Hebden Bridge? Yesden Bridge!

I must have missed you. I was in the VIP Room with Gary Wilmot and Geoffrey Palmers ghost. Just next to the Vimto Fountain and the Zardoz bouncy castle.

Hey, hi and hello from the Toilets and Urinals Festival in Hyde Park!

A Wheezing Groaning Sound & Smersh Pod double bill! LIVE! Join Tom, Paul and John for a couple of hours! Saturday October 17th, 2026. Tickets here: www.tickettailor.com/events/cheer...

I like to think I'm a glass is half full rather than a glass is half empty sort of person but, in the words of the brilliant @paullitchfield.bsky.social "I'm a glass is half-full sort. Half full of piss and scissors". podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/t...

Looks like I picked the wrong day to fucking move even on an atomic level.

London is a cauldron, so I’ve gone to the seaside to take in the vapours.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to boil bananas wearing 100 bandanas.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to take this Zumba class in the local fish and chip shop.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to juggle hot toffee apples on this bouncy castle.

POTOm 033. We're 33er than Jesus right now. Sketches incl. Alan Sugar's toilet endorsement, Coffee-tee-fee & the Granosphere. Chat topics incl. courtroom artwork in the Take Hart gallery + the DFS man & his partner Lettice Cootes-Campbell. Evryone's talkin about em! www.patreon.com/TheTrapComed...

This image of Bigfoot having a paddle is clearly A.I fakery.

Never had a spirit animal, but today I found my spirit toilets.

Goes 1 mph up and down your garden. Fare rises due to major shareholder needing a new gazebo.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to juggle lit charcoal in this clay oven.

'The New American Gothic' Criselda Vasquez Oil on canvas 72” x 48"

Just been standing inside Big Ben as it stuck 12pm. Stunning to stand at height level to the number six on the face. Alas no phones allowed, so here’s one of the lavs.

"You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous of which is, 'never get involved in a land war in Asia,' but only slightly less well-known is 'never let a man only known for bankruptcy and pedophilia negotiate terms'!"

No more Hinge and Bracket for the Gen A’s!

Sparks!!!

May reads achieved.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to erect the scaffolding to enjoy a ‘high soup!’

Dear Trip Advisor: My flat is a now mainly a Hostel for Flies. What’s the going rate as they won’t go!

It’s really frightening.

It’s too hot! Can you replace the sausage with a Calippo?

Looks like I picked the wrong day to render down lanolin in my lucky cauldron.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to distribute lasagne in my hot air balloon.

Ha!!!!

See also the Ladybird book about him called ‘A Cunt.’

UK migration is going down. Mainly because living in Monaco is now seen as more realistically affordable!

This all happened in 6 hours. So unsure how.

Lov what you do.

This artwork is titled "Road Trip" by Canadian painter Rebecca Aldernet. Aldernet is based in Atlantic Canada and creates figurative art often featuring solitary figures, birds, and quiet landscapes.

Tonight’s Eurovision sure fire winner… Sardinia. Fantasy Asshole. By the St Ogden Sisters.

An eclectic day.

Like a stop motion pork scratching on a mobility scooter.

Not sure I need a Prime Minister who looks like a thumb full of thumbs.