I feel like utter fucking trash.

At this point, it would be weird if something didn't hurt.

Hash browns should be served all day so I can add them to my hamburgers.

I always regret not getting tater tots

This isn't my first rapture and it won't be my last.

If I'm here I'm waiting

The 7th layer of hell is the school pick up line.

Double park my heart

Only the shortest of buses for you, my friend.

You deserve a nap after this.

Goals not met is a life achieved.

Pulling my pelvic floor up into my throat.

I told my boss people don't have to listen to me because I have no authority. She said bet and now I'm a supervisor. WTF, that's not what I meant.

You only have to read my bullshit while I wait.

Welcome to the next episode of pussy PT where we learn to snap an apple in half.

I see your fuck and raise you for fuck's sake

Early is on time On time is late.

I'm at the part of my day where I'm done working but works not over.

I have your large file sharing right here On this thumb drive in my pants

We'll walk until the sun rises high We'll walk until the moon shines bright We'll walk until the days turns cold We'll walk until you can walk no more Then I'll be left to walk alone.

This could have been a nap.

It's a day of rest So you have to sleep all day

I present to the class suggestive carrot legs

Yo gaba, gabapentin

"I am so tired" an autobiography

Keep it up my bitches We are locked in.

Lib Bro tEa

For only $8 a day, you could give me a dollar raise.

UAP out my ass

Oh the places I've been The things I've seen And the secrets I've kept For the people not worth it.

Absolutely insane I can't block the people I work with.

The cat would like a drink at your earliest inconvenience

Might I suggest a unisex name so you always know when they don't know you.

The mood lighting for the pelvic exam was a nice touch. 👌

They put me in charge at work.

I tried texting one of my posts to a friend and they called in a wellness check.

The pharmacy tech doesn't find my jokes funny.

Getting a prescription for getting dick down.

You should only have to do one thing a day.

No prior authorization? Let me tell you all my problems then.

I just show up on your timeline every once in a while so you have the opportunity to unfollow me.

I'm going to need an emotional support dick. 🥹

Didn't know pussy PT was a thing But here I am

We wait the wait of the people Only to wait again.

Those of us not under the struggle bus are doomed to ride it.

Burrito auto square

I will not be running your bitch errands.

Finds a job that's ok with drug use after I stopped doing drugs. This really has a bitch rethinking her life choices.

These rocks didn't rise up from the earth. They eroded down.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter. I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. It was a bear in the trash.