Did the Rapture happen or is the postman just late?

Finally reading this anti-fascist dystopian sci-fi novel from 1937 for no reason whatsoever.

I remember when Trump was first elected the first time and all the experts were like “the office of the president changes the person rather than the person changes the office”. What a load of old shit that turned to be.

I’m quite enjoying this.

“Pay attention. The 600 series had rubber skin. But these are new. They look human. Sweat, bad breath, everything. Very hard to spot.”

Never mind, apparently this is bollocks

Did everyone but me know this?

This how non-practical I am. Just had some plastering done and was horrified to discover this huge patch of rising damp. Then I realised it was my shadow.

"Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg has told analysts that people without smart glasses may one day be at a "significant cognitive disadvantage" compared to those who do use the tech"

ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE with @itsdanthomas.bsky.social shows.acast.com/smershpod/ep...

This photo was taken at the moment it was pointed out to me that the vintage coat I was *about* to buy is the exact colour of sheep shit.

Turns out you can freeze them for up to three months. This is now a fantastic situation.

Because my kitchen is still a building site, I just bought £2.99 Too Good To Go of non-specific “cold food” and now I have 15 pasties (assorted). This is simultaneously an amazing deal and a BAD SITUATION.

Woah Wordle 1,548 2/6 🟨⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Targeted ads finally figuring me out

Look I know the 20th Century was a different time and everyone had lead in their drinking water, Benson and Hedges were given to babies to mollify them between feeds, and the only time people moisturised was when it rained… Anyway, here’s Sid James at 36.

There’s a lot going on in the world, And I don’t want to add to it, But I’ve got to say, The Burger King Wagyu meal, Isn’t worth the extra, 4 quid.

How do you answer your phone?

I’m not sure the builders are using the right materials.

I think it would be very funny to only own a single solitary limited edition collectible action figure, and it’s just Marcus Brody reading a book and holding an apple.

Go for it pal.

By 2035 you’ll be able to do a degree in whether something is a cake

SORRY WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO SELL ME THIS TIME??

Trump at an Epstein party

Since the name’s going spare now, I’m rebranding my garden The Department of De Fence

Repost with a character that would make an excellent Shitposter

My app tells me directing a horror short has been good for my health. I beg to differ.

Thank for getting back to me on this, I’m afraid I’m not free this morning, does it have any availability this afternoon?

Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?

What’s the matter babe? You’ve barely your ornamental Santa Clause taking a dump on the sexy lady moon.

I’m half way through Season 8 and I am absolutely hating it. Every episode feels cobbled together from bits of episodes from its gokden age and the Scully and Doggett dynamic isn’t up to much. I won’t tap out but only because I’ve plunked so much time into it, but I’m rarely entertained anymore.

Why does every picture of this git look like a Reuters photo of an SNL cast member who’s just been sacked?

Why does every picture of this git look like a Reuters photo of an SNL cast member who’s just been sacked?

Ok. Fine. I’ll ask. Who is Taylor Swift?

Well fuck. They paywalled it.

Good morning from here.

"I don't care what anyone says, I like that movie."

Targeted ads, again, missing the mark.

I don’t get scared while watching Alien Earth because I have Dan O’Bannon’s original concept art seared into my brain

Here’s my tiny beautiful oldest daughter 12 years ago. The most adorable, beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Smash cut to yesterday when she said “If I ever get a boyfriend he damn well better be into grunge.” I really like being her father.

If you’re in Edinburgh, go and see this, it’s a joy.

When U2 threatens to do a new tour.

If you’re in Edinburgh, go and see this, it’s a joy.

What do these cunts think a “quip” is?

Prediction One or both of then get in a mood and hour or two in and storm out calling the talks futile.