after growing up in an environment where seemingly the goal of every pot brownie maker was to launch you to the moon every single night, the mainstreaming of low dose weed gummies in the 2-10MG range is probably the best thing that has ever or could ever happen to weed and "weed culture"

It would be embarrassing under any circumstances to spend a year on this reactionary horseshit, but to have spent the year in which graduate students were sent to concentration camps for op-eds and the federal govt launched a no hold barred attack on academic freedom is just beyond

my new job at the EPA is to hunt and destroy every last goddamn bee they’ve ever saved

Polka going accordion to plan.

we did not protect ourselves which is how we wrecked ourselves

starting a new social media platform called Threats and istg you mfs better all join it if you know what's good for you

Actually, it's Dr. Cookie's monster

Bottom, top or vers? (doubles luge) 🛷

The only things keeping me going are audacity and spite

this gender reveal fucking sucked

im tired, boss

911: what is your emergency HUMPTY DUMPTY: help i’ve fallen and i can’t get up 911: hang on sir we’re sending horses and men HUMPTY DUMPTY: what no i need an ambulance 911: horses and men sir

I love having a melancholic personality because the sun could be shining at a very specific angle after it rains and it will destroy me

everyday is hump day for Sisyphus

meanwhile, on Hawaiian bluesky

I'm not binge watching "Don't Trust the B---- In Apartment 23", we're binge watching "Don't Trust the B---- In Apartment 23"

It’s impossible to overthink every aspect of your life, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try

listen up, nines. a three is posting

Happy International Day of Women and Girls in Science! #InternationalDayofWomenandGirlsinScience

Long distance relationships are so bad . . . it's a long way from my couch to the fridge.

"Rue the day" = drama "Roux the day" = gravy

calling them "chick peas" is sexist, which is why I call them ladybonzo beans

I Can't Believe We're Not Better™

girl, same

If you're happy and you know it, wtf?

This app really needs an edit buffoon

your body is a netherland

Ahmet: what is going on man? John Tesh: You guys know any Black Sabbath? Dweezil Zappa: ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡᴇ ᴅᴏ﹗

finally discovered how many angels can dance on the head of a pin (just me, i kicked them other bitches off)

ATTENTION: inspired by @amybrown.xyz, the Please Ask Me About Gay shirt is out. 100% of the profits will be split among: • National Center For Transgender Equality • It Gets Better • The Trevor Project • National Queer and Trans Therapists of Color bornmiserable.threadless.com/designs/plea...

With all my aches and pains, if I were a car, I'd fail inspection every year.

actually on bluesky we don’t call them drafts we call them gusts

bet curling feels real good if you're the stone

Never felt unstoppable before. Highkey stoppable at all times

when giving a gift, it's the thought that counts but also the ebay resell value

Post a banger that isn't in English

Literally the only music I listened to today was Bad Bunny, who I had never listened to before yesterday.

jiminy glick in the streets, ed grimley in the sheets

The deepest conversations I've had in life have been with myself.

I'm almost wishing for an alien invasion. We could use some good news.

That is not a hug emoji its a damn jazz hands emoji

not sure what I expected tbh

Bobbidi blue would be a great color for a bibbidi

Watched the halftime show. I guess where I fundamentally depart from MAGA is that, when I see something like this, celebrating a culture that's not quite mine, with some references I don't get, something that's not For Me ... I *like* it. I like seeing inside other worlds. Why wouldn't you?

It's fucking hilarious that fucking Kid Rock can't even fucking karaoke his own fucking shitty songs.

BREAKING: Riots in Philadelphia following Seahawks win

RIP Hunter S. Thompson you would have loved football

think it’s safe to say bad bunny is the mvp