If I owned a bar, this would be framed by the register

a lot of stuff is bad, but I just remembered these Bob Ducca lists — which are good youtu.be/SBMIBQuLlXI?...

Ken Jennings: This dipshit with a stupid name- (buzzer) Ken Jennings: Gloria? Gloria:

all media companies are gravely underestimating my willingness to teach teenagers how to use bittorrent

Can't believe I have to cut out 8,000 Trump heads to paste on my leftover Biden "I Did This" stickers for the gas pump prices. This is gonna take forever, but I swore a vow.

The show peaked for me with Mulaney's "I am... indifferent to baseball cards."

How the fuck is this thing gonna open its mouth and not only speak English but sound like a guy with FX dramedy voice

This is what you can look like if you don't have a little sycophant at your side laughing at all your jokes and making you soft and complacent

They call it a Caesarian birth because of the way one "digs into" a Caesar salad

"Behold, I am according to thy wish in God's stead: I also am formed out of the clay." -- Job 33:6

(rubs eyes, throws away whiskey flask)

Mullin sent a bow-wrapped goat leg to his office

NW:

We need to increase the stakes for every fast food CEO

Look at this shit. Nothing more bipartisan than war.

i'm disappointed but not shocked that this time capsule from 2016 is not only still true, but maybe even more true

never seen a better create-a-pro wrestler

You were never gonna do shit man

Elected Democrat Thrilled He Doesn't Have To Do Anything

We need to increase the stakes for every fast food CEO

twitter vs bluesky

Another feat of excellence for the braintrust behind Bluesky

Pre-season baseball is the fastest growing sport in America right now. It would be a monumental mistake to end it on March 25.

30,000+ infected

Did I tell you about the time I chatted with Danny DeVito?

Wanna feel old? If Dream On was made today, the main character would be flashing back to episodes of Dream On

Shooting an entire feature on Super 8 and distributing it on this

Vanilla Sky (2001)

I really like that bit in Temple of Doom where Indie goes, "See you later BAD GUY" and then slams the door on the airplane, revealing he's stowing away on BAD GUY SHIPPING INC

A senator? Who only wears hoodies??

I am looking for 12k friends :)

If we’re being real here’s my issue with the Gorillaz: I don’t think people should lie about being cartoons, I think it’s immoral

(failed geometry 30 years ago) Happy Pi Day everyone!

Al and Tipper getting into bathroom remodeling

Eternally and ergonomically grateful for Linz for finding this. Highly recommended!

Need help identifying this rubber neck massager. I think it came in a corporate swag bag, but it's perfect. It has a little more give than a tennis ball. But it's starting to split from the years I've had it, and I wanna stock up. Can't find it anywhere. Any ideas?

Area Dog is having a very good dream.

I had to stop him from inviting them in

If you smell toast, you might be having a stroke... a stroke of luck that is. It’s toast time.

I watched the trailer and haven't had a reaction like that since Olivia Reingold's John Oliver impression

Lotta hype around this movie tonight, guess I'll add it to my watchlist

Tim Stalin in accounting?

Greg Davies: Walked out of the underworld. Didn't look back once. Job done! Orpheus: Thanks Alex Horne: We did want to show you one more clip of when he came out...

- How do you like school, Ian? - (pulling mouth cord) Closed!