March reads achieved.

Four years today. Soar amongst the stars M x

Just ONCE can our energy bills be lowered in the fucking winter! When we actually need it. Just once. Just fucking once. Just some slither of kindness for the love of fucking once.

Rita, Sue and Bob Too origin story.

Dirty little boffins.

Not saying I bear grudges, but I’m still annoyed at one of my friends as a teenager for slagging off Hi-de-Hi.

Portrait of a Tom as a Young Neenan 3:15 every day at Underbelly George Square. A comedy show about my face and other works of art. underbellyedinburgh.co.uk/events/event...

blossom • books • booze • Brazilian

Saatchi Gallery gadabout.

Don’t forget to put all your clocks outside tonight.

Farage stripogram arrives.

Full video only available here: www.patreon.com/posts/potomo...

David Hockney

Tomatoes.

He filled up the toilet, had a 13 minute cry and told the staff he invented birds nests.

Stephen Colbert writing a Lord of the Rings film. Pfft. Larry Grayson wrote Predator!

Rustie Lee?

Oh we just went and dicked about at the Lazer Quest in the Trafford Centre. She had many sides I spose.

Jacek Yerka- Polish (b.1952) Gardeners Garden. 2002-2012. acrylic on canvas. #Surrealism

How about these? Luke Littler and Leslie Joseph’s Cornish Escape Room Adenture? Eammon Holmes goes off road with Raol Moat’s ghost? The Shetland Isles with Richard Digance and a packet of Revels?

© Hasui Kawase. 'Rain at Ushibori,' 1929. Woodblock print, 42.9 × 29.8 cm.

Vote for Smersh as the Listeners' Lobe Award winner here! podlifeawards.com/vote/the-lis...

housing is more expensive now, but also a lot safer. this kind of home was considered cream of the crop in the 1980s

First cunt on the moon.

Hoping to make money here as I can’t drive.

Still hungry in Singapore.

Hungry in Singapore

My Singapore hotel is in the ‘quiet’ nothing to see neighbourhood.

Back in Singapore. Jet of the lagged.

Five bungee jumping locations where I have misquoted an episode of It Ain't Half Hot Mum. One is false. Can you guess? 1. Skyline, Southampton. 2. Mendip Activity Centre. 3. The Drop, Thetford Forest. 4. The Abyss, Sheffield. 5. Bungydome, Edinburgh.

Can this be a solution?

Kenny Eggs.

£5 Budgie. £10 Minke Whale. £20 Komodo Dragon. £50 Panda smoking a cigar. £100 All the above in a hot tub.

Do bears shit ironically in the woods?

rise • coffee • ceiling • phwoarr

day trip to Norwich

day trip to Norwich

Because of the war or something, Trump has decided that he has won Crufts.

Left to Right. “When’s the bloody train due?” “And that’s 300 grams of denim.” “This isn’t the train station Cecil.” “I’m just here to get me vape fixed.” “Which one of you shot my dog?”

It’s getting to the point where an escaped goose is gonna affect the fucking economy.

Left to Right. “Why are the shutters closed?” “Dunno. Must be running late.” “Shit. I think the clocks have gone back.” “Do you know where they keep the dill?”

“Morning Ian.” “Get stuffed!” “Ooh someone got up on the wrong side of the dam.”

"Breathing Upward" 25 х 40 cm., acrylic and oil on canvas, 2026 #art #originalart #lilies

I’ve done Alan Icicle’s course and it’s quite enlightening.

I suppose if it were a 3-5-3 syllable structure, it would be called a lowku.

DEEP POEM and all the while they seemed to say fuck Trump!

The tutting and eye rolling are NOTHING to me. Give me my certificate!!!

So happy to discover that my favourite shop ‘Partially Accessible Rubble’ has reopened.

Truth is his Kryptonite.