Congratulations to the company lawyers at Tylenol on the new lake house/boat/track car

Right! My second baby broke one of my ribs from the inside and all I could take was tylenol. Minimum help but christ, better than nothing.

I would bet money they’re coming for epidurals next.

As America's most pro-business leader in a generation, I will choose one company each week and accuse them of witchcraft

on vibes alone, I promise a community that collectively raises a barn over a weekend contains some autistic individuals

New rule: you don't get to ban it if you can't even pronounce it

AssedYaMidaFinD

"If you feel you can't tough it out, if you can't do it, that's... what you're gonna have to do, you can take a tylenol... a fever that's very very dangerous & ideally a doctor's decision & you shouldn't take it your whole pregnancy & you shouldn't take it for a child, when you... give them a shot"

watching kimmel tomorrow

Harvey Weinstein has so many “whatever happened to ____” victims that people’s perception of a normal career trajectory for actresses has been warped

wording of this is very interesting! we pulled him because we thought he said a bad thing BUT we've had conversations with him about it BUT we're going to imply that we scolded him BUT we're not really going to say why we changed our mind

I will celebrate by continuing to not watch Jimmy Kimmel but also being like hey this is good

$100 million euros is a lot of fucking money and nobody needs more than that.

Formatting the Test Space ebook which is a great time to look up thrust-to-weight calculations for a spaceship’s first and second stages

This is an emergency - not for me but for one of my children's friends - does anyone know anything about getting emergency medical funding in Arkansas? (I'm Canadian and know nothing.)

Seeing people who are just not wired for anything but rage and schadenfreude try to figure out the performance of grief is genuinely anthropologically fascinating

An extremely not online, slightly conservative (but anti Trump) person who hates late night shows told me they cancelled their Disney plus over this.

If anyone knows of a solid candidate for The Rapture who drives a low mileage Grand National, pls let me know their major cross streets

Start your week with a park! (In NYC, that notorious hellhole of depravity and crime.)

Same Annie, same

Thinking of switching universes.

So cool, and also incredibly cute kid alert

Your baby's first cry is something you dont really forget and in particular with all the complications. When you hear that loud cry it hits like a muscle relaxer because its a good sign.

It gets worse when you consider how many influential people in the US want to actively bring the Rapture on, but that does help to explain some of what’s going on politically. If Jesus isn’t literally driving living people to heaven in a minivan, the Rapture looks more like war, famine, or pandemics

What movie do you consider perfect?

What a day for typing out a skeet, imagining Certain People reading it, and deleting the draft.

Fall. You know what to do.

I’m only Irish-American, but I had a professor say “British Isles” in reference to Ireland and I sorted of Ha Ha’d but too loudly said UM NO.

think that realistically I would have always been deeply, deeply worried about the rise of far-right ideas in public discourse but I truly never expected this level of blithe elite complacency, turns out I do feel worried but mostly I feel like I'm going insane, watching them do.......nothing at all

everyone in charge of everything is stupid now because there is no meritocracy just endless loyalty tests if you can willfully believe the most insane bullshit you’re in the club. there’s no deep state. they’re all just really that stupid.

USGS gateway timeout lol

M 4.6 - 2 km ESE of Berkeley, CA Link: https://earthquake.usgs.gov/earthquakes/eventpage/nc75240492

Apparently I didn’t turn off my early warning alerts for bay area earthquakes, hope everyone is ok!

More and more convinced he had a major medical episode couple weeks ago

The kids who had third grade disrupted by the start of the pandemic and moved to virtual school just started high school this year

My dad was special forces, worked random jobs after the army. He drove a bus, graveyard shift. He always carried a gun. One morning when I was 7, Dad came home to drop me and my brothers off at school. I was in bed, under the covers. A shadow man was standing at the foot of my bed, staring at me.

"An old white woman got on the train and immediately pointed at me and told me to correct how I was sitting. I refused, so she went to the conductor and complained. The conductor called the police and stopped the train."

we have gone from a world in which we were told not to cite wikipedia because it was unreliable to a world where wikipedia might be the only reliable source left on the internet and we all owe a lot to the pedantic nerds who got us there

I literally never want to get a text from Al Franken. How do I stop this. How do I say, "I will never, ever, ever consider giving you money if you have Al Franken text me." Who do I have to convince that this is bad?

Monarch!

15% is my entry-level “unhappy with the service” tip

just overheard a little kid in a stroller say: “I DO NOT WANT TO BE SEEN BY PEOPLE!!!” highly relatable content my guy.

What's the matter babe you've barely touched your event horizon ribs

I did 12 years of Catholic school and this past week has shown me many Evangelical Christians in the US hold confusing and contradictory ideas of what gets people into heaven

In Swedish, a word for what you eat to bridge the gap between meals (or while waiting for the main course to cook) is stödmacka. It means "support sandwich." A similar word in Norwegian is ventepølse, or "waiting sausage."

New York! DROP EVERYTHING.

DEM VOTERS: Please do something! SCHUMER:

They’ve cut back on reviews and haven’t covered tons of great novels, but here this is.