🍄😻🪩

🍄😻🪩

just shaved my body for the first time in over a month

just because I cry more than you doesn’t mean I’m the biggest baby

🍄 & edm tonite queen?

gooning for the greater good

just because I cry more than you doesn’t mean I’m the biggest baby

Let's kiss eyeballs together, my love

this windowless office is slowly driving me insane

making a meal out of the office kitchen snacks because I’m too lazy to go outside

clinically approved vibes

Hello, would you like to be horny AND unsettled? *blinks one eye at a time*

okay got my night before new gig panic attack out of the way… time to lock tf in

a second edible has hit the tum tum

reject modernity(instant pot), embrace tradition(dutch oven)

crafting date night #warhammer #glassetching

yearning for that bygone era… (when I owned a squatty potty)

you shouldnt just post your feelings! that makes me mad!

putting myself in a coma so I don’t have to wait until May

I'm getting mixed messages about what is okay to do to presidents

well this really… whatever’s opposite of butters my biscuit 😞

laptops imply buttbottoms

this is the year for horsing around

getting my eyes gouged out at Claire’s

this tracks

floortime is goated

Every new year feels like a threat

my boss just called to tell me that i start our next gig on Monday… ive had 3 months off to get my apartment organized and have done fuck all. im about to lock in like I’ve never locked in before…

ok frist post of 2026 better make it a good on

2025 was a time that had 365 days

life gave me lemons, so I decided to grow some more

If you're cold they're cold bring them inside

barkeep, can i get another activity placemat over here please? (sliding a fifty across the bar) and keep those crayons comin'

doordashing a cup of kindness

big party at my house for introverts tonight bring your own noise cancelling headphones and kindles

do they let all five guys have their way with the burger before they serve it to you?

Ah the familiar nye panic of not wanting to go anywhere and feeling guilty / trying to convince myself to go out and feeling anxious

100mg of thc isn’t too much if you are pure of heart

if you start the humpty dance at 11:58:56 pm you can be getting busy in a burger king bathroom by midnight

at least tomorrow is next year

it’s about high time i got high

They say you reap just what you sow but I think sometimes people drop some seeds in your life and then you gotta reap that stuff too

Cause of death: low amount of likes and reposts

while everyone is distracted by trying to get their New Year’s Eve kiss, take the opportunity to get into the bathroom for your New Year’s Eve piss

keeping my kindle in airplane mode to finish hamnet even though it was due back yesterday

sometimes you just have to hold your cat up in front of a mirror and say “dats u” to remind them that they’re real

Manifesting peace, love, and a little go fuck yourself for the new year