if ai was an employee of any business, it wouldn’t pass its probationary period. ‘you’ve been spending a LOT of time at the water cooler, making many of the women in the office feel very uncomfortable and…. about your search history….’

well, here it is

well, here it is

[pointing at a stranger’s tattoo of two heart enclosed dates, roughly three years apart] hahahaha! what’s this crazy ink about!?

work in progress show at @angelcomedy.bsky.social 4th march. why not pop down?: get your ticksts here: link.dice.fm/U996eff70141...

gervais: we never had neuro-diversity in my day gervais, two minutes later: that person making noise while i’m eating is causing me mental distress.

i can’t believe i haven’t brushed my teeth since 2024!

gervais: we never had neuro-diversity in my day gervais, two minutes later: that person making noise while i’m eating is causing me mental distress.

david tennant, oil on board these small 6”x6” oil on board portraits are so fun to do. dm if you’d like to commission one.

there are no rules to comedy, that’s its beauty, but if at any point you find yourself unironically miming tying on a keyboard while doing the ‘whiney liberal voice’, you’re doing bad comedy

i love stranger things because i love when two characters walk fast while talking about a plan involving two other characters who are elsewhere

so at what date in 2026 do we think the entire economy will collapse because it’s a house supported by one twig created by k-holed psychopaths to waste water, create consent free pornography and tell teenagers to kts?

my 2026 resolution is to ignore anyone who wears a three-piece suit to a podcast recording

important work

early 2026 commissions already stacking up, but still room for a few more. dm me for enquiries and quotes

the skill of michael caine’s performance in muppets christmas carol is that every 5 seconds he crosses his eyes, turns to camera and says ‘i’m acting with these zany puppet fellas, ain’t that a hoot!?’

me: you boy what day is it today? boy: nonces shout out of the window day. me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.

epstein was dead…. to begin with

the skill of michael caine’s performance in muppets christmas carol is that every 5 seconds he crosses his eyes, turns to camera and says ‘i’m acting with these zany puppet fellas, ain’t that a hoot!?’

happy christmas eve!

happy christmas eve!

this is going to be great! can't believe there are still tix available, it's at the Leeds Skelton Lake Motorway Services, doors at 9am, should be finished in time for the kings speech!

don’t forget you can get a discounted ticket for my preview tomorrow if you use the code: errorinjudgement1

i’d like to solve the puzzle now, alex

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: RETURN OF THE KING with @atomcrowley.bsky.social and @tpneenan.bsky.social shows.acast.com/smershpod/ep...

gandalf: fool of a took! pippin: woah not cool man. that’s our word

merry christmas

merry christmas

there are just some christmas songs that it is not ok to sing anymore. like ‘santa baby’ or ‘good king walliams’

author’s secret contained within, c’est la vie. (6)

author’s secret contained within, c’est la vie. (6)

hang on… hang on… in the princess bride, christopher guest plays a six fingered man. which means his fingers… go up to eleven!

snowman in the meadow having gained sentience mere seconds earlier: so, you ladies single?

jimmy, can you honestly call yourself an ‘equal opportunity offender’ when you have taken money to specifically not offend the saudi royal family? so do romani and trans people just not have enough money to get themselves off the subject list?

jimmy, can you honestly call yourself an ‘equal opportunity offender’ when you have taken money to specifically not offend the saudi royal family? so do romani and trans people just not have enough money to get themselves off the subject list?

rest in peace rob reiner ♥️

rest in peace rob reiner ♥️

robin Ince portrait, oil on board

robin Ince portrait, oil on board

completing my missy portrait commission

self portrait, oil on board 2025

self portrait, oil on board 2025

I have many, often contradictory opinions

tarantino flicking through his big book of actors nobody dislikes and stopping at random pages. its finally time to bring down nathan lane and randall park.

clearing some much needed space. If any of these appeal as last minute gift ideas dm me and offer.

clearing some much needed space. If any of these appeal as last minute gift ideas dm me and offer.

piers morgan’s jubilee video is stunning. he doesn’t have the intellectual rigour to argue any point beyond surface level. he mentally has three cue cards in his head that say ‘participation trophies’ ‘whiny wokeys’ and ‘blue hair’

never forget, christmas can be hard for people. for instance, marie kondo and wim hof look at this scene and see nothing but warmth and abundance

following a star ✅ getting pregnant from a non terrestrial life form ✅ a virgin mother ✅ in space nobody can hear you scream = silent night alien is a nativity story

you have such a lousy attitude, who are you with? the daily prophet? no wonder it’s a failing institution. i see the pictures, they move a bit, it’s like a gif on paper, i call it paper gif, i call your newspaper lousy paper gif