alber
@captainacab.airbud.website
📤 21353
📥 920
📝 22222
not really a dog. reposts = official CDC recommendations. he/him
pinned post!
keep talkin asshole i’m pinning this entire thread
over 1 year ago
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alber
lauren
about 1 hour ago
i wonder what other dumbass nostalgia bait we could all fall insanely hard for. most millennial pasta noodle? no, bad prompt, no debate there. it's unquestionably cavatappi. no need to even entertain other options
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alber
lauren
about 3 hours ago
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alber
d.ly
about 19 hours ago
wishing my therapist a happy mother's day (she does not have children besides me)
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alber
Fun
about 12 hours ago
the kalshi commercial where the golfer kills an alien who is writhing in pain after their spacecraft crashed was certainly a choice
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alber
growing plant
about 13 hours ago
I got convicted of going to school. I got convicted of learning
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recreating invite code era bluesky from first principles:
add a skeleton here at some point
about 13 hours ago
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alber
Ruby, pretty ape machine
1 day ago
may I offer you some Comrade DeVito in these trying times?
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alber
d.ly
about 23 hours ago
idk why I follow you
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cumming “gravy style”
about 16 hours ago
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alber
slacey AKA Intergalactic Sendentary
about 17 hours ago
inverted cowgirl so she can bounce onto it
add a skeleton here at some point
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reposted by
alber
just gave the mother of my children oral sex and then breakfast in bed. good morning everyone!
1 day ago
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reposted by
alber
Lindsay Fickas
about 21 hours ago
This Mother’s Day, get her what she really wants: three cigs and a slight chill to the air
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reposted by
alber
Mina Kimes
about 21 hours ago
Things that hit differently at 35,000 feet: 1. Pretzels 2. Sad movies 3. Scrolling through 500 photos of your dog when he was a puppy and vowing to play more fetch with him if the plane lands safely
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alber
Dark Deeny(they\them)
about 23 hours ago
Say "thank you for your cervix" as the finisher move
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i am constantly insulted on this platform
about 23 hours ago
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alber
stefan
1 day ago
farts are stored in the butt cheeks
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alber
Matt (Aaron Rodericks has a micropeen)
1 day ago
Happy birthday to all the MILFs
loading . . .
Breakfast In Bed Served To Mom Who Just Got Eaten Out
PEORIA, IL—While celebrating Mother’s Day today, local woman and mother of two Ellen Taylor, 38, was reportedly served breakfast in bed by her children mere minutes after being voraciously eaten out b...
https://theonion.com/breakfast-in-bed-served-to-mom-who-just-got-eaten-out-1819574958/
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alber
slacey AKA Intergalactic Sendentary
1 day ago
i lived bitch
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just gave the mother of my children oral sex and then breakfast in bed. good morning everyone!
1 day ago
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reposted by
alber
d.ly
1 day ago
I love dining at ramen restaurants because a lot of them set up their solo dining seats facing a wall. I don’t need to be seeing strangers eat while I eat.
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alber
Gef the Toking Mongoose
over 1 year ago
no doubt was such a good band
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as a kid growing up i never really understood how aladdin and abu fucked
1 day ago
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reposted by
alber
d.ly
2 days ago
[dropping a deuce at the museum] we are all artists
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alber
Frances Meh
2 days ago
and what do we say to the god of death? gaga ooh la la want your bad romance
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and another thing, my grandpa was NOT a communist! he was a socialist. he fought communists in the second great war (WWII)
2 days ago
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alber
Frances Meh
7 days ago
the kids: six seven the 38 year olds on bluesky: ohhh so close
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alber
d.ly
3 days ago
I wanna be as useless as the Door Close button in an elevator
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alber
illumi
3 days ago
not many bluesky users know this but this app actually began as a big internet orgy
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alber
✨[redacted]✨
7 days ago
may the fourth beam you up, scotty
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alber
born miserable
6 days ago
JOHN FOGERTY: I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain JAMES TAYLOR: okay, you’re not gonna fucking believe this
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alber
harpy
3 days ago
*rides in on the most fuckable horse you've ever seen*
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i’m stunned he’s still alive
add a skeleton here at some point
3 days ago
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alber
j
3 days ago
comedians in running cars in the garage
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alber
sophia ♥️
3 days ago
16k posts talking about nothing
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alber
FROVO
3 days ago
MIKE: life gave me hard lemons
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alber
regular meghan 나영지 🇵🇸
3 days ago
watched this on repeat losing my shit for two nights now
loading . . .
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alber
bonque, ben (טריפה שאלות)
3 days ago
They invented a sex that is autistic
add a skeleton here at some point
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reverse cowgirl because eye contact scares me
3 days ago
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her, a literati: so what’s your favorite shakespeare? me, panicking: uhh yeah definitely hamnet. i loved hamnet.
3 days ago
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reposted by
alber
when petey pablo said he won’t eat pussy because “i ain’t drunk enough to do that” i didn’t feel that shit at all.
4 months ago
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alber
⧉
3 days ago
I've been seeing a lot of disrespect for our beautiful mods who lay their lives on the line every single day to protect us from mean jokes and nasty language and any knowledge of them liking loli porn at work and other things like that. Enough!!! Respect the mods!!! WE LOVE OUR MODS!!! 🫡
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alber
✨[redacted]✨
3 days ago
different tyler —
@captainacab.airbud.website
add a skeleton here at some point
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alber
Stella Sacco
3 days ago
Repost this if you’ve gone to the doctor or you’ve seen a dog. I’m a teacher trying to show my students that it’s possible to repost stuff under certain circumstances like if a post asks you to and you’ve gone to something or seen something
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alber
Frances Meh
3 days ago
i could never live in a smart home. opening the shades and adjusting the thermostat are my little projects. don't take my little projects from me.
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alber
barely legal olive oil
8 months ago
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alber
Katie Tightpussy, Editor-In-Chief
3 days ago
there should be an option to make cum cherry flavored i think
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alber
Ahhhhh
3 days ago
Might just be 5 to 10 sorry
add a skeleton here at some point
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alber
a sequel where they decide to kill the alien instead, called Et Tu
about 1 year ago
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alber
Sridhar Ramesh
3 days ago
That's weird. I could swear I had a quote tweet of this. What happened? We need to contact Bluesky moderators.
add a skeleton here at some point
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