All this blanket election coverage when millions of us don’t even have elections. Yawn.

Bugger #arsenal

Pete Hegseth has said the Strait of Hormuz is more important to the rest of the world than to the US so American allies (?) would have to take over soon. He said “We expect the world to step up, soon we will hand responsibility back to you.” Trump, Netanyahu and Putin in a suicide pact, please.

How to interview Donald Trump.👏

This is Geoff. He's lucky to be in a household that values sleepiness over cleanliness. 13/10 #SeniorPupSaturday (TT: sarahmeyers14)

I always use "more stupid" because "stupider" seems more stupid.

Now Leicester are relegated from the Championship the only thing I’ve got to look forward to is Spurs and Arsenal blowing up.

I’ve found another one.

I’VE FOUND A MAN MORE STUPID THAN TRUMP.

🆘 Need some urgent help on this Rejoin EU poll. Vote and RT ✅ www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...

I just found out the 2026 World Cup third place playoff is to be called the Bronze Final. It would be great if America stopped ruining everything for everyone.

And what’s more, not only did I never have any relationship with Epstein I have never even met Andrew.

The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe.

For the Artemis ll mission to be an unreserved success it should ‘splash down’ on Donald Trump.

Go Kobo. You’ll never regret it.

Artemis II crew returning to Earth.

Such a shame that megalomaniacs, if unchecked, will destroy it for power and greed.

This is Molly. She was finally found a week after her human fell down a 180-foot waterfall while hiking together in New Zealand. Her human was badly injured and rescued by helicopter, but Molly was missing. A week later, Molly was found at the base of the waterfall and reunited with her human. 14/10

*Jingle* Bad Grammar Of The WEEEEK!

Pool time at the doggy daycare 😃

Baked potato with beans, pork pie, pickled red cabbage and gherkins for lunch. 👌

This is Stan. He is the guardian of the stairs. It's his first day and he's a little nervous. Really hoping you don't try to pass. 12/10 (TT: stanthehotdawg)

The current average price of petrol in the US equates to 79 pence per litre. That’s roughly half the average price throughout Europe. The EU/UK, population 511 million, consumes 12 million barrels of oil per day. The USA, population 335 million, consumes 21 million barrels of oil per day. ???

Czechia trolls the Russian Embassy, Prague by renaming nearby streets after Ukraine heroes - by reddit user /nezvany_host

Even better now than they were in the 90s, IMHO. This is a fabulous album. Play loud. No, louder. 9/10.

Which face would you punch first?

Serious question. Americans call petrol ‘gas’. What do they call gas?

New influencer shop in town.

It’s all about oil. ✈️💥

On the other place I used to recommend Southland, like I did with Breaking Bad, The Shield, Justified etc. As with Breaking Bad, Southland has belatedly landed on Netflix, so you’ve no excuse. Get it watched. 8/10.

Me, earlier this evening.

Everyone in this 1977 barber style guide has killed.

Rubio: “Let me tell you, Iran is run by lunatics, religious fanatic lunatics.”

I’m looking forward to the joyous scenes as Americans welcome the millions of Iranian refugees to the US.

Things I’ve seen Americans say on YouTube today. Queen is America’s answer to the UK’s Beatles. If Europeans don’t like Trump why did they vote for him? In Europe you can’t even drink the water. In Georgia they speak American. Nobody in Europe had even heard of Greenland before Trump.

My neighbour just pulled up on his drive looking a bit put-out. He’d been to the petrol station to fill his 5L can for his mower. They shouted at him over the (busy) forecourt loudspeaker YOU CAN’T FILL THAT CAN BECAUSE OF THE PETROL SHORTAGE. That’s why we get panic buying.

It’s like rain On your wedding day…🎶

Dear Jeffrey,

I’ve just unsubscribed from a podcast because of their repeated use of the meaningless ‘uptick’ and ‘fan base’. Let that be a warning to you.

Dear Ignorant Pigs, Please stop using your speakerphones in public like fat-arsed, tight-trousered morons from The Apprentice. Many thanks.

Wouldn’t he be better ending the war that he promised he’d end in his first week in office?

A gloss-lipped contestant on The Apprentice said X, Y, ZEE. Push them in the Thames with a brick.

Tell me. Are you disappointed with your face?

Anyone fancy a refreshing, chilled can of chicken stock?

Everyone else in our road has put the wrong bin out. Every one of them. Idiots. 😑

His Nan bought off an Epstein victim with £12M of taxpayer’s money. They should be gone. All of them.

I’m still watching the Olympics Closing Ceremony. It’s going on far too long. It’s like waiting for a bus in sleet.

I’ll miss the Winter Olympics, especially commentators Tim Warwood and Ed Leigh. I love that they have such enthusiasm and the disgust of the Daily Mail. ⛷️

I’ve just been followed by someone who is following 81,000 (EIGHTY ONE THOUSAND) people. I feel so special.