Doing impressions of characters who advertise breakfast cereals is OK to begin with but it can quickly start to GRRRRRRRAAAAATE!

In 1979 I went to an early Specials gig and I got hit on the head when they were throwing demo cassettes into the crowd. I’ve still got the ska to prove it.

I brought an injured crow in from the garden and on closer inspection we saw it was a vel-crow. We’re trying not to get too attached.

Penis jewellery named after famous people: Prince Albert Guy Pearce Dick Cheney Magic Johnson

I brought an injured crow in from the garden and on closer inspection we saw it was a vel-crow. We’re trying not to get too attached.

Also not entertaining David Cameron or Dave Lee Travis

Does anyone have an ‘in’ with the greatest David? Are you his milkman? Are you his agent’s sister’s Pilates teacher? I need an in!

WHO ARE THE TOP TEN DAVE/DAVIDS?

I’ve got a picture book coming out in June called Dave, Don’t Give Up! and I’m setting myself the challenge of getting copies in to the hands of the most famous Daves/Davids. With that in mind - who ARE your top ten Daves?

HBO is my favourite American TV network and it’s also the reason Steps split up

The 25/26 Premier League run-in

Hello everyone! I am Josh, a poet, performer and workshop leader. Do please visit my website for lots of fun, FREE poems and resources: www.joshuaseigal.co.uk. Below is one of my best known poems, which is one of the many on my site. I hope you enjoy, and do please gimme a follow! #EduSky #poetry

The 25/26 Premier League run-in

Sample page selected at random…

Recreate your own Artemis splashdown with three Tunnocks teacakes and a Nespresso pod

Sample page selected at random…

A quick reminder that I have a comic book freshly published by Puffin that your 7-11 year olds will love. You can buy it from real shops and also from the internet www.penguin.co.uk/books/463333...

Would opening a laundry in a quarry be a good business idea? I’m in a quandary.

NOW That’s What I Call Ice Cream Van Jingles Volume 32.

If anyone knows any LEEDS families, please share this with them. I have one more Easter holidays family comedy show and it’s Tuesday 14th. Ticket sales are currently low 😢 so any help spreading the word will be met with eternal gratitude! leedsheritagetheatres.com/whats-on/ola...

Ventriloquist slurs

Anyone nearby to us or a bit further north, go see @ofalafel.bsky.social in Leeds! Or anywhere else, places Olaf is going to that is, but particularly Leeds! He is indeed a 'very funny plonker'.

I had a lovely message about one of my shows this week. If you fancy something funny for the whole family - I’ve got more dates in May (and beyond) plus I’ll be announcing new tour dates soon 👍 campsite.bio/ofalafel

If anyone knows any LEEDS families, please share this with them. I have one more Easter holidays family comedy show and it’s Tuesday 14th. Ticket sales are currently low 😢 so any help spreading the word will be met with eternal gratitude! leedsheritagetheatres.com/whats-on/ola...

All set to start the stupidity at the fabulous Eric Morecambe Centre in Harpenden!

Last chance to get tickets to see me in Harpenden tomorrow and then it’s on to Leeds next week. campsite.bio/ofalafel

Thanks to everyone who came to my shows in Corsham today, if you didn’t manage to get a Far-Out Five, there is one solitary signed copy in The Corsham Bookshop - get down there quick!!!

Last chance to get tickets to see me in Harpenden tomorrow and then it’s on to Leeds next week. campsite.bio/ofalafel

One of the all time funniest lines and one that I persist in using every time I hear sirens despite the inevitable eye rolling.

My show in Harpenden is tomorrow! everyonetheatres.com/book/?instan...

Ventriloquist slurs

I preferred him when he did covfefe

My family comedy show makes its way to @poundarts.bsky.social in Corsham tomorrow. Two shows but only a handful of tickets available for both. Don’t miss out Wiltshire! poundarts.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

One of the all time funniest lines and one that I persist in using every time I hear sirens despite the inevitable eye rolling.

Boxing would be much better if they had to wear glove puppets

On a clock, the second hand is also the third hand.

MAIDENHEAD FAMILIES - The 11:30am show tomorrow has now SOLD OUT

if you have kids then buy this book. Olaf and his art club got us through lockdown and I am forever grateful.

Tomorrow’s 11:30am show in Maidenhead has almost SOLD OUT. But I’m also doing a 3:15pm show which has more tickets available. Get them while you can! norden.farm/events/olaf-...

Tomorrow’s 11:30am show in Maidenhead has almost SOLD OUT. But I’m also doing a 3:15pm show which has more tickets available. Get them while you can! norden.farm/events/olaf-...

Here's a more enthusiastic review: we-my family-saw your show once in the Peartree in Edinburgh just after COVID. We had A SPLENDID TIME and still talk about it.

Love this blunt and to the point review in the middle 😂 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

From a time when the kids would get mountains of eggs, my beard wasn’t grey and Little Mix were massive

Happy Eater

If any of you have bought my latest book on Amazon and fancy giving it a glowing review, it would be a great substitute for the Lindt Bunny you probably were going to get me. www.amazon.co.uk/product-revi...

MAIDENHEAD FAMILIES. I’m back at Norden Farm with my family comedy show this Tuesday at 11:30am and 3:15pm. norden.farm/events/olaf-...

If any of your kids want to draw Eggcited Eggs and Cross Hot Buns, my bonus Easter themed Art Club video is here: youtu.be/9mM2_anwWGg Go on, give it a share!!!

I fully commit to baking Easter treats – I go in all buns glazing.

About to start my Stupidest Super Stupid Show in Flitwick. More family-friendly Easter comedy to come in Maidenhead, Corsham, Harpenden and Leeds. Get your tickets here!!!! campsite.bio/ofalafel

Tomorrow’s family comedy show is in Flitwick (Bedfordshire) - I believe there are still some tickets available campsite.bio/ofalafel