if you out-pizza the hut, but no one is around…

Kevin Hart doing a tight 10 at the Palantir corporate retreat

even as a young kid i knew i wanted to rip my hand to shreds trying to open a gatorade bottle

Wait, THIS is young Anton Chekhov? This? Good lord. Let that gun go off, daddy

the winter olympics not having an event for snowman making is why it will never be taken seriously

at 200 followers i will forgive my dad

it’s not culturally insensitive to say this in italy btw

ive fallen love with the skiing commentator who is describing cool skiing tricks as "a little extra paprika in the pasta sauce"

tactical skinny jeans

obituaries should have clickbait titles

guy who only has ever seen the lord of the rings: why don’t the ski long jumpers just use the great eagles instead

inhaling an fpv drone at the top of my gold medal alpine ski run

it's been a while so here's a pack of some of my favorite people go.bsky.app/3cVJfpD

we got your genetic tests back and it’s definitely maybelline

watching the biathlon like

ok. does anyone know if it's twice per athlon or every two athlons

It's fun that if you want to talk like Owen Wilson it's very easy

hehe no my partnership with the betting app isn’t a conflict of interest. i lose games on purpose all the time i just have never gotten paid for it before thats the difference. this is all very ethical and above board (disappears in a cloud of smoke)

the winter olympics not having an event for snowman making is why it will never be taken seriously

at 200 followers i will forgive my dad

I hear Bugs Bunny is competing in the Super Bowl

when i die i don’t want to be buried or cremated, i want to be pickled

guy who gets off on making women feel safe and valued

even as a young kid i knew i wanted to rip my hand to shreds trying to open a gatorade bottle

Let’s go to the common room and talk about Apartheid.

adhd medicine really helps me focus on passing out on the couch unexpectedly

if you're ever bored just post "I will never vote for Gavin Newsom" and the weirdest freaks online will collect in your mentions to hysterically defend the honor of Dollar Tree Ronald Reagan

patient: but doctor.. i AM pagliacci pagliacci (pretending to be a doctor to drum up business): you can just say you don't want to go to the show

i vote from my ouya

I rarely do this, but I’m hoping I maybe have enough of a following here that someone can help: I need to get in contact with Donkey Kong. It’s urgent

unlike crypto, your deposits into the sperm bank always remain liquid

when they go low, we vote

welcome to frances' our special today is a hot steaming bowl of codswallop, coffees all around to start?

jd vance: “please clap” olympics: “please don’t boo him please” also the olympics: “ooof that’s a lot of boos, a lot of jeering”

JD Vance could go to space and he would be booed by any life out there

in Mamdani's America, struggle buses are fast and free

Quotes are some of the most memorable phrases

if you could choose between your state to be run by a christian baby who threatens to kill himself if you don’t repent or a baby atheist who actually does it, who would you pick and you have to choose there’s no third option the election is set up that way

during every full moon it is customary for someone to have a full-on transphobic meltdown on here

Dick so soft it fall off the bone

potbelly is the new quizno's (derogatory), jersey mike's is the new subway (complimentary), firehouse subs is the new blimpie (derogatory)

whelp nothing to do now except chew on tums with increasing frequency until i die

sometimes a quote post is so bad detaching it isn’t enough i need them to be attacked by bees

there are cold hearted, evil people in this world

Let's not speak aloud at the bluesky meet up. Just wear name tags and post as usual.

My favorite thing about protein bars is that they satisfy the innate human desire for sweet edible clay

this motherfucker looks like he was standing on his head

one thing i always look for in a currency is the capacity to lose 15% of its value in response to nothing in particular

a ball gag for sex but the ball is a lindt truffle