the guy who made the first doge meme in 2013:

looking at my list of twisted opinions may drive you insane... but to me, "insane" is more like "normal"

just got off the phone with rfk jr. apparently they're releasing the black death into new york city's water supply tomorow

this is how you know ebola's gonna be a pandemic

republicans love death so much they're willing to kill themselves for no reason

imagining a world where trumpism becomes a religion. and you can't insult him because it would be like insulting jesus

news: ebola is going to spread at the world cup when spectators interact! the american lack of walkability and public transit:

hmm. i just saw that a new animated pilot just dropped. i wonder if there's any porn of it

i love it when the news gives me new hypothetical things to worry about

republicans have all three branches of government. can't they just let us have one or two woke movies?

Holy shit

i’m not saying i was in the world trade center or the pentagon, but i watched 9/11 live during the school day & survived; give me money

*Picard talking to replicator voice* t-girl gay hot

white people on instagram in 2020:

Keiko Fujimori every five years

when you mention octothorpe and all you get back is that hashtag stare

back in the day we called it an octothorpe. now it's just a hashtag. western civilization truly has fallen.

effective altruism guys will whisper about roko's basilisk and then just repeat the entire plot of terminator

Instead of "No Smoking" signs, there should be "No WOKEing" signs! Like and share if you agree #lungcancer

"i am israeli and this is my art"

my ass is not getting bingo

hey @ryan07king.bsky.social this was really fucking weird to ask my friend — regardless of how married & pregnant she is; i didn’t quote you because obvious reasons here

it's crazy how we've actually gotten worse since covid. we lived through the biggest pandemic in a century and were immediately like "let's leave or defund every organization which might be able to help"

i'd like to introduce my new virus. i'm calling it hantabolaronavirus

September 11, or as it's commonly called, the "Miracle on the Hudson,"

2020: only by working together can we stop the virus! solidarity with our doctors and essential workers 2026: bomb the airports. put everyone sick in jail

the miracle on the hudson is probably the craziest airplane-related incident in 2000s new york city

imagine writing such bad nursery rhymes you need to put the moral on the bottom. this is why aesop is the goat

september 22, 2025 trump (in white house, crying): my economy. my approval ratings. all gone. oh lord whatever shall i do the military industrial complex:

i've never disagreed with a video more in my life. except for, like, video of 9/11

FACK CHECK: False. I actually think it's kind of cool when they name the song something completely unrelated

As president I will stop doing Mars. We should be doing Venus instead. All space telescopes will be dismantled because of do Venus #becca2028

bro if they had these in 2015 i would have killed myself

my 2028 presidential platform: we don't need like 90% of emojis. as president i will get the number of emojis down to a nice and simple 100

they forgot to put me on here

they ruined it

first time i've ever seen german news be even moderately critical towards israel

Pakicetus in 50 million BC:

kier starmer kicking leftists out of the labour party vs kier starmer passing a single law

accidentally writing "toxic train" instead of "toxic trait"

People from as far away as last year accuse me of confusing time and space

more like team mcYESTERDAY if you ask me!

donald trump coming out mid-final for his mandatory presidential penalty kick

three years into this shit and the media is still running cover for israel. i'm so tired