I am happy to report that pole dancing, running, and lifting has paid off

To my downstairs neighbor, I’m sorry. I’m done with the heels tonight

im heartbroken again :(

im feral again

You know, something amazing happened today. I went clothes shopping as I needed to update my summer wardrobe a little bit, and I loved seeing my body in the mirror. It’s become so muscular and strong this past year and although I’m no longer a size 0 or 2, I love how I look and feel now

I have an important announcement

I didn’t replace you. How could I replace someone who shaped my sexual identity? How could I replace someone who I clung to for months as they disappeared in front of me? How could I replace someone who despite everything, will be one of the great loves of my life? I love you and also fuck you.

In my working out heavily, staying functional during the day while going over old texts and sobbing during the night era

I love a man in a suit… particularly when I’m bent over his knee 🥵

My elder Millennial roots are deep as I am half tempted to do a pole routine to Kiss from a Rose 🥀

I actually know a sub rn who is going through a bad mental health crisis because her Dom dropped her suddenly and left her without any resources to help her move on I’m lucky in that I’m a fairly resilient mfer who problem solves and makes plans so I could handle my ex Dom’s complete collapse

I think this is a must for any D/s dynamic: have “pause” and “release” processes built into your contract, particularly a specific one if the Dom is no longer mentally able to be a responsible Dominant. What I had to go through with uncollaring and releasing myself was unbearably painful/damaging

Submission is so precious and so few Dominants know how to correctly hold and protect it. So damn sad

Find yourself someone who loves you and not just loves how you make them feel

The guy I’m seeing needs to stop being out of town doing important stuff because I’m horny

Being a dumb slut is underappreciated

I am not one to kink shame but a man just approached me online asking me to destroy his balls by kicking them into oblivion and despite my strained relationship with men in general, I just can’t do that. I feel like I failed all women by refusing him and I’m so sorry, my sisters.

I was with someone for a year and a half and there is not one photo of us together as a couple that isn’t us having sex… even people I dated briefly I have vanilla pictures with them… I’m sad now

Thank goodness for the autistic mind. I just realized I saw a relational pattern in a person I loved and now, I’m no longer mad as I doubt it was malicious. However, I also realize it’s not behavior I want out of a Dominant partner because it honestly isn’t Dominant or even adult behavior.

Pulled out my old day collar and saw how tarnished it had become in a jewelry satchel: an apt symbol for how I feel about the dynamic and romance that I had and cherished

If you ever unwisely and somewhat selfishly write an apology letter to someone who asked you not to contact them so they could heal, make sure the apology is actually apologizing and not just a way to transfer your guilt to that person because it really sucks to be on the receiving end of that.

My daily struggle

Aaaaahhh!!! Ayesha! Why do you torment me!???

Everything I see reminds me of him 😭

Feral posting

I need to bounce on it in a depraved, animalistic way that would cause my ancestors to die all over again

I’ve finally figured out my type. Abnormally large, nerdy men who enjoy DnD and kicking my ass (in a loving and consensual way)

I don’t care how tall you are or how much money you make. I don’t care how fit you are or if you are on that grind mindset. All I want is a guy who is kind and emotionally intelligent… and has a fuckin jaw dropping cock and knows how to use his hand on my ass and thighs

Realized that I’m a Mazda Miata. Made in Japan, reliable, fun, but also a source of embarrassment for some men who would sooner say I’m “just a rental” because I’m not a Porsche 911 or a Corvette Stingray. Bitch, I have fans in a very small subset of the internet. I mean, have you seen long Miata?

I hate being the one to fight for a relationship and person but no one is willing to do the same for me I’m replaceable in their eyes. Glad I know my own worth

Pole highlights from today’s class starting with a static pole routine and a spinning pole one with some throwback instrumentals

When a Dom finally worth their weight calls me “his disgusting cum slut”

You never know what battles people are fighting on the regular

Just a reminder that most of my going through new moves look a lot like this bundle of struggling

Just realized it’s been a year since I took my first pole class. The first clip was in actually in August when I started taking pole weekly but mid May was my very first class. The second clip was from class today. I’m proud of my journey and can’t wait to see how I progress over the next year ☺️

Feeling balletic on a Sunday

We need to hug and kiss Bluesky moderators.

“Mind of Christ but the body of a whore?” Nah, I aspire for the body and mind of a whore. That’s the fun zone. That’s where I wanna live forever

This is NOT an invitation for DMs, but just a vent. I’ve been feeling very undesirable lately. Losing my Dom and uncollaring myself, dates getting cancelled, and my body dysmorphia has been on a rampage Just a bit down

So I worked on it a little more 😅 and decided not to use talc or sticky hands so I’m slipping everywhere

Trying my hand at free styling a bit at home with mixed results

Self collaring for now because I miss that feeling ❤️‍🩹😔

Well, I guess I’m just a slut then I’m glad we cleared that up

The same with honorifics. No one will ever be the honorific I used for him. It’s too personal and painful to use it for anyone else He will always have that role in my heart ❤️‍🩹

I was told I have a body made for sex and that compliment is carrying me through my work week

The thing about being owned and then being released by a Dom who you still love deeply is that there will always be some kinky things that you shared that you’ll never feel safe enough to do with anyone else It’s sad to put those kinks to rest, but beautiful that they even existed for you to share

When the sex is so good you don’t do the whole kinky scene you planned to do 🫠

Sorry I’m such a slut y’all

FUCK

No one touch a goddamn thing!