Kip Conlon
@kipconlon.bsky.social
📤 5297
📥 3391
📝 2750
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:jl254wzevuyus2qdi7awzs5a/feed/aaallxif7tq52
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As the dogs and bees continued their attack, I tried in vain to remember my favorite things.
about 2 months ago
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It's true what they say, laughter is the cheapest medicine.
about 11 hours ago
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Kip Conlon
Luke
3 days ago
Grimace: hi, my name is Grimace everyone at AA: hi Grimace
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Steven (with a PH)
about 20 hours ago
Enjoying Pluribus because it tackles that far-fetched sci-fi concept 'What if everybody else has it together and I am a useless feral ghoul?'
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Kip Conlon
19 days ago
i bought a pack of 20 xmas cards & i have 18 left who wants a card ?
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Ethan Hawke opens up about his passion for interviews.
about 14 hours ago
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Can’t my so called “friends” just let me enjoy being catfished?
about 19 hours ago
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Email from landlord riddled with typos. “premisis” “dammage” “mesh lab”
about 20 hours ago
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New Year’s Nuisance
1 day ago
sometimes you just have to hold your cat up in front of a mirror and say “dats u” to remind them that they’re real
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Spidey sense is telling me my date couldn’t care less about the MCU.
about 24 hours ago
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Girlfriend and I are at stage in relationship where we’re able to just sit and share a seething silence.
1 day ago
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Kip Conlon
New Year’s Nuisance
11 days ago
not to self diagnose, but I think I’m fucking cooked
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korpisworld
4 days ago
I’m thinking of a word to describe Ludacris trying to sell me auto repair insurance.
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ceej
4 days ago
they invented a new type of santa for new year’s eve. and you HAVE to kiss him
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Path 🎉
3 days ago
forming a coalition to stop hammer time
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Off-camera, Paddington’s marmalade habit a lot less adorable.
1 day ago
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It wasn’t long before the “yo mama” jokes began to touch on the personal.
2 days ago
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Hamlet:…where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment— Horatio: Put the skull down, bro.
2 days ago
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Mike Schuster
about 1 month ago
Nice effort. Concerted?
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I didn’t start the blame game, you did.
3 days ago
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Kip Conlon
andy vs
3 days ago
My car always seems a little overconfident after an oil change
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At one point I was spending more than a 1000 dollars a week on drugs. It was then I knew I had to find a better dealer.
3 days ago
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Billhelm
about 1 year ago
*watching the coffee pot fill up* That’s right. Piss for daddy, you robot whore.
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Therapist suggested I needed to work on my anger. He backed down pretty quick. Smart move, doc.
3 days ago
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With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.
3 days ago
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Kip Conlon
Mara Wilson
4 days ago
I was super smug that I managed to get someone on the chess app to resign, until I looked at their username again and saw that it was “AubreyIs16”
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Toby 🇵🇸
5 days ago
Please don’t forget that Christmas Day can be a difficult time for many people. For instance, I’m a bit bored
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Cap’n Watsisname
about 1 year ago
He’s making a list And he’s checking it twice While he’s having a smoke And she’s taking a drag
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fro vo
6 days ago
ADAM: it’s christmas eve EVE: what’s christmas
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Some use the term “enabling.” I call it being a chill friend.
5 days ago
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“Air Bud” reboot but he’s a boxer this time.
5 days ago
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Kip Conlon
Dan Cerinthedark
8 days ago
naming a dog “Champ” will jinx them into being dumb as fuck
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By getting my wife these cheap combs for Christmas I saved enough to buy a new watch fob!
6 days ago
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Mysterious shopkeeper assured me my boy will “scream with delight” and “open a vortex of evil” when he sees his new doll.
6 days ago
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josh (auldfriend99)
6 days ago
It takes a big man to admit that he was wrong when he stole christmas
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Kip Conlon
Salty MacTavish
6 days ago
In my day, a charcuterie board was a sleeve of saltines on a cable spool table
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Tell me, officer, what's the euphemism for a BRIBE around here?
7 days ago
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With your brains, and my gift for exploiting people with brains, there's no telling what's in this for me!
7 days ago
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Wishing won't make it so. You must make a plan to win the Powerball.
7 days ago
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Tell me without telling me you need CPR.
7 days ago
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I can cross “swimming with various lake fish” off the bucket list.
7 days ago
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Kip Conlon
Jesse Hawken
8 days ago
Relatable look on Leo’s face here
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My favorite Triscuit variety? Why not ask me to name my favorite child?
8 days ago
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Kip Conlon
korpisworld
10 days ago
*taking family photo at daughter’s graduation* Random stranger: Would you like for me to— Me: Sure! Go on in get yourself in there!
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Eating competitions are barbaric. That is no way to enjoy 60 hot dogs.
8 days ago
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Kip Conlon
DaddyJew
10 days ago
nice try your honor, but I too brought a gavel
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Kip Conlon
korpisworld
10 days ago
Was feeling spontaneous, so I made a list of things to do next Tuesday.
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Kip Conlon
d.ly
9 days ago
Mr. Beast, all my friends and I were saying how good at boxing you’d be
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fro vo
10 days ago
INVENTOR OF THE WASHING MACHINE: it’s a machine that washes INVENTOR OF THE DISHWASHER: washes what
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[picture of newborn baby] What would you name this Chonky?
10 days ago
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I'm here in what I was falsely informed was the Criterion Closet.
10 days ago
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