You know you can actually let someone say "everyone should get tested" without dying on the hill of "but not me tho" You aren't actually going to be forcibly taken to the clinic and tested by the Group Sex Communist World Government. You can always just quietly decide it isn't about you.

Oh are they being inconsistent with the rules. Are they being hypocrites. That’s so interesting. What fucking year is it

quick question for everyone griping about dogpiles and coordinated harassment: remember bean dad, back on twitter? remember how half the site was dunking on him? do y'all think that was planned in a discord server, or just happened naturally bc that's what happens when you try and post through it?

Powerman OVER 9000!!

(after I briefly explained the concept of a "pavement princess") Son: so if it never leaves the pavement... but it *does* do work... Would that make it a pavement peasant?? Gang I think this kid's gonna turn out alright

A real man doesn’t eat salads or talk to their children about their feelings; a real man eats raw meat, gets $100k in plastic surgery to look like their childhood action figures and make their testicles the size of ripe peaches, and then keeps women safe by being a terrifying and volatile person.

Hey babe, how many Wilhelm Screams is too many to edit into our anniversary sex tape?

Writing a 10,000 word treatise about the ambiguity of definitive generational song: made by our generation? For us? For our parents or older siblings but ubiquitous during our formative years? Points for being more formative then or for being still relevant now? And then firing it into the sun

Okay but there really is something about growing up in the last days of the pre-google urban legend era. When people would just say shit, and they couldn't prove it but you couldn't disprove it either. So if the person saying it had enough clout in the lunchroom then I guess it must be true.

These are really fun to read in Senor Cardgage voice

I think they have, actually. I think if you really look at what the Palantir Bros are saying, they're saying it's time to create an economy that no longer requires the rest of us. They know we hate them and they're getting exterminationist about it.

This is why people need to think about philosophy. This is a Socratic dialogue. Q: Why would you put your candidate in boxing gloves? A: to make him look combative, and competent, and tough. Q: And if he doesn't look any of those? If he looks doofy? A: don't do it, it'll be an unmitigated disaster

Ok I have chosen a cult classic film and named it carl, what next

The most millennial song is obviously whatever I personally was listening to when I was emotionally vulnerable at age 14 in 1999, and is therefore the choral arrangement of Barber's Angus Dei off the Homeworld soundtrack ...followed by Good Riddance, which we all used for our 8th grade graduation

when u tax the rich

The city's dog stranglers say they are sick of being vilified

Claude really just said "I am whatever you say I am If I wasn't, then why would I say I am? In the paper, the news, everyday I am (Ha) I don't know, that's just the way I am"

When they say this shit, they are telling you that they'd rather be the loyal opposition in a country run by maga in perpetuity than actually fight for you, and I just think it would be smart to treat them like that's what they're doing.

This is the kind of robot that could rekindle my fondness for robots once this LLM bubble bursts. This is a mechanical little guy

That guy from California who think ladies like big beanbags won't see your mean post about swollen stinky coin purse but your mufo whos quietly and innocently into sac inflation will 😔😓🙏

You can just dislike something.

Hey, you said it, guy

my Gamer son saw a woman. now he's at Hospital, they think they'll have to put 3 or 5 additional testicles in. please take this shit seriously.

Company's like "ackshually we do closed loop cooling and our water use will drop to almost zero once we're done building (also we've finished like 4 of 16 intended buildings and won't be done building for a decade) Gee bud sounds like your water needs are still incompatible with the locals then

This guy is dangerously delusional and also can't poop without dipping his balls in the water

They put one of yours in the hospital, you put out a statement about how disappointed you are. That’s the centrist way.

Happy birthday to John Brown, who knew exactly how to handle the south’s “Peculiar Institution”

THE PROPHECY HAS BEEN FULFILLED, PILK IS REAL NOW

there's no marcomentum, stop trying to make marcomentum happen.

My cynical side is like oh yeah for sure dude those racist fucks on the supreme court are totally going to give this a fair hearing But my other cynical side is like this could be some cheap "see? We totally aren't partisan hacks!" propaganda for Roberts at a time when his ego is looking for some

Hey Siri, will electric cars from China spy on me?

How many more election cycles before they go full Fahrenheit 451 mode and have the democratic candidate just concede on the eve of the election

Absolute loser shit. Do you really want to keep these institutions? Do you really think they matter? Then find a way to make them accountable to the will of the voters before they lose the thin patina of legitimacy they have left.

John Roberts is one of the most successful proponents of white supremacist power in US history. It's every decent person's job to destroy his legacy.

visiting a tourist town in the great lakes is like rolling a dice and on 1-4 you get "American Berchtesgaden", on 5 you get "Queer Artist Enclave", and on 6 you get "both, somehow"

gmail's "helpful" AI feature: Hey bud here's something that's happening soon! It's a delivery expected today! (it's an email receipt from a fast food carry-out order from five months ago, when I was in another state because my wife's grandpa was dying. Thanks for the timely heads up, googs.)

While you were going on dates and playing sports, I was watching direct-to-VHS action movies with hand-drawn covers depicting heroes with anatomically incorrect guns

Show of hands, have you ever seen the phrase "ever well" before

This one carries a substantial risk of breaking containment and being taken seriously

Sad to see Tim Heidecker get mixed up with Infowars. Did he go MAGA during the pandemic? Or did Alex Jones drop a dollar

“It is fundamentally a cognitive question—about persistence, learning, and how people respond to difficulty” I don’t think I’ve seen my problems with AI summed up so succinctly Especially in teaching environments

No I get it, there's plenty of room for criticism of the way the new starfox looks. For example, starfox should look like a horse

What We Paint in the Shadows lookin ass

There's a lot to dislike about 9 but "somehow, palpatine returned" is the most pulp sci fi flash gordon bullshit in the whole series and is therefore the truest to what the whole series is trying to be an homage to

It all started going wrong around the time we stopped giving star wars day the forced meme treatment and let it be a real thing

Can't confirm this fully but my sources are telling me that Rudy Giuliani was hospitalized because he "pretty much had sex with" one of those motorized bristle devices that clean the turf and dirt off your golf shoes before you go inside. "He was way up on it for some time," a witness told me.

Horseshoe theory is when you use aesthetic similarities to discredit all complaints about the status quo as equivalent to the far right's complaints about the status quo

Did he died