I wear black hoping the ravens will accept me as one of their own

Getting my ribs removed while I’m under for bottom surgery in a sort of a one woman gift of the magi situation

Tap. Taptap. TAPTAPTAPTAPTAP.

I recently tried to buy a product from a company that clearly uses a lot of AI. The experience included them not sending my order, randomly sending extra orders, and then falsely trying to lock me into a subscription I didn't request. It was a disaster.

what is old is new again

The dudes in Trump's regime are the guys in private school who would've flunked out due to their grades but their rich dad slipped the principal a check. It's pure white mediocrity on display.

Olive Oyl wanna know why her name not on the sign.

#Opinions #are #like #assholes:

Post a warning

This meme is incomprehensible except to the select few who’ve been initiated into deep and cursed lore.

Advertise your account with one image

it's me, i'm the raccoon

I think every day of my life about “Real Housewives of the Federation”

i hope that someone gets my i hope that someone gets my i hope that someone gets my hotdog in a bottle, yeah hotdog in a bottle, yeah

While reading the news from Budapest, take a moment to look at this photo of Hungarian-American Bela Lugosi at an antifascist rally in Los Angeles during the war.

"Eddie"

Autocorrect persecutes me like I ran over her daddy with a golf cart

Ugh I can’t with her

Champagne tastes, Kirkland budget

Firstable: colored bumper plates that are mid-colored anger me Red = 25kg/55lbs Blue: = 20kg/44-45lbs The sight of red 45s angers me

Open face Barbacoa and mozzarella sandwiches on homemade bread fried in duck fat and broiled

if you’re friends with someone who wears an ascot, you can’t be mad when you get invited to his dogs birthday party

it is acceptable to wipe your hands on a sleeping relative because they are your napkin

lol kids are now speculating that we should baptize the LLMs by holding them & all their data centers and execs under water for a while to make sure the baptism really STICKS, yknow

NANCY PELOSI: the anarchists may be surreptitiously infiltrating otherwise peaceful protests ANARCHIST: [in full wizard regalia during his Dairy Queen shift] what?

Everyone sharing the Iranian LEGO videos

Yorgos Lanthimos’s When Harry Met Sally

Uwe Boll's Lawrence of Arabia.

Yes, I do have a type. Why do you ask? youtube.com/watch?v=Q1Ic...

cyberpunk has had its run now it's time for cyberska give me robot rudeboys and augmentations that turn your hands into trombones

D.W. Griffith's The Brother from Another Planet.

hydra: seven roller dogs, seven doctor peppers

"but did you consider...." yes i made this one too don't worry.

Mel Brooks' The Last Temptation of Christ

So, I cannot go to Costco unsupervised Lead me not into temptation, for I can find it myself

I was just talking about this happening to one of our biggest vendors “Our sales are down, so we’ll raise our prices to keep our margins whole on the lower volume” Um, I don’t have an MBA or anything but even I can spot the flaw in this plan

You couldn't make Blazing Saddles today. Maybe get some sleep and try again tomorrow.