Assuming the flight I want to get is scheduled at the same time next year, this exact time next year I'll be boarding a flight to Hong Kong that will take me to another one going to Sydney 🥰

<Blanche Devereaux voice> Ah always enjoy the company of mey-n

A CHRISTMAS CAROL This night 26 years ago was the lowest point in my adult life. After six months in Sweden I had no job, no prospects and about three euro in my pocket. I didn't want to be here any more. In truth, I didn't want to be anywhere any more. I was a total failure.

I don't think I've ever recalled a week where there have been so many reminders of how fragile and short life is as this last week. Always remember this and cherish the good times and people, folx x

Second anniversary of our Apple TV’s spectacular attempt to understand me asking for “Hercule Poirot’s Christmas”

I had a dream the other night - the night before Chris Rea died - about Middlesbrough. I had another one about Boro last night.

In my day, he'd have got a mince pie under the tree and a glass of sherry, if he was lucky.

Mr JB has gone off to work and in the meantime, I've woken up to Band Aid 1 being performed at me by a tuxedo cat who is singing a song about cats like him who are starving to death despite having been fed an hour ago.

It's Christmas Eve, not Christmas Steve.

Out of office.

Neil Tennant looks either ill or severely hungover on 1988 #TOTP

I love Eddi Reader but Perfect is an utterly awful song that she even looks like she hates performing #TOTP

How I’m turning up to the Bluesky Christmas party

So glad I'm not watching this Arsenal match. And now realise why it's just as well we're not playing 26 Dec #StopCallingItBoxingDay

For those who need this x

Cocaine Said Fred AMIRITE #TOTP

🎶🎶I'll be home for Christmas

On the plus side, some chap came up to Kinell in The Pube and said that they recognised him from his YouTube rap vids

MAH BALLS lookit em

Snapped and shouted at them on the way out. Turns out they're racist pricks too. Srsly; hope they die.

3 pissed up loud middle aged men on the train trying to grab a book off the extremely uncomfortable lass sat opposite me & generally tryna force their unfunny banter on all around them. And swearing loudly in front of small kids. Hope they slip and trap their bollix in a shredder on the way out.

I would post Goodbye Mr A in tribute to His Royal Paedoness but the Hoosiers were such a rotten godawful band that they too deserve execution

please imagine its christmas so this meme pops off PLEASE

Why, is Andrew on them?

A discussion

Notifications OFF, train ON & LEFT ON TIME & I haven't killed anyone yet.

New "Live, Laugh, Love" just dropped

Forgot that the Christmas markets all shut down and pull out today too

Absolutely spectacularly entertaining Algerian Uber driver on the way into the station. Absolutely top fella.

I'll be honest, most of your Christmas plans are giving me a headache

Shout out to the parent who thought the best way to keep their kid entertained on the train was to bring along a xylophone

Ahahahaahahahahahahahaha

My son hates 6Music and does a very good impression of the DJs with some made up band with a stupid name. I always tell him he’s being daft but we got in the car the other day to this and frankly I didn’t have a leg to stand on

Well, someone's just realised they lost their headphones 2 days after I know I had them last

And MOAR massive roadworks in Leeds City Centre throughout 2026 & 2027. They never ever end in this city.

"Did you do those chocolate wreaths like I asked?" "Certainly did boss, made them look like a Middle Ages toilet seat just like you asked." "Perfect."

8.32am in Leeds, lxds

Believe it or not, this is real

🎶I'm training home for Christmas I can't wait to smell that piss

Morning. 2 calls & 5 hours of work left in 2025.

My friend just rescued a cat who had been in a hoarder’s house and then in a shelter’s cage for five months. Came home today. I haven’t wanted to hug something more in my entire life than I want to hug Bob.

Making a fruit salad for the BlueSky moderation team

RIP Chris O’Reeeeaaa!

Love and solidarity to Palestine Action hunger strikers their friends and families.

Awwwwww FB memories has hit me in the feels! This was the O'Pube next to my mum's care home and the slightly terrifying but labour-intensive Christmas installation. There was many a time over my mum's 7-year residence I came in there in floods of tears & this cheered me up.

So very sorry to hear of Chris Rea's passing. A fine artist & genuinely big-hearted human being. We first met in 1974 when he and my first band were managed by Teesside legend John McCoy. By 1994 Chris was an international star but played on my album Love Over Rage as a favour for a penniless mate.

Whoever drew this: