How dare Iran fire back at US military bases that the US chose to build right next to Iran, just because the US started bombing Iran. I am sure they will get rid of a few bad men and all the innocent kids burned alive in the process will be happy for their sacrifice.

Yes I think Sharon and Kelly Osbourne aren't the nicest people but joking about eating disorders does let people know you're a wanker.

Was genuinely lovely to meet up with Dan and Pin and the rest of the Sikth cabal last night. We drank too much and harped on about the good old days. Also they did a very good concert in between.

My wife, she is tall

I agree that getting rid of an egomaniacal dictator (who oversees the suppression and killing of peaceful protesters) by bombing his residence is a necessary step, which is why I'm calling on the USA to bomb The White House.

Even if they were, why does the USA - the only country ever to attack another country with nuclear weapons - get to say "Ahhh, no - you guys can't be trusted with nuclear weapons". Also, if I was Iran - with all the bombing of countries in the Middle East by the US - I'd want a nuclear deterrent.

My next family comedy show is in two weeks time in Chelmsford and tickets are very limited. Grab one of those last seats sharpish!!! www.chelmsfordtheatre.co.uk/event/olaf-f...

Blowing things up, kidnapping and killing foreign leaders, is good because it's Doing. Considering the consequences of Doing would be Thinking, which is weak and woke

There is no marketing I'm more susceptible to these days than any company saying they don't use generative AI in their projects. I'm a sitting duck for that promise even if they're selling graham crackers or masking tape.

If only we could have had some agreement with Iran - a treaty perhaps - where they agreed not to develop nuclear weapons and allowed us to inspect their facilities in return for us not attacking them. That would avoid anyone being killed at all.

Sikth have just proved, yet again, that they are one of the greatest bands of all time. Of any genre. Mystical, methodical, magical, maniacal, pure adrenaline filtered through technical flare. I love them so fucking much my tits ache.

Just noticed my mouthwash says "10 in 1 action" on the label. Couldn't be bothered to read the back to see what all the actions are. Now lying in bed wondering what they all are.

The first woman in Parliament to appear in the Guardian's 'best-dressed at Glastonbury' feature. You'll never sing that, etc...

Extraordinary that in these fractious & divided times, so many of us can unite around the single, simple fact that Matthew Goodwin is an irredeemable twat.

It’s 20 years since Linda Smith left us. Such a unique comic voice. So dazzling in everything - JAM, Clue, Brief History of Timewasting… effortlessly witty and regularly speaking truth to power (and taking the piss out of Boris seemingly weekly) I was absolutely gutted and still am to be honest.

I know I’m a slow processor on this stuff, and re Gorton and Denton I have no specific skin in that constituency, but a PM calling people who vote Green ‘extremists’ is a *really* bad look …

People who like to boast that they've been blocked by someone famous are always tedious pricks. It doesn't mean you've touched a nerve or made a good point or that person is thin skinned. It just means you're irritating.

Hearing unconfirmed reports of a tv advert without Peter Crouch or his missus. More as we get it.

The Green Party has won more elections than Reform have. Why are Reform constantly on TV and the Green Party is ignored? The electorate says it should be the other way around.

1. Homer's Iliad and Odyssey 2. The life and works of Boris Karloff 3. Iron Maiden 4. Tractors 5. Criminal Law

Are there any good adaptations of Lovecraft's work? I love the "podcast" but any other recommendations would be welcome

If you add Elon Musk’s money to my money, I’m the richest man in the world. bsky.app/profile/saul...

I don't care what you believe but you have to admit - beliefs are odd. A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another fucking cross?

It’s gonna be interesting to see if Britain’s lunatic news media are gonna be able to make “this moderate social democrat is actually Turbo-Hitler” stick this time when the guy in question is not leading a party full of psychos actively looking to sabotage him for their own benefit.

Pleasing early feedback for my role as Kemi Badenoch’s speech writer

Loved the Stewart Lee bit about 'Wish I could be dead like Bill Hicks and be judged on eight gigs. Instead, I have to go on living, decreasing the quality of my own obituary with every show.'

I'm sorry but if you don't listen to anything and everything Jo Neary produces then you are missing out.

My wee podcast ‘Two Strings & Paint Tins’ features Robin Ince, Martin Rowson, Jane Harvey, Catherine Beazley and Pad Mclean so far. More to come, they take me DAYS to make.. here are some nice reviews for Robin’s ep. Thank you all listeners and supporters, I love making this daft thing <linkinbio>

He didn't write Red Dwarf but he once done a shit behind our recycling bin and I still don't know whether it was a prank or a protest. #RIPGreggJevin

Keen hobbyist.

The Trump admin keeps insisting that a lot of the accusations in the Epstein Files were baseless, and surely some were. But the FBI held FOUR different interviews with one of Trump's accusers and then SIX more with another accuser, which suggests the agents thought *these* women were on the level.

Please add your voice … the ECB’s decision has had a devastating impact on my mental wellbeing as a long term player of women’s cricket …

Your regular reminder: it NEVER just ends with trans people … NEVER …

Is there ever a moment when president Thin Skin is not erupting at something/someone? What a great, proud, mature statesman.

“Aaand…that’s the end of my Ted Talk.”

stop calling us nazis just because we are invalidating IDs and rounding people up based on their skin color and putting them in concentration camps and sending them off to foreign gulags and using all that nazi imagery and banning books and dont forget about all the pedophilia. so just stop alright

Buffalo police tasered and arrested a blind Burmese refugee who was using a curtain rod as a walking cane because he couldn’t understand their commands. Then, Border Patrol dropped him off alone at a Tim Hortons at night, 5 miles away from his home, and he was just found dead.

My proposal for cleaning up political donations: No corporate donations, at all. Companies aren’t people. All donations (over, say, £500) must be from UK resident tax payers and limited to the amount they personally paid in UK income tax (not capital gains or whatever) in the previous tax year.

Rush tickets for the UK shows go on general sale tomorrow, so if you were hoping for anyone in your corporate IT department to be able to answer the phone at 10am, then good luck to you.

this is the way www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

Wild how Hillary Clinton has to answer for why Trump raped kids with Jeffrey Epstein.

My book A Heart That Works just became profitable (meaning it's made more $ than the advance I was paid, & most books don't!). I'm telling you this because I gave 100% of that advance to kids' hospices & now, again, when ppl buy it, I can give more $ to kids' hospices: bookshop.org/p/books/a-he...

People of Gorton and Denton you are our first hope - we are begging you to send the Far Right back to wherever the fuck it is they came from. #FirstHope #GortonandDentonbyelection #VoteGreen

I assume Farage and his ilk are going to release a statement condemning this

William Melvin Hicks born 16th December 1961. The aliens came for him 26th February 1994. He continues to explore space, both inner and outer.

If only Israel had allowed reporters into Gaza - I wonder how many of the thousands of war crimes would have been caught on camera. "Israeli soldiers shot a Palestinian boy and stood around as he bled to death, and prevented an ambulance from reaching him, video shows" www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

when i first went on twitter back in late 2023 to talk about Alice, I saw posts comparing the way trans people were being treated to a genocide and the holocaust and I admit, I thought, c’mon, that’s too much, it’s bad but really, don’t make these comparisons… well, I’m sorry, and here we are.