Rock bottom? get it?....because the rock does a finisher called the rock bottom and the joke is a dad joke that may have hit... My dad jokes are wasted on you.

I feel like skeet has hit rock bottom

i bet kevin hart always feels like he’s stuck between the rock and a johnson…AS IN THE HARD PLACE HASANYONESAIDTHIS

I asked the country roads to take me home to the place I belong and they took me a town called boringdumbbuttheadsville

Me when a lady shows me her boobies

How to start a fight over a person

Random sad music list. Enjoy it or don't. Either way I'm just feeling these today. Not sad just sometimes like listening to sad songs.

I missed the quote chain on mtv not playing music videos and picking one that you liked. So here you go.

Stop liking my anxiety skeet with the typo. It’s giving me more anxiety

baby, it's still very cold outside. no you leave, i'm staying under the covers.

I just want what every guy wants, a thick thighed roller derby girl to squat over my face.

Oops I did it again* *Overshared

your honor, there’s still dipshits out here not using alt text

*long squeaky fart noise*

*gives all the moots forehead kisses* Goodnight

signal is compromised but you can just post your secret messages on my posts, no one reads them anyway

you’ve heard of dude wipes now get ready as i launch: dude therapy

I have so much muted that i basically see five posts per day lately guess doom is hot rn

Oops! All Buttstuff

i'm gonna do my best to stay clear of posting anything political it's for my mentals, please respect also, deez nutz

Deleting signal now that I know it's compromised. Find me on yahoo chat. I'll be the rainbow text underlined and italicized

Tiddies and Nip Nops definitely sounds like a British dish

morale isn’t going to improve until we see more titties on the timeline

You had me at Will A Speeding Train Suck You Off.

Second Handjob: The Discount Sex Shop

hey lay off Bovino he's about to be enlarged and injected into a scientist

I made you a self portrait using a sharpie held in my butthole, please respond.

I just learned why I never follow recipes. My daal is failing. Probably some white lady gave me the wrong measurements on my water to lentil ratio

I’m starting a band called “dildos in the dishwasher and daddy issues” Who’s in?

I spend a lot of time thinking about butts.

I love when the timeline vibes are just right. @gimmethekspecial.bsky.social @stev.bsky.social

I sang “2 Become 1” by Spice Girls directly into your Ring cam, please respond

I died doing what I hated. Shoveling snow.

Ah yes...the fun of being a dude over 40 looking into a mirror and realizing a white forest of noise hairs is sticking out so far it might as well be part of your mustache

I'm convinced there are three people when it comes to winter. 1. Person who has never worked in or shoveled snow (loves winter) 2. Person who has worked in snow or shoveled snow (hates winter) 3. Person who has worked in snow or shoveled snow (loves winter)* *Potentially a psychopath

Is that a French dip in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

i peed our names together in cursive on the snow, pls respond

after molling it over, i’m tossing the night court joke.

Buttholes are not mentioned in the Bible

At this point my car battery and I are in a toxic on again off again relationship

frankie just power slid across the room nbd

you can always trust knitters because you know they've got skein in the game

Did you know that yak cheese may cause diarrhea in some dogs. Today I found out burritodog is one of those dogs. Shit.

everyone needs a forehead kiss and chocolate chip cookie

inhibitions are dumb send

Tomorrow is just today in a different outfit

I like to pretend all my moots are celebrity alts. That way I care way less if I hurt your feelings.

*eating imitation crab like it's string cheese