and now it’s time to see what Charlie Kirk has to say about Zohran Mamdani winning the NYC mayoral election. you’ve been awfully quiet, Charlie! something stuck in your throat?

subway: serving up defiance since 1965

get in loser, we’re heading to the loser convention and you’re the keynote speaker you fucking loser

Making baby formula in the meth lab

it's almost my birthday in case y'all want to start saving up

"Thank you Madame Hillary for leading the way, let's not forget it was the girl boss who let this king slay!"

for those who only want trump and resist posting please set your joke content tab to “hide”

coming to broadway: The Rise of Mamdani, starring lin manuel miranda as Zohran Mamdani

starting to wonder if the NYT has a conservative agenda

bluesky should have a labeler for posts that are jokes

Just fixed the sink AND the internet connection. Tonight I am a GOD.

Turning off joke labels so I can not get the jokes like everyone else. I just want to fit in

VOICEOVER: in the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate, yet entirely opposite, groups: the police, who are afraid of sandwiches, and sandwich wielders, armed with food consisting of two pieces of bread filled with meat, cheese, and vegetables. these are their stories.

bluesky should have a labeler for posts that are jokes

the beaver moon is god giving the world full frontal nudity

Gen AI companies want to achieve that ‘too big to fail’ status but the difference is that banking is at least somewhat useful to the average person while AI is entirely superfluous.

come on united states government please just a little more helium in my hindenburg just a little more lift please

12 Hangry Men

emotional marathons are also measured in kms, interestingly enough

the lunar beave looks so plump tn

he was white, an undesirable perhaps, but he made do. all things considered—despite being a young white male—he was pretty fly actually

“It’s a simple question: do you think the inside of my brain is fucked up? A yes or no will suffice!!!!!”

the voters have spoken: WE KEEP GOING

BLUESKY ELDER ELECTED NYC MAYOR

eating ice cream on hard mode

in porn every time there’s a “money shot” it should just be the guy unloading a can of redi-whip

Nothing is more urgent than my mother reaching me to let me know that someone I met once as a child has died

imagine being in The Beach Boys and that one guy was always like, hey how about a song about surfing

the magazine that published truman capote, dorothy parker and eudora welty is now posting lowbie cope

Handing over my leftist card because I like/dont like a TV sitcom

my work did one of those pet costume contest things and someone submitted an excruciatingly obvious AI-generated dog. when i politely asked if it was real (knowing the answer), they dug their heels in lmao why are people so WEIRD

i’m one of those weird people where you have to post the pop culture meme or gif that the joke i just made refers to otherwise i wont know im making a pop culture reference

would goatees be such a joke to you if your baby brother was born with one? yeah i didn’t think so.

hey 👋 looks like you posted a joke, mind if i explain it?

bluesky needed an entire day to just collectively lib out

They offered Curtis Sliwa $10 million dollars to drop out of the race and he said no!! Genuinely impressive. That’s principle. Gotta respect it. He would’ve turned down the Riyadh Comedy Festival, for SURE.

he was white, an undesirable perhaps, but he made do. all things considered—despite being a young white male—he was pretty fly actually

I know one thing, this white boy will be squeezing “inshallah” into every conversation at Thanksgiving

it’s been 84 years, and yet i can still smell the onions i can still smell the mustard

oh right and dick cheney died too

Sliwa could have taken 2nd place if he had the power of #ButtholeGang behind him

zohran mamdani is only one (1) month older than i am, so in a way you could say his victory makes me feel like a complete and utter failure

IF ZOHRAN MAMDANI WINS MAYOR I WILL KILL MYSELF ON LIVE TV

Mamdani going so hard for trans right and winning is some juicy proof that every dem that abandoned us didn’t do it for politically advantageous reasons. They did it because they’re transphobes and they will lose for it

Here's how Kamala can still win:

“I wish Andrew Cuomo the best in private life. But let this be the last time I utter his name” - Zohran Mamdani

The time for dark woke is beginning

Impossible to overstate how exciting field conferences are for academics. We spend 11.95 months a year with people only understanding 5-15% of our jokes and references, but then for three glorious days 😍😍😍