Fernando Alonso sticking the boot into F1 again 😂

Fernando Alonso is, in the absolute best way possible, a freakish anomaly. He first won a Grand Prix when kids were destroying the family computer with Limewire. Now he’s 44 years old and you’d STILL count on him for a result if there’s a chance. Madness.

Q: Do we have a World Champion who is not the best driver? Fernando Alonso:

Lando haters are so funny like how can you bet putting that energy into being wound up by a tiny, delightful elf

Fernando Alonso, a two-time world champion, holds the record for the most race starts in F1 history. With a career spanning over two decades, Alonso made his debut in 2001 and continues to compete at the highest level, demonstrating remarkable longevity and skill. #f1 #formula1

Trump 0-3 on indicting Tish James and just had his ass handed to him by Indiana Republican legislators he threatened and bullied. Also new low in AP poll at 36% approval.

Love to be correct

Look at this dog I drew

ME: I met someone 🥰 FRIEND: ME: FRIEND: ME: FRIEND: ME: FRIEND: it’s a therapist, isn’t it? ME: it’s a therapist, yeah

I know we’ve been talking about the 25th Amendment being invoked for years now, but we should probably be talking about it a lot more and a lot more seriously right now.

My Roman Empire

I held my font choice like a god damn secret recipe. I don’t remember what it was called but got it from fonts dot com or something. Everyone wanted it. Too bad!

Sitting here waiting for my Walmart pickup that will never come out but y’all’s Michigan jokes are giving me life

What if the staff person he had an affair with was a spy from Ohio State

The Amazon ad where the kid gives a gift to his girlfriend’s dad….that family is scary as fuck. Run kid

you just know buddy the elf and zooey deschanel were doing it absolutely freaky nasty every night. like tying each other up with tinsel and shit

babe I opened my chest cavity for you to crawl into, pls repost

Trumplethinskin is genius. Thank you for that roast.

proof of my blanket fort building skills

i wonder if lavender thinks of me in winter, too

why does my brain want to start the day in the middle of the night

i'm sorry i'm all out of bangers. can i interest you in a couple of knockers instead

imagine hating me and i'm just over here trying to shrink myself so i can live in a dollhouse

planes, trains, and interdimensional portals

went here and saw your mom’s picture up under the employee of the month sign

You're allowed to have 12 apps open at once if you are pure of heart.

Every part of this is bonkers. The intro is bonkers. The transition to his health is bonkers. The mention that other presidents didn't need cognitive exams is bonkers. The claim that this screening test is somehow hard is bonkers. The idea that criticism of him is treason is bonkers. All of it.

i'm sorry for clogging your feed with flowers! i'm collecting them into a thread bouquet 💐

Michael Dorn is foiiine, respectfully. Respectfully.

My ancestors are pretty disappointed I never got in to animal husbandry.

Me at McDonald's: I would like a Big Mac. McDonald's: That'll be $5.75 Me: *sigh* paywalled

Because if I don’t know you and we’re on a plane there’s no reason for you to talk to me. Let my Xan work for both of us. 🥳

Old Fashioned’s are too grown for me. 😆

my cramps are horrific can someone teleport me some tea and toast

I think the actual appeal of AI is not so much that it saves time or money — I actually believe people who say they put a ton of work into refining prompts — but that it “democratizes” art by removing the need for any skill beyond having an idea. It’s a fuck you to talent, basically!

dr frankenstein created a man monster because he couldnt find a clit

Bluesky is basically a public record of your mental breakdown.

I want to take a moment to thank the people here that identify as Trans. The pieces of you that you share with us have helped me to understand better what my niece could be experiencing. It allows me to be a better Aunt to her and that means the world to me.

irritable scowl syndrome

Will someone explain to my friend that go beagles is an acceptable portmanteau of birds and eagles

every whiskey stone a dad gets as a gift is another brick for the wall he has built around his stoic heart

I met a guy today who thought I was 31 and while he probably just needs glasses, my 47 year old ass will be riding that compliment until I retire, yee haw

I dunno I watched it and saw no hostile acts. Just a sweet baby kitty that wants to lick you with her whole mouth and teefers

the fibonacci blowjob

I am the 3 time champion of my neighborhood cookie exchange and trust me these ladies ain’t playin.

You had me at intolerable..