Gov. Pritzker just sent President Donald Trump an invoice of $8.6 billion after his tariffs were ruled illegal. 🤣

Two more answers on the board! Who wants to guess them?

Do temper tantrums cause strokes? 🤣 Poor Donnie is having such a bad day. 🤣 (From @meidastouch.com)

The Tangerine Tyrant is throwing tantrums today after SCOTUS declared his tariffs illegal.

Wesley R. Dingus, the 48‑year‑old mayor of Butler, Ohio, has been charged with two misdemeanor counts of voyeurism following a Richland County Sheriff’s Office investigation. Dingus is accused of sniffing the previously worn underwear of a minor relative in his care.

So, if Trump's tariffs cost the average American household over $1000, does that mean we should all get refunds now that SCOTUS has declared them illegal?

But when you point out how fucking senile and demented this is, MAGATS will say, "He's just joking, you know, Trump being Trump, and we don't have a sense of humor." As if this orange turd has ever been funny...

If you want to take a sabbatical from social media, don't announce it. Just make your last post something like, "I wonder if there's a bear in this cave?"

“Epstein approved” signs showing up near Republican candidate's signs in Texas. Savage.

When I say you should grow a pair, I mean boobs.

That's how you do it.

Do y'all remember in middle school when you could buy carnations for people to be delivered in home room and the popular people got a ton; the normal people got like one and the rest of us weirdos had to sit there while our school engaged in active bullying? A day for love.

We don't tar and feather people anymore, and it shows.

Achievement unlocked: new historical embarrassment.

Nothing says innocence quite like your lawyer threatening to kill you.

Currently standing in a bakery trying to decide if I want to be happy or look good in a 2 piece this summer.

At this point, if they're still wearing the red hat, I'm going to just assume that they too are pedophiles.

"Golden haired Twatwaffle" 🤣🤣

I don't understand how I can get so much joy from covering my pets with blankets and watching the lump move around.

I wonder if when penguins slide on their tummies it's fun or is it just nature's equivalent of us driving a car.

For a supposed estate mogul, it's surprising that Donald Trump let President Obama live rent-free in his head for as long as he has.

Make it happen, America!

When Bondi is finally in prison, I will happily pay for a guard to walk by her cell every single day, at the top of the hour, 24/7 and yell the Dow Joned Industrial Average at her.

🚨RARE SCOTUS win!

When someone is tailgating me, I spray my windshield washer fluid and the payoff is seeing them turning on their wipers.

"The model is 5'11 and wears size 6" OK?? What does that have to do with me?

I'm sorry, but no...ain't no way I'm gonna trust a man this much. 🤣

Someone made the comparison of Donald Trump and his sons Eric and Don Jr to Saddam Hussein and his sons Uday and Qusay and I just can't get that parallel out of my mind. It's like some sort of evil triad that keeps repeating over and over.

Andrew should just move to the US and become a member of Trump's cabinet. Obviously, he wouldn't be prosecuted.

Makes perfect sense...

They haven't fixed anything in nearly 3 decades.

It’s always “Why aren’t you married yet?” and never “I have an old rich friend on the verge of death I’d like to introduce you to.”

A stupid thing for Israel to do since it will only give Carlson more attention. He's had been out of the news so long that I had forgotten he existed. Thanks to Israel, he is back on the news.

There are two sides to every story. Mine comes with queso and guacamole.

Including Nancy Mace...I thought Mace was all about the truth coming out?

Therapist: "What do we say when we're sad?" Me: "ADD TO CART"

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others." - Matthew 6:5 ""No, much darker" - Rubio 5 seconds before air probably

"When you're an adult you can do whatever you want" is the biggest line of bullshit my parents ever fed me as a kid.

Trump's pick for Secretary of Commerce...

Getting Botox. Not because of aging, but because I want my face to stop reacting before my brain has a chance to weight in.

I propose that we call the potential war on Iran “The Trump-Epstein Files War.”

If courage is buying an entire tub of Ben & Jerry's and immediately throwing out the lid, then yes, I am definitely brave.

Step 1: Sharp right turn in politics and do it loudly. Step 2: Step into the Right-wing Jesus pipeline. The process for those guilty of something and are looking for the next audience in order to stay relevant.

Don't get me wrong. I love being a woman and alive, but yeesh! How many more times am I gonna have to shave my legs?!

Operator: “The call is coming from inside the house!” Me, being murdered: “I have a landline?!”

This many detention centers aren’t needed for deportations...

*Shopping around with a friend* Friend: "Is that a wedge of cheese in your bra?" Me: "If you wanted any, you should have brought your own snacks!"

White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt accidentally admitting that Trump actually did post that racist video himself.