(Kicks the door in) Cats are the fucking best (Leaves and takes door with me)

just spent about 20 minutes trying to track down this video on Instagram

I want to end a meeting one day by saying “I need vacate this area immediately” and then just casually and calmly walk out of the room

I’m still chasing that high I felt when I first heard the iconic crackle of deep fried rice crackers being dropped into sizzling rice soup

Women should be taller on average, like 6’3” at least

Currently thinking about how damn cute the stoat is

There is nothing wrong with having a steel folding chair as house furniture. Its mid century style meets functionality. I will die on this hill

I’ve lived in Germany and was born and lived in Japan. Like most people, German and Japanese people are wonderful. That still doesn’t erase the fucking horrific atrocities the Nazi and the Imperial Japanese military committed. How fucking worm brained do you have to be to write this??

JESUS CHRIST!

In times like this, all you can do is vote

Whenever I see a video of a tamed wolf beside a human handler, I can’t help but marvel at the balls on those three little pigs trusting shoddy construction while composing a song ridiculing such a terrifying and huge creature

I’ve already broken my resolution for being nicer online

I want to be suddenly attacked by s’mores. I want to be threatened with being quickly bombarded by them

I don’t understand why people are still on Twitter. Like it’s just shitty app run by shitty people for shitty people who like shitty things. Like just stick your head in a portable toilet on a construction site if you want that experience so badly and then admit you have a problem

“I just can’t take any of you seriously anymore” I sigh leaning back in my comically small chair while I sport oversized shoes and a large red nose

Kids today don’t know how to work complex and dangerous industrial machinery or yearn for the mines like they used to Also, rotary phones were stupid inventions and took too fucking long. Phones with buttons were better

I love that the older I get, the more delighted I am to see a pet at a party… excluding the one time I saw a human pet. That time still haunts me

Favorite Bond movies, in order: - Spyfinger - To Die, Explodingly - The World Is Huge - Moonkisser - Quantum of Solace

“No one names their kid Herb, Olive, or Coconut anymore,” I sigh as I read a bottle of body wash in a CVS

day one in mamdani’s new york

Here’s to more embarrassing experiences for me

How I’m walking out of 2025

Spending my NYE meal prepping and organizing LIKE AN ADULT

So some dude stole a gift I got my niece, which was a book that teaches hand sewing. She just got the replacement and is stoked, but there’s part of me that hopes this book changes this dude’s life and he gets into sewing and starts a small Etsy store and I randomly buy something from it someday

You may cheat on me but I get it and wish you well on your future endeavors

Jim Davis should have named Odie the dog Charlie after James A Garfield’s assassin Charles J. Guiteau so Garfield the cat’s abuse of the dog would be a justifiable behavior as both were now stuck in a limbo state as household pets of a nascent incel in his late 20s

I’m a perfect princess. No one has ever been mad at me ever

When I die (hopefully old and decrepit) i hope they use a picture of me as a baby on my obituary. Leave people wondering if I was eternally a baby or did a Benjamin Button thing

RIP to one of the greatest posters

My film history take: DW Griffith is the most overrated director of all time. I watched Birth of a Nation and it sucked ass. I hope he’s licking KKK founder Nathan Bedford Forrest’s dick and balls in hell

"everyone grieves differently" Erika Kirk:

I have a feeling Jon won’t make it into the advanced class for reasons

It’s wild that I just smell cigarette smoke every so often. I never smoked in my life (I’ve had to be hyper vigilant of smokers because I have asthma) and it just randomly happens now. I’m thankful that’s my only long COVID symptom but still, it’s incredibly weird that’s my life now

RIP Claudia Cardinale. Much like Robert Redford, she was a rare case of a beautiful performer with a filmography full of bangers who did NOT become right-wing later in life. Here she is punching fascist Brigitte Bardot in the face in Les Pétroleuses (1971).

Brigitte Bardot, known for being hot once but spent most of her later years being a racist piece of garbage and living waaaay too long, dead at 91

Heavy is the ass that bears the neurodivergence

“Oh! Oh you said ‘ass kicked’! My mistake” I say as I pull up my pants in the Home Depot parking lot

I sometimes go back to the gender swapped, faceapped version of myself and just think “damn, why I do I feel like this guy would be like such a misogynistic asshole?” And then I remember I look a lot like my dad

People traveling today, please stay safe 🙏

Happy Boxing Day or for me, “Waking up to the sound of a cat coughing up a hairball next to me” Day followed by the traditional dance of enzyme cleaners and paper towels

I am an open book about my childhood abuse. I know my narcissistic parent would not want me to be, so I’ll stay estranged for both our sakes

Merry Christmas, be you filthy animals or not

When just saying you’re “an ass guy” isn’t enough

Every person can be reduced to a starter pack. The great thing I’ve found about getting older having a good hearty chuckle when I find mine

Did I just watch a 4 hour video essay about living characters in Disneyland that ends up linking robots in the park to a Disney/Nvidia marriage in AI data gathering while also showing that human pigheadedness and desire for real connection will maybe save us from AI and the execs who peddle it? Yes

I was with her emotionally through the entire process

I’m a 40 year old cat lady who walks her cat after getting her light calisthenics in. Not as bad a life as haters said it would be

Bring back bullying. I mean it. Some people need an asskicking