me in 2006: some movies earn the right to be longer than 2 hours via their Qualities me in 2025: nothing good has ever exceeded 105 minutes

if you’re my friend and need to know why i am acting insane this weekend: defector.com/its-a-big-ba...

ugh is union pool “back”

dudes rock

delighted to share the symptoms of my Affliction with you all

my cat is standing on me because she wants breakfast / i cannot feed my cat because she is standing on me

emerging from the mets fan stage of despair and into actually this is funny and i’m laughing

remembering how long it took to find eric rudolph for absolutely no reason

i simply have nothing to say in a discoverable format about any events that have occurred today 🙂

lolmets: sometimes you have a 14 run lead but you have to replace your position player pitching with a real pitcher because he’s gonna blow it.

Incredible things happening in the world of Facebook AI slop

a rat running along the water’s edge at the prospect park lake, looking more free and alive than i could ever imagine

a24 horror movie about me being driven insane by the 2025 new york mets

there’s a little jump scare in Inland Empire and I screamed so loud the rest of the theater laughed at me

commute home went well

next year’s fantasy team is definitely going to be the birthday boys baseballsavant.mlb.com/birthday-index

Showing up late to a four-hour training webinar is self-care

emailing my advisor to tell her i need to completely change my dissertation proposal www.walmart.com/ip/I-Love-Se...

another one for the carlos rodón disappointed face file

i refuse to find out what any of these mets sponsors are. moomoo. invesco qqq. philip k dick-ass companies

why i can’t come to work today: i saw an anime pharmaceutical ad and i need to lie down for a while

[climbing over the backs of chairs in the auditorium to get to the microphone] moneyball

they have given us unfiltered access to baseball player opinions again www.nytimes.com/athletic/640...

lets go mets baby love da mets

[unwavering, unblinking eye contact] dave eggers

we got spaghetti, and blankets.

tragically, acab must include fu zai www.nytimes.com/2025/05/16/w...

there were at least three mets at that concert. the mets are 1-4 since may 15th. gothamist.com/news/measles...

baseball fans (women)

cool night if you like new york baseball. incredible jobs from our large dumb sons.

hi i was watching baseball how is the federal government doing

cory booker maxing out his establishment democrat exp by endearing himself to msnbc boomers while accomplishing absolutely nothing

In which Michael Kay explains the characters and plot of Japanese manga and anime series "One Piece" to Paul O'Neill

it’s baseball opening day~~~~ best wishes to my fantasy team of the littlest guys in the league

i’m sure donald trump will act extremely normal when the dodgers visit the white house

breakfast baseball yet another exciting baseball innovation for the post-covid era

dolphin break www.bbc.com/news/videos/...

all the cool worker-owned websites should make a webring and then do a webring subscription bundle. just another great idea from me, no charge.

in case anybody was wondering whether i'm getting up to some absolute sicko shit this baseball season: I found a python package that scrapes all the major baseball stats websites

it has come to my attention that the atlanta braves are publicly traded, giving me a valuable opportunity to become the world's first activist investor in a baseball team.

severance should be on at 8pm so i can go to bed on time, thank you

the dinosaurs didn’t all die at exactly the same moment, is the thing

ok i know ai is bad but i let siri pick tv screensavers from the pet photos on my phone and

blasting this from my phone as my cat arrives for his neurology appointment the vet techs start screaming “Jonathan’s here!!!” They exclaim youtu.be/N-zgdGQB4S4?...

lecturing the entire wendy’s on how hochul’s congestion pricing pause laid the legal groundwork for trump’s unbanning of tiktok

congrats to trump on his new army of feral teens

david lynch meant a lot to me as a little asshole in a rural town who everyone thought was weird and in turn didn't understand anybody else, but who was also really into being a girl scout.

i am honestly just so over everything right now

anyway i am rewatching the knick.

bluesky increasingly seems like the unholy union of 2013 twitter and liberal boomer facebook. press 5 if you agree