin mask?

Stephen King should write a story about an aged horror author who’s been cursed with eternal life only to be slowly tortured by watching the world devolve into the horrors he wrote about and all he can do it tweet about it

"Well, Bloomberg won't return my calls anymore, so I can't afford the $10,000 buy-in, but I got this unused 'Mayor Cuomo' nameplate."

Wow! I did not have [THING THAT JUST HAPPENED] on my [THIS YEAR] bingo card!

why pay thousands for a therapist when you could just have a very intense conversation with a green goblin mask?

dawg they’re live laugh loving the white house. president homegoods

Silksong players only think Bilewater is bad because of the name. If it was called Candy Town everyone would love it.

Woke up today to the news

the older i get the more i envy him

to everyone who dressed up as a dumb stupid idiot last night: my culture is not your costume

theory proven into law

Wario is what happens when Mario is exposed to corrupt capitalistic influences at too young an age

kids these days aren’t even kissing thru the phone anymore smh

why do 95% of ICE agents look like they just won Mr. High Blood Pressure at the Cumberpatch County Fair?

baseball the looong way

tell your cat not to clock-in one more minute at the biscuit factory until they unionize

"the best i can do is two weeks of SNAP benefits"

Actually Frankenstein is the name of the movie

grandpa got mad at a commercial and now i can't eat in november

Frankenstein is in cinemas? Awful. He should be in prison!

Wasn’t able to watch WS live but apparently the Jonas Bros did some of a song at some point? I cannot express this urgently enough: NO. Baseball is not meant to be associated with entertainment. The beauty of baseball is its uninterrupted agony. The outside world must be barred from the stadiums.

gonna start pronouncing patio like ratio

this elliptical at my gym was once used by the dinosaurs

sorry babe, the plastic Dracula teeth stay ON during sex

can any scientists tell me how intense a shock i would need to endure for my bones to be visible for a second? i’m trying to impress a girl

all America needs right now is a streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds

when the Beatles said "i read the news today, oh boy" i felt that

my favorite Mario Party character is Shy Guy because same bro

when the Beatles said "i read the news today, oh boy" i felt that

After a lengthy period of difficult reflection, I have reluctantly decided to endorse my own party’s nominee. Despite being overwhelmingly popular with voters, I will be extremely careful to frame my endorsement using bad faith language cribbed directly from their opponent’s attack ads

in my him era

people think it's insane but this is what peak relaxing looks like just free to relax with any screen whenever you wanna just real shit

taking a load off and screen-maxing tonight

Man Dies After Secret 4-Year Battle With Gorilla https://theonion.com/man-dies-after-secret-4-year-battle-with-gorilla-1819571099/

you aren’t officially a dad until your sneeze breaks the sound barrier

just found out the guy from the Shaq-a-licious XL Gummies used to play basketball?!?

NPR Tiny Desk concerts. Great way to check out music and musicians not yet on your radar or just connect with some favorites. www.npr.org/2025/10/22/g... @npr.org

everybody needs to chill, they’re just making space for a ballroom

boastful mouse: i got hella cheese modest mouse: the dashboard melted but we still have the radio

my VPN is set to Toronto so i'm treating this like my World Series too

the East Wing of the White House is being demolished?? there goes my genius screenplay i was gonna show aaron sorkin

There’s an alternate version of Spider-Man where Peter Parker goes to the hospital after getting bitten by the radioactive spider and spends the rest of his life in isolated containment while scientists preform experiments on him and eventually turn him into a military asset

i’m starting to think this woke mind virus i caught might be 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 woke mind virus

Neil deGrasse Tyson condescendingly laughing at a box of cosmic brownies

Neil deGrasse Tyson condescendingly laughing at a box of cosmic brownies

i have been physical media pilled

Sighing, banging the @thelouvreof.bsky.social button