lshana tovah umetukah to all my jewish homies

if they make a charlie kirk day we burning his ass in effigy

lmao softer than baby shit

why wouldn't you use a folksy aphorism about weather "i wouldn't trust rfk to diagnose a cold front" etc

if the rapture does happen the midterms look promising

capitalism is the real cause of autism

i believe rfks wife killed herself due to his serial philandering

as a jewish person i can lecture gentiles on torah also lmao shaun king you fucking fraud

im stocking up on tylenol lmao

me telling my grandkids what it was like to have vaccines

government efficiency is back baby

you heard em, fellas. demand nothing but heroin for your baby mamas

Silver lining, but this is hilarious "We didn’t wait 20 years for Bobby to finally speak and then get served Tylenol as an answer," anti-vaccine group Georgia Coalition for Vaccine Choice wrote."

Conservatives love to encounter a very basic tenet of Christianity that's incompatible with conservatism and go "this sounds like something my BITCH WIFE made up"

now that he's back let's cancel jimmy kimmel for the man show

Saving this to use as a react image

circling back to this to point out that the dragon in question had the power to cancel a mediocre late night show for a week

release the evidence of wmds bill used to justify murdering hundreds of thousands of people in iraq

democrats are not sending their best. some im sure are good people

the thoughtful conversations were "holy shit we fucked up bad"

bob menendez served in the senate for almost a decade after the initial indictment

RFK Jr. Warns Mistress That Condoms Cause Autism https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-warns-mistress-that-condoms-cause-autism/

if tylenol "causes autism," can we give kids vaccines or what

an eye for an eye would not make the whole world blind. ive never hurt anyone's eye

going to mexico for their all-natural autism-free tylenol

Note: Stealth NYT edit. (Thanks to the eagle-eyed reader who saw that!)

using the power of positive visualisation this year will see: Mariners World Series win Me getting full time job another 9/11

i also hate my opponents

Just told my 10yo daughter about Charlie Kirk. She had tears in her eyes. And then she did the Wakanda pose and said "He did politics the right way" -- which is the sort of pop culture cross-over that I can celebrate.

actually that checks out

bluesky blue

today is truly the day he became president

yeah i support "putin" putin trump in freaking JAIL behind BARS

im old enough to remember when they formed a department of government efficiency to root out corruption

one bleeding neck, extra whipped cream please

saving america is actually going to require dunking on your dumbass

Trump and Vance’s contradictory messages on these killings: 1: Our glorious military carried out hyper-precise attacks on dastardly drug smugglers. 2: If you’re an innocent fisherman, watch out because we might kill you by mistake!

they should have recess at work

i didnt think charlie kirk faked his own death until now

happy 21st night of september to those who celebrate

90% of nyt+wapo opeds are this

it is against wapo policy to point out that white people are behind white supremacy

jeffrey epstein's earthly body may have died but his spirit lives on at meta

florida voted to protect abortion rights by the same margin they voted for trump

this is the far lefts fault somehow