good thing I wore my lucky Marshawn hoodie tonight

GO BEARS! 💙🐻💛

for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to watch House of Dynamite while fluffing my new Christmas tree and I really should have my head examined

what a dynamo!

uh it’s November 30th and Koreana Plaza hasn’t started building their gingerbread castle, this is a red alert emergency

@profanity.accountant ok I’ll bite

I cannot even begin to express my rage at this lie reading this through me back into my pandemic EMT life, attempting to resuscitate a child experiencing a cardiac arrest secondary to COVID while a father says “we heard that the vaccine was riskier than COVID for kids” and a mother wails in agony

this stupid fucking ballroom

did I take two miniature Christmas ornaments to the nail salon for design inspo today? Yes, yes I did.

the holiday hater has logged on

my large adult sons are having Thanksgiving dinner with their dad at Tommy’s Joynt in the city 🤣🤣🤣

made sure to give Keith a breakfast of turkey and giblets cat food, and not mariner’s catch like some thanksgiving heathen

someone tell me what kind of new (fake, slim, unlit) Christmas tree I should get, these choices are overwhelming

it’s four in the morning the end of December

They’ll be picked up next week for possessing child porn.

didn’t have to stop for any of the interminable red lights on the way to Costco tonight or on the way home, plus the Costco employee on cart duty was blaring an anti-Trump song in the parking lot. Things are looking up!

when holidays collide

A fabulous pre-code gag from "Wonder Bar" (1934)

Keith threw a full stainless steel water dish five feet across the kitchen like he’s not a geriatric cat, wtaf

A reminder this Thanksgiving about the time in a Gawker chat with Anthony Bourdain that I asked him "What was the best way to stick your dick in the mashed potatoes?" & he answered w "I like to come at the potatoes with the whole three piece unit at the same time. Kind of drop them in all together."

box truck night market!

After over half a century, the major hotel chains have started to catch up with the Madonna Inn.

a new manager at my service industry slacker job pissed me off so I took the first entry-level professional job I could find and worked my way up

back on my [amtrak] bullshit

this is a metaphor for waking up and logging on

so anyway here’s Keith, twice!

This is by far the worst news about a Kennedy and a fired-off round to break on the date of November 22

do you suppose RFK’s dick is as withered and sun-damaged as his face?

evergreen tweet

Zohran flip your hair again we need healthcare get him to give us healthcare.

brb taking my sequined dancing boots and heading to the cathedral

the son he always wanted

trump (after zohran mamdani charms him for 5 minutes): “we’re looking very strongly at implementing socialism, many people are saying it. they love redistribution of wealth and you’re hearing it more and more. there’s a term, they call it, a centrally planned economy. it’s an old fashioned term”

Mamdani is playing him like a fiddle, it's absolutely incredible.

RFK probably gave that eel herpes

attending a DEI meeting just to feel something positive

seriously, Keith??

if you had told me last year that the “official personal injury law firm of the San Diego Padres” would be one of our strongest soldiers in the war on fascism, I would have never believed you

seriously, Keith??

Mamdani is going to bring him that snowglobe that plays "Memories" from CATS and we're going to get government grocery stores nationwide

I have been feeling depressed and discouraged that this man has the power and influence he does at my school and in my profession And I am a tenured professor at Harvard! How much more protected can I be? Imagine how STUDENTS feel. Junior faculty. This quote nails it

Unmuted and rattling dishes around your sink during a zoom call??? COME ON, MAN.

I am indeed the hostess with the mostest

Pat Smear

rfk jr moaning in olivia nuzzi's ear

a few more months and he’s going to drop the N-word

You can love someone you love even if you don't love yourself🏳️‍⚧️ But if you love yourself, you can love both yourself and the person you love. Your love becomes twofold. So take care of yourself. Your soul is beautiful.

there’s no way he’s talking about an ICHRA, right?