Best subreddit hands down is that baldness one that encourages mostly men who are losing their hair to embrace their chrome domes

If ICE drags my Japanese parent out her home and forces me to come to her rescue after going no contact with her for a year because she’s a terrible person, I will run for Congress, win, obliterate ICE, and finally banish anyone previously associated with ICE to a lighthouse off of the Maine coast

Said the guy who doesn’t know how to use filters on a platform first adopted by sex workers

Don’t make me post a picture of myself to show you how much of a slutty baddie I am now. Don’t make me wield that power

You know whats cool? I have almost 7000 friends. That *almost* heals the trauma of high school

Don’t riff on my post without giving a like. That’s like entering my home and shitting on my rug without complimenting my rug first. Very rude because I have great taste in rugs to be shat upon

Does anyone dunk donuts in black coffee anymore? We used to be a real country

message to all my haters ‼️

Finally watched the latest Knives Out and I’m sorry but when one of the characters called Kerry Washington “a hag,” my immersion was completely broken. Bad job, movie

had a dream that megyn kelly is a vampire that’s been alive for 900 years

The man saying this is British btw

My political beliefs? I think more people should shoplift and use the money they save from that to tip sex workers well

There’s no one more honorable than a slut and no one braver than a whore

“Put me in the zoo” should have a sequel called “throw me in the gulag”

I’m gonna tell you to shut the fuck up but in a uwu im baby sort of way which makes it even worse

Dudes rock.

Self-esteem is not enough. I need 400 strangers with agoraphobia to tell me I’m pretty.

My moodboard is just credit cards getting cut up to represent being debt free and crude drawings of stick figures boning

My hormones are all fucked up I just thought about a cat playing with an egg and cried for 10 minutes

At least 76% of squirrels are squirrels

If god were real he would apply hilarious sound effects to when ICE agents fall down but alas we live in a godless universe

📽️

Sorry

Some people will say peak American excess is the state of Texas while I believe that peak American excess is a soup filled breadbowl that exists within Texas

Localhost is super reliable and Md knows tech super good

I aspire to look one of those uncomfortably fit older people. You know, the ones who are the most afraid of death but they’re scared of their inevitable demise in a totally bangable way

Me explaining how the incel movement began with the hit 2000 song “Everything You Want” by Vertical Horizon

“Drink the milk, kids, or you’ll never see your dog again.”

Thinking about her

I feel like there is a pretty large middle ground between losing your shit and starting discourse at every slight or discomfort and the whole horrific belief in “toxic empathy” and honestly, it starts with practicing stuff like this

X? No thanks If I want my fix of harassment from narcissists I’d just talk to my estranged parent and my ex husband again

Toxic empathy? You mean giving a shit about people other than myself? You mean something that people who don’t have narcissistic or antisocial personality disorder have?

For the curious, here’s the sequence. It was the first time I did it higher on the pole with a climb

It’s cold. Shits bad But here’s some free feet and me doing my best impression of that one tarot card

Just donated! If you have some money to spare please consider doing likewise? If not, just spread the word. Thank you!

Men. Can’t live with them, can’t have a conversation without them interrupting you, can’t be friends with them because they catch feelings and have to tell you about that and then get upset when you set boundaries, claiming you “led them on”, can’t…

If you think you’ve met me or know me irl, you don’t. That’s just some lady I stole pictures from. I’m actually a feral cat with some serious catitude and FIV

Pencil guy could do a “Mass Effect 3: Shepherd saves the galaxy” move and I would still not like him

The more I post in the middle of the night the better I’m doing mentally

You BETTER make jokes about me when I die or I’m coming back as a skeleton and playing my ribs like a xylophone while you try to get some sleep that you really need because you have an early doctor’s appointment

Okay I never read Dilbert because I like laughing but let me get this straight… So every animal in Dilbert’s life was named its common name and -bert? That’s incredibly narcissistic

the dilbert guy dilbert died. he’s deadbert now. he's deadbert & you're laughing.

“You know what helps me get things done? A planner—“ And these were the last words that Gerald uttered before the ADHD support group screamed unintelligible sounds at him and then beat him mercilessly with their stacking chairs in the community center basement

My 3 year old said to me: “Hissssss!!!!!” And I screamed “Begone, demon spawn of hell for I have no offspring!” and then I did a sweet spin kick and that gremlin went flying out my window And that’s why I’m looking in your crawlspace with a flashlight, so there’s no need to call the police

“…we all know I did it. And we all are happier because of it. You’re welcome.”

I want to find an opportunity to do a kickflip on a skateboard and then skate away all cool but I’m 40 and nothing I do is cool and never will be cool

I told my cat “no” and I want to be acknowledged for being so brave now because I’m probably gonna die somehow in my sleep tonight

What if a big account on here was an elaborate catfishing scheme and was actually a small duck spreading pro bread propaganda