i wonder what other dumbass nostalgia bait we could all fall insanely hard for. most millennial pasta noodle? no, bad prompt, no debate there. it's unquestionably cavatappi. no need to even entertain other options

wishing my therapist a happy mother's day (she does not have children besides me)

the kalshi commercial where the golfer kills an alien who is writhing in pain after their spacecraft crashed was certainly a choice

I got convicted of going to school. I got convicted of learning

recreating invite code era bluesky from first principles:

may I offer you some Comrade DeVito in these trying times?

idk why I follow you

cumming “gravy style”

inverted cowgirl so she can bounce onto it

just gave the mother of my children oral sex and then breakfast in bed. good morning everyone!

This Mother’s Day, get her what she really wants: three cigs and a slight chill to the air

Things that hit differently at 35,000 feet: 1. Pretzels 2. Sad movies 3. Scrolling through 500 photos of your dog when he was a puppy and vowing to play more fetch with him if the plane lands safely

Say "thank you for your cervix" as the finisher move

i am constantly insulted on this platform

farts are stored in the butt cheeks

Happy birthday to all the MILFs

i lived bitch

just gave the mother of my children oral sex and then breakfast in bed. good morning everyone!

I love dining at ramen restaurants because a lot of them set up their solo dining seats facing a wall. I don’t need to be seeing strangers eat while I eat.

no doubt was such a good band

as a kid growing up i never really understood how aladdin and abu fucked

[dropping a deuce at the museum] we are all artists

and what do we say to the god of death? gaga ooh la la want your bad romance

and another thing, my grandpa was NOT a communist! he was a socialist. he fought communists in the second great war (WWII)

the kids: six seven the 38 year olds on bluesky: ohhh so close

I wanna be as useless as the Door Close button in an elevator

not many bluesky users know this but this app actually began as a big internet orgy

may the fourth beam you up, scotty

JOHN FOGERTY: I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain JAMES TAYLOR: okay, you’re not gonna fucking believe this

*rides in on the most fuckable horse you've ever seen*

i’m stunned he’s still alive

comedians in running cars in the garage

16k posts talking about nothing

MIKE: life gave me hard lemons

watched this on repeat losing my shit for two nights now

They invented a sex that is autistic

reverse cowgirl because eye contact scares me

her, a literati: so what’s your favorite shakespeare? me, panicking: uhh yeah definitely hamnet. i loved hamnet.

when petey pablo said he won’t eat pussy because “i ain’t drunk enough to do that” i didn’t feel that shit at all.

I've been seeing a lot of disrespect for our beautiful mods who lay their lives on the line every single day to protect us from mean jokes and nasty language and any knowledge of them liking loli porn at work and other things like that. Enough!!! Respect the mods!!! WE LOVE OUR MODS!!! 🫡

different tyler — @captainacab.airbud.website

Repost this if you’ve gone to the doctor or you’ve seen a dog. I’m a teacher trying to show my students that it’s possible to repost stuff under certain circumstances like if a post asks you to and you’ve gone to something or seen something

i could never live in a smart home. opening the shades and adjusting the thermostat are my little projects. don't take my little projects from me.

barely legal olive oil

there should be an option to make cum cherry flavored i think

Might just be 5 to 10 sorry

a sequel where they decide to kill the alien instead, called Et Tu

That's weird. I could swear I had a quote tweet of this. What happened? We need to contact Bluesky moderators.