Is 2026 finally the year that all adverts on telly get reported for human rights abuses?

But who would arrest the Joke Police?

Kenny, blending in with my mum’s sofa. #KennyCamouflage

My energy going into 2026.

Got a new spot for my ‘Wolf Hall’ books. It’s a Hilary Mantel-piece.

CHEESE JELLY SALAD

HELP

Wisdom from the old man

Mum met Kenny and Kenny met mum ❤️ #Kenny

‘Hi ChatGPT: do we need a new word for stupid?’ www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Kenny’s first Christmas with me. He’s done so well today. He’s met new people, been to a new house, met new dogs. It was a bit of a gamble but it payed off. He’s now having a well earned rest. Well done, Kenny. Good boy ❤️ #Kenny

What did we get stuck in our rectums last year? defector.com/what-did-we-...

I was trying to get to sleep last night by thinking of an anagram for HESTON BLUMENTHAL, and I eventually came up with NHS BUMHOLE TALENT.

There are two ladies in their 90s at Christmas dinner who are drinking sherry and comparing their walkers - wheels, sturdiness of the frame, the attractive racing green colour. Marvellous.

Oh fuck off. Happy Christmas to everyone but the bloody Royal Family.

Happy Pissmas

All dried off but it’s a plumber’s job for the new year. Bah.

Leak in bath = flooded bathroom and all the towels on floor. Happy Christmas! 🎄 🎉❄️🌊

Kier Starmer goes fucking ape shit if anyone talks during Mrs Browns Boys

nothing shakes a person to the core like meeting a baby named rick.

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer arsehole. 🚨NO RELATION, BTW🚨

Excellent.

Morrisons playing Diana Ross/Work That Body on Christmas Eve. Excellent trolling.

Kenny has found the Bert and Steve Memorial Look-out Post. #Kenny

He isn't "losing" this money. This is called "paying tax like a responsible citizen and not hiding your money offshore" and we need to start recognising and applauding it.

365 days would be mine.

Watched the latest Knives Out and yeah, well, it was ok.

🤔

Indeco IFP28X pulverizer with googly eyes.

How I'm turning up to the Bluesky Christmas party.

There is no subject under the sun so fascinating, intricate or challenging that it can’t be made less appealing by a pair of wankers with a podcast.

The piss tank on the ISS is now 62% full.

No Christmas decs up, can’t be arsed but I do enjoy the ‘ah fuck it’ mentality that descends on Christmas week.

Kenny’s been here a week and he’s settled right in. #Kenny

PACK IT IN, FACEBOOK.

PREACH

It’s hell out there. #lastminutemadness

Hereunder lies the above who up below, So hourly died that he lived on till now. First Love, 1946 Samuel Beckett 13/04/1906-22/12/1989

Stonehinge

Been a while since I've heard this! Here's the original youtu.be/m4K8NJ3_Dw0?...

I’ve listened to this repeatedly.

the catchiest sex-ed BOP you will ever hear

Why we never married

Realised that I’d bought a box of milk chocs for someone who only likes dark chocs so I’ve been forced to the open the milk chocs and resolved to buy them the correct chocs. I HAD NO CHOICE.

Kenny, now a big grown up boy and able to sleep in his own bed (next to mine, admittedly but it’s a start). #Kenny