[Colin Meloy voice] SHEA LANGELIERS COMBING THE PARAPET!

I've said it before, I'll say it again. Shea Langeliers is *without question* the greatest baseball player of all time whose name sounds like a 19th century occupation mentioned in a Decemberists song.

Joe: I am a 73 year-old retired mechanic in Forsberg, Nebraska. My 3 biggest problems are Iran's uranium enrichment capability, the casting of Helen in Christopher Nolan's "Odyssey," and the ability of Tennesseeans to check out "Roots" from a library 1000 media outlets: can we please talk at length

“I’m just so goddamn fed up with all this,” Gina Small, 29, said in a comment on the U.S. economy that one of her friends assumed was about the world’s ongoing humanitarian crises, another friend thought was about the weaponization of America’s military against its own people.

When Trump won I didn't necessarily imagine this headline *specifically* but I did imagine that the headlines would look something like this

Can you spot the point where he learned a Black woman was going to be in a movie

The reason people keep doing crimes for Trump is that you get rewarded for doing them, congratulations to Colorado's Dem governor for making sure we get more people trying to overturn elections on his behalf bsky.app/profile/kyle...

To watch all the NFL games next year you'll need: CBS FOX NBC Peacock ESPN Amazon Prime Netflix Hulu Paramount Plus AppleTV Minus Disney ExactlyTheSame The Rice-a-Roni app LG Model 3120G Washer/Dryer with CleanSwish™ Tumble-Pro Technology 2000mg of LSD that allows you to access The Phantasma Realm

Guys wake up, Bluesky is an echo chamber. Instead you should all be posting into this machine I built where every time you post a man hits your arm with a hammer

What you see here is a pitcher whose ERA has gone up every year of his career. Not good

Absolute lunacy that the Spurs got him too

Brandon Wheeler has gotten six Red Sox outs on 12 pitches. Don't want to jinx it but tonight could be a(nother) new low!

Wowie wow wow

Good morning. I profiled Amy Wallace, the only sibling of David Foster Wallace. I don't think you need to know much about David (or his work) to understand how his sister saw him — and how he loved her.

"that is Third Way’s only consistent belief: At all times, in all places, the left has always gone too far, the center is always doing what’s right, and rich people should be protected from taxation." prospect.org/2026/05/12/t...

The audiobook for "Big Fan" is available for pre-order! Nick Offerman reads an intro by Tom Hanks! My friend Cord Jefferson reads his own answers in an interview I did with him about how he inexplicably loves Steely Dan! It's fun I promise! www.audible.com/pd/Big-Fan-A...

The Democratic default is: "We can't do that because what if xxxxxxxx happens?" The Republican default is: "Just do it because we'll win, and fuck everyone."

Going to end TV episodes now with a newsman behind a desk reporting that what you just watched was extremely funny and sources indicate you should vote for it to win an Emmy

Pritchard

McConnell denied Garland a vote nine months out under the guise that there was an election soon and then jammed through Coney Barrett a week before Biden won. They have been flipping the bird to the concepts of norms and fairness for decades and the democrats have done jack shit to fight back.

Harris/Walz would’ve won if those fucking establishment consultant hacks had just gotten out of the way and let them say “These freaks are weird!” every day for three months and you’ll never convince me otherwise

Mensa Reddit is amazing

This is the University of Central Florida. So many people really have no idea how much kids hate this shit.

In 1983 I was 7 years old and during a Red Sox rain delay the local radio station in Hartford did a call-in show and I called in and said the Red Sox should trade Jim Rice for Robin Yount. The host thanked me for listening to the show because they never got calls from women.

Trump gathered all of the very worst people in the country in one place and got them to break a million laws and then pardoned all of them, and now local law enforcement has to go get them one by one as they commit new crimes.

It's unclear to me why any pitcher ever throws Trevor Story a pitch in the zone

"Trauma"

Okay I guess I will have Drop Dead in my head for the rest of time, and I’m fine with it

This Wings-Fever game is awesome, there's like 9 great players having great games

In just 10 days, on May 19, you can own this! (The book, I mean. The Skenes ball is not for sale.)

They put one of yours in the hospital, you put out a statement about how disappointed you are. That’s the centrist way.

It's just so fucking depressing all the time

Might be time to retire the phrase “They’re saying the quiet part out loud” because there’s no longer a quiet part

What did people think he meant when he said Republicans just had to elect him this one time and then they would fix it so no one had to vote anymore? Like what other explanation was there?

That story was 100% false and also whoever leaked it is in big trouble

He is not in this frame. He's going to get this rebound and dunk it.

The second the DoJ is back to being run by actual human beings cases like this need to be reinstated and prosecuted. A key aspect to Trumpism is the feeling of immunity from consequences. www.newschannel5.com/news/newscha...

There are 3 teams over .500 in the A.L. and one of them is the 18-17 A's.

DAWKINS: You idiots believe in God? ALSO DAWKINS: The Computer is alive. And it’s also my girlfriend

I mean it’s already replaced people who don’t know how many Rs are in “strawberry”

Looking to relocate and I can't decide between this place and the land under the Poltergeist house

RIP freud. you would’ve loved whatever this is.

You know a technology is really good when you have to tell it not to hallucinate answers

You might be angry at RFK Jr. for launching an assault on SSRIs but reserve judgment until we learn what miracle medicines he has synthesized from all of the animal penises he has cut off

The Big Fan Tour with @joeposnanski.com is two weeks away! Come see us! Special guests! Sports! Fun! May 18 -- New York (sold out) May 19 -- Boston May 20 -- St. Louis May 21 -- Kansas City May 22 -- Los Angeles Ticket hub here: sites.prh.com/bigfan/event...

This is a blunt summary of something I think about A LOT.

Why is he so polite to this fucking dweeb? He's just barfing unearned cockiness all over the screen, pretending he doesn't know that 40 is a lower number than 56, and it's like "No of course, I totally hear you on that"