You might not like it but this thread is peak posting.

Vicks on my feet as a little treat

Picked a terrible day to drop the trailer for my new wizard school series, Harvey Pinter.

thatnks for shopping at DICK'S Sporting Goods. THROBBING COCK Sporting Goods. BIG ERECT WIENER Sporting Goods

I can’t even believe we are talking about watching or reading Harry Potter. Get to the theory mines. Go read Marx you freaks

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I’ll show up and refill your Brita pitcher

a friend and I are both going through similarly tumultuous, overwhelming shit and we text this to each other out of nowhere bc we know the other probably needs to hear it. it’s been very effective 💆🏻‍♀️ having friends who care is so rad

when someone new is trying to befriend me

#sheshed #sheshells #onthe #sheshore

i think it’s interesting how honey is bee cum (jizz) but the main argument against this is that it’s not cum (jizz) but instead honey is bee puke (vomit) as if that’s at all appetizing

Woke 2 is going door to door to find people with replica HP wands and putting them on show trials

There are 3 kinds of Bluesky user: 1. Was just kicked in the head by a horse 2. Raised in Plato's cave where they were only shown 2010s tumblr posts 3. Normal

weird to me that we recognize self immolation as an extreme act of protest but somebody intentionally terminates an account by breaking the rules to point call attention to an injustice and it's disregarded as irrational it's way lower stakes, and further participation is often self harm

Do you have post graduate degrees or Undergraduate degrees? You don't write or appear to think as though you do. Nothing wrong with not having them, but they are harder to get than it seems you realize. What do you do for the company and what does the company do?

Hello, I’m Julio Wayne. Honestly, you have a very lovely profile and I wish to know you. I will be glad if we can talk on my Google chat [email protected], am looking forward to meet you but if you consider it to impropriety, am sorry 🙏 thank you

dried mango is the closest you can legally come to chewing on a man’s ear

Also, just like… Why the fuck do we need this? We have a series of movies. We have video games. We have a theme park. We have radio plays. We have audiobooks. We have a fucking West End play. It’s diminishing returns at this point. And it was never fucking Tolstoy.

Every time I post about endometriosis and dare to make it, gender inclusive, I always get a lot of comments from people angry that I didn’t just say “women” And every time, I think about how Rowling has enough money to cure endometriosis forever. But she doesn’t actually give a fuck about women.

sorry I was gone for a few hours, I got stuck in the post composer trying to make a joke work

has anyone asked the black eyed peas how much louder we have to pump it?

A five year old Hidetaka Miyazaki saw this and realized it was going to be his whole deal

working on a new program to ensure every preacher is fully committed to the lord, it's my all-in parsons project

anyone who has ever read harry potter should have picked up on the fact that rowling loved using the barely made up slur “mudblood” as much as she could. the signs were there all along

"sorry i was late to the meeting, yeah someone was being a main character online"

kids, please come into the family room your mother and i need to tell you something “you’re already divorced what is this?” well, you know how dad has been buying motorcycles and pretending to work on his car and stuff? “mid life crisis we know, you’re 42 it’s ok- im joining the army.

everyone please go like this post so that @jcsalterego.bsky.social has to spend the entire day photoshopping increasingly larger Mickey Mouse gloves on Cody Bellinger also Molly’s chat is great and you should sign up for that too

We are in here talking opening day, introducing ourselves and sharing our favorite teams and our hopes for the 2026 baseball season: open.substack.com/chat/posts/a...

making fun of losers who are still into Harry Potter actually seems to be working to some extent, and we should keep doing it Gen Z and Gen Alpha members are our strongest soldiers when it comes to calling out Harry Potter as irredeemably cringe millennial adult-baby slop

BREAKING: An ICE officer has passed away after choking on a 14 dollar Baconator at Wendy’s in the Tulsa Airport

We’d like to apologize to the people who attended the grand opening of our gravy sauna last weekend. It was an experiment ahead of its time.

it’s a big shitta thing, a lil pooper like you wouldn’t get it

Got kicked out of the death cult for wearing too much glitter

[extreme K-Ci and JoJo voice]

all my life I've Wanted To Fuck A Cop's Wife feels like doing the good kinda crime

how do i put my phone in depeche mode

keep your friends close and coffee is for closers

wide-necked shirts so I can get dressed by stepping into them

if green day were truly millenials they would've sang if it's not too much bother could you have the time? just to like listen to me whine if not totally understand

kids, please come into the family room your mother and i need to tell you something “you’re already divorced what is this?” well, you know how dad has been buying motorcycles and pretending to work on his car and stuff? “mid life crisis we know, you’re 42 it’s ok- im joining the army.

42 year old new recruit at basic training, asking “where’s the hose?” when his commanding officer says to get some water

an army of orange man bads leaning in for the hitler redemption arc

If the world gets screwed up bad enough the robots won’t even want to take over

feel like shit, just want BIG BOAT STUCK back

imagine if your irl friends found your bsky account lol lmao

cure pee shyness by waiting until you're pissing your pants to go to the bathroom

What’s wrong babe you’ve barely kissed my ass

telling the barista my name is spermatazoa

42 year old new recruit at basic training, asking “where’s the hose?” when his commanding officer says to get some water

i have to say the way you all are rallying against harry potter is a lot like harry potter: the goblet of fire chapter 23 page 156 when harry potter, the titular character and protagonist of the series, discovers his name has secretly been put in the goblet by grimli the dwarve and aragon the wise,

sorry i cant imagine ingesting a piece of the harry potter cinematic universe on purpose at this point in my life not even pirated or free or whatever bc at some point i simply read another book