The Labour Party I voted for for 50 years has gone from socialism to National Socialism in 18 months. Zack Polanski’s on to something.

Remember when kids had rotten teeth and smiles like barcodes? “Every bubble’s passed its fizzical!”

Best Photo EVER!

If you enjoy miserable autumn weather there is clearly something wrong with you. Agree with me, below.

Sick of Twitter screenshots?

Polite Request. Shove your Twitter screenshots up your pretty pink bottoms. Not interested. Many thanks.

*NEWS FLASH*⚡️ I have seen the future.

Stupid US recipes. What the hell is a cup? Big cup? Little cup?

What am I doing for Halloween? Nothing, because I’m not 8.

Just read a group of right wing Americans complaining about the cost of their health insurance (Obama’s fault, they reckon) whilst calling us “commies” for having social healthcare. They need their heads banging together.

Precisely this👇👇👇👇 Repost!

I’ve had to cancel the street party. He’s still alive. It was just a metaphor.

Aldi strikes again. 98% of your daily saturated fat in an individual pie.

Lidl needs to raise its game. ⚡️🔥

Best Photo EVER!

YouTubers that wear hats indoors should be on some sort of register.

Bruce v Trump. You be the judge.

This should go in the Metropolitan Police starter pack.

The Great Train Robbers got 30 year sentences.

America has discovered the electric kettle. Can’t wait for the launch of iBrew.

Why aren’t people that design packaging in jail?

Best Photo EVER!

Do you want another Shakespeare fact? Well, you’re getting one. He made the first recorded use of 2,035 words including lonely, horrid, assassination, critical, dwindle, frugal, zany and countless others, including countless.

I’m reading a book about the many ways that Shakespeare shaped our language. He created 314 new words simply by attaching un- prefixes to them. These include ones we take for granted such as untie, unlock, unveil and unbelievable. Unbelievable.

The return of Best Photo EVER!

America has turned into a country seemingly bereft of decency. Reform supporters - We need that sort of society over here.

Big sigh. Watch this. Can you see why the Yankees’ moment of silence, the lowered flags, the promise of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, feel like a gut punch to the very people he spent years targeting? No one wished death on this man, but what we’re seeing right now is too f*cking much.

The Duchess of Kent hasn’t ’passed away’. She has died. She’s dead. Thank you for indulging me.

A bloke tried painting a red cross on a mini roundabout near us but dropped the paint. Cars drove over it and now it looks like there’s been an autopsy.

Will everyone else be glad when this flags fad is over?

August at B&M. Bastards.

We’re in the Cotswolds. The Internet hasn’t reached here, yet. Shops take Apple Pay, but only after you’ve held up the queue (tuts/hurumphs/bloody tourists) logging on to their WiFi. Lovely area, though.

I’m struggling to figure out the connection.

I can’t decide whether not starting Chloe Kelly is ridiculous or genius.

Fabulous. Nothing better than a comeback win against bad losers. #Lionesses

Hair straightener.

But here’s the one that’s driving me berserk..

An Amazon tale. I wanted a retractable, wall-mounted hose reel. I chose the one I wanted @ £137 on Amazon. Before ordering I checked on Temu. The EXACT SAME ITEM was £57. With ‘first order discount’ and voucher it cost me SIX ENGLISH POUNDS inc shipping. Ordered Wednesday and recd this morning. 💦

Torrential rain they said.☔️ Flooding they said.🌊 Power cuts they said.🔦 I’ve just mowed the lawn. 🌤️

PRACTICE PENALTIES. #SWEENG

At the next General Election teenagers will be eligible to not bother voting from an even younger age. 🗳️

Those using TikTok are sharing all this with China. Good luck, kids.

I’ve scrolled through posts about who we shouldn’t watch at Glastonbury because of people’s political opinions (Kneecap, Neil Young, Rod Stewart etc). It’s a little bit Thought Police, tbqhwy. Let it be.

Increased taxation of the mega-rich to fund public services is not even on the agenda and I find that utterly bewildering. Or is that just me?

I still miss panic-buying so I’ve told three people that all the shops are running out of onions.

Mrs Brown’s Boys

We’re in Liverpool for tomorrow night’s Springsteen concert at Anfield. I’m in a pub near The Cavern with this sign in the gents.

If someone had told me at the start of the season that #LCFC would finish just below Spurs, who’d qualified for the Champions League, I would have happily taken that, and if I had I would now be feeling distinctly misled.

I’ve noticed increasing nastiness on here, of late. Go back to X, if being nasty is your thing, and leave the rest of us in peace.