at what point is it not burnout anymore? I’m tired of this grandpa

ruminating thoughts are exhausting

if Jared Leto has no haters I have ceased to exist on any plane of existence

oh my god i'm going sane

against my better judgment i still have pride in my work

Interviewer: what are your future plans? Me: lunch Interviewer: I meant long term plans Me: what, like dinner?

Sorry I'm 3 days late, I was eating a pomegranate.

a morning after pill, but for that really stupid thing you said yesterday in front of everyone

hey, had a thought here, what if we just… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Pro-tip: you don't have to brush your teeth if you put a little bit of toothpaste on all of your food

“two trips are for pussies” she whispered to herself, out of breath and sweaty after carrying all the thanksgiving groceries up 3 flights of stairs

Thanks, hamburger.

I haven’t been alright since I became self-aware.

a few months ago i asked one of my patients how’s it going; they replied “like a testicle, i’m hangin in there” they passed away over the weekend, sadly, but may this banger live on in their memory

frothing at the mouth for the Vampire Lestat release date

im young. im hot. im full of a mildly concerning amount of dread.

i change into my outdoor pajamas to go to the corner store bc we live in a society

hey, don’t kill your peace by thinking too much. *rips bong and starts violently coughing*

I’m only here for the hot reply guys.

When calligraphers get mad they send strongly lettered words

love that my building comes with a sauna

caramelize me like one of your french onions

does anyone else have a song that plays in their head when they hit flow state? mine’s the King of the Hill theme song.

could you pls hold this for a me *hands you some wasps*

pregaming Thanksgiving with a Trader Joe’s turkey pot pie

“cut towards your bubby, not your body” listen here buddy, i will slash open my femoral artery before i accidentally slice my cat’s lil snoot

Your honor, I plead dare.

WHAT IF WE WERE SOUP?

got kicked out of the funkytown chapter of fight club because I talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it

another day another evil fog seeping in

the beasts in me

which praying mantis eats the head if they’re lesbians?

A nutritionist, personal chef, personal trainer, therapist, life coach, financial advisor, and concierge general surgeon could fix me

nice

It hit me like a ton of feathers in that I'm not sure what the outcome will be.

Wrapping the empty boxes I got my cat for Christmas and placing them around my vacuum cleaner\Christmas tree

avoiding TikTok rn because it’s telling me more about what to do with avoidant attachment discard than sourdough discard

also getting read to filth by my therapist

turns out the solution to my listlessness was eating a bowl of soup and drinking water

They're going to get worse

6 planets are in retrograde right now, just stay in the house.

is it really a guilty pleasure or were you just raised catholic?

no thoughts just vibes

imdb is short for im down bad

Well dang. This bong isn't gonna smoke itself

surely the remedy for my upset stomach is having a snack before making my fourth cup of coffee

How come when hot girls don't text back quick it's because they aren't thirsty but when I take my time I am "a terrible friend" or "irresponsible"