Night of the Hunter, hell, just for this scene alone

Me totally not having thought that Ask Jeeves shut down in like 2009

Adding more to my life mask (a base) and reflecting on the crazy world of today

I ate too many fiber gummies and now I’m fighting for my life

me when i reminisce about bsky

Anyone love being older and dating? Like the expectation for having babies is gone and if they have family obligations, you can just be supportive and be like “you do you” and go do your own thing Fucking awesome

get in loser we’re going to sit in a line for an hour and drop off old electronics and hazardous liquids at a recycling event

he was a kid

POV you work at Target and have just said that the limited edition “Happy 250th Birthday America” Stanley mug is no longer in stock anywhere

I forget sometimes that England is basically ground zero for producing the whitest white people and sometimes get a jump scare when I see one

Sex is great but try getting rid of stuff and seeing a little extra space in your home appear… I mean, sex is still better but goddamn I feel good

I’m honestly a little proud how this little routine came out, particularly considering how exhausted I was by this time I got this clip

This would be me 100% of the time

Put this on my grave

Well, I guess I’m just a slut then I’m glad we cleared that up

Heartbreak is stupid Like stop hurting already you silly ass void in my chest

Whenever a sexy lady takes off her robe in a 1940s-1950s cartoon

I’m sorry I’ve been away I’m recovering from the fact than anyone would cheat on my queen

We’re just normal men

POV you’re the last cheddar bay biscuit on a table of a family of five at Red Lobster

Just so we’re all clear, this was faked right?

"Lol, lmao even" once again unparalleled as political commentary.

When I say “no” whilst in France

ooo baby that’s how i like it now do the voice (Gollum purr) we wants it, we needs it.

Anyway shit is crazy Here’s my cute cat

I was getting takeout with a guy and saw some people in tuxes walking quickly past us We had no idea what was going on until we got to the Himalayan restaurant to pick up our momos and saw that CNN was showing that shit had gone down at the Washington Hilton (a hop from the restaurant)

(Sipping coffee while looking out my window) I’ve been having a lot of dreams about 9/11 lately (Takes another sip)

hiiii girlypop gonna go try to get n rx for hrt patches for my perimeno sweats lmaoo

Okay this guy is either autistic or the biggest troll I’ve seen in years

Yaaaaaaaaayy!!!!! Go elephants!!!

Got a new phone and my old phone (which is half broken) works better than my new one and I’m super pissed about that

I look nice* *a couple of days ago when I spent two hours getting all made up to go out

ugh men make me so angry I just wanna choke them out with my thighs that I’ve been strengthening by gripping on to a pole for nearly a year now That’ll show em

I knew that southern rooster was corrupt as fuck

Who has like $170k I could borrow real quick

Freaking wild how much crying exhausts you

My type? Why mysterious yet powerful hermits who are still mourning the loss of their beautiful wives who passed tragically and perhaps violently

I can now officially do pull-ups to impress dates

Autistic and ADHD baddies are the best

My handle… my very existence… The devs deem it “invalid”

Finally some news we can use to fight the war we all fight daily inside our skull prisons

How my Sunday went

Waaaay too many guys who bragged on their dating profiles about being "size queen approved"

I’ve finally discovered after five years of having this cat that the reason Cary freaks out for two hours and tries every annoying thing to get my attention every single morning is because he has to shit really bad and has to make sure I’m there to watch his back Imagine if your roommate did this

Made a small edit. Sorry for deleting For the uninformed, this is what I do when someone cancels a date on me

Replace toxic masculinity with this because it’s arguably better

Okay Okay I’ll say it How Walt Disney signed his D has always pissed me off

If there’s one thing I know in this crazy world is that if you casually mention a dog breed being banned or heavily restricted (aka basically banned) in various US states and some countries, a middle aged white lady is gonna appear outta nowhere passionately saying “it’s the owner not the breed”

Playing around on that other app